"Like delicately seasoned steak tartar..."
There is good news, there is great news and then there is the news that big wave champion Billy Kemper is joining OnlyFans. That sort of news that tilts the world on its very axis. The Maui raised Kemper, thirty-four, is known for his epic Jaws performances as well as his smoldering good looks and will certainly be a welcome addition to the popular internet subscription service.
Per the PR inquiry, Kemper “plans to use his platform on OnlyFans to share exclusive content around his training and also share his thoughts on the US Open competition.
As thirsty surf fans know, the annual Huntington Beach bacchanal officially gets underway on August 5th. Long Beach’s Sublime will be headlining the musical portion of the show leading many to imagine another glorious riot to add to a long-ish list of glorious riots.
Fun.
Back to Kemper, though, as a four-time Jaws winner, his insight into the competitive nuts and bolts of Huntington Beach, its bathymetry etc. will be more than welcome. Do you have a horse in that race or will you be mainly focused on the Olympics, which just so happen to be running concurrently?
I am in Paris covering the Games, as you know, just down the street from the USA House, as it happens. I heard a rumor that victorious surfers will be flown the 10,000 from Tahiti to the City of Light and I very much look forward to showing them around. I’ve already discovered a favorite bistro that Vahine Fierro and Joao Chianca will undoubtedly enjoy. Those are my picks for gold, by the way. Silvers will go to John John Florence and Brisa Hennessy. Bronzes to Jack Robinson and Molly Picklum.
Back to the bistro, though, I had the most delicate steak tartar of my life and foie gras that, truly, inspired. Any of the above Olympians will relish twice as much as they will have been eating poisson cru, only, for the past two weeks.
Like wandering through the maze of OnlyFans and stumbling upon Billy Kemper.
Inspired.
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Is the Tenore thing not happening?? Nothing on their IG or website.
Watching them grovel as the money well dries up , is such a great pastime.
That beard always screamed gay porn
this is a photo of Charles webster baer in washing d.c. with his pal .
https://www.instagram.com/p/B8Jd2P_hB8N/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==
”
By (apparent) popular (haha) demand
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
brilliant
* * * * *
POV at its best
a new medium for attention whoring?
That is the cultural signifigance of this generation, self promotion without any shame.
Waiting for Beef & Beer to crop a big purple schlong over those fins for Billy’s OF cover..
If Beer and Beef only used his super powers for good……
He did! ^^^
Reminds me of bathroom graffiti
“Back to the bistro, though, I had the most delicate steak tartar of my life and foie gras that, truly, inspired.”
no offense bro— but I’ll take a Spam musubi with rice and Nori, (seaweed covering) and shoyu, (soy sauce)—(ono-grinds), over whatever you said you had, any day.
I love Spam Mus, don’t get me wrong, but steak tartar, done right, is a revelation. And foie gras? Possibly the best edible thing on earth.
100%
Love how you try to make us think you are actually in Paris! Bravo Chas, bravo…
had not considered this angle, very wise
Joao Chianca for gold? Over Kauli Vaast? Your high. And don’t forget the gun to your head pressure Siqi Yang is under from China.
Comes across as a narcissistic oaf. He can give OnlyTattoos at Teahupoo a go when this venture inevitably goes tits up.
It’s true!!! A rad video available on there of him fingering his bumhole! If anyone here doesn’t have the cash to sign up I can sling you the video! But shhhhhh yeah brah.
Xox
Do you ever look at people you don’t know from afar and know deep down if you did know them you wouldn’t like them? That’s Billy for me.
Not like him? Pfffft. You’d fucking haaaaaaate the insufferable cunt.
Xox
Probably about 7.9 billion+ of such people for me.
I don’t even like me let alone the rest of you cunts on the planet.
This world we live in has made satire impossible.
this captures it all
Hawk tuah 💦
He will finally be able to bust that on Zuck’s thing live!!
soo being a Jaws winner will help him or anyone whose listening gain insight to competing at Huntington Beach?? Okay got it.
When are we getting the pics and story from the various forfesten soirées you’ve been going to at the American embassy ahead of the jollylympics? Did jumpin Joe and dancin Donald go?
Steak tar tar is more revolting than Billy’s only fans content and both can cause brain parasites
it’d be fun for him to wander through juarez without a shirt…see how long he’d last