But falls in love with the velvety pipes of Joe Turpel. "Let the immaculate vibes wash over you."
Surfing at these 2024 Paris Olympic Games was always going to create some new impression as our Sport of Queens broadened from a handful of addicts and derelicts to everyday folk. Though it has not broken through as might have been imagined, even on the day of days, a solid handful are experiencing televised competitive surfing for the very first time in their lives.
What, then, are their feelings, has a star been born and, if so, who?
Whilst our Jen See accurately described the “painfully authentic vision of what surfing actually looks like,” Luke Winkie, writing for left-leaning Slate, was left with entirely different reaction. Extremely sensual, in fact, and very much related to the smooth sounds of Joe Turpel.
The longtime voice of the World Surf League was cast as play-by-play announcer for US broadcast and appears to be turning first-time viewers all the way on.
Winkie describes his drone as “ASMR-like” and “totally conducive to a no-plans weeknight weed gummy.” The surf action, itself, as “peaceful, narcotizing, and relaxing.”
“We get to watch Olympians conquer the coastline with verve and creativity—disappearing into aquamarine tunnels of tumbling water,” he writes, “cresting the foamy tips—in a way that we never will. And afterward? They get to savor the best vacation anyone could ask for. That is the essence of competitive surfing: euphoria cut with a pang of melancholic wanderlust.”
Ahhhhhhhhhh.
Though Winkie did admit the stakes in surfing are not… let’s just say as hot as Turpel’s velvety pipes as he writes it, “lacks the spleen-squeezing tension of, say, a dicey figure skating triple axel or a break point in tennis, and though that drama makes for good television, I do enjoy the chance to decompress and leave the competitive angst behind, at least for an hour or two.”
So, in summation:
Feelings good in creepy YouTube way, star Joe Turpel, competitive professional surfing never breaking through as real sport.
Soz, Dirk Ziff.
Also, an opportunity to get back on the ski and reset?
Double ahhhhhhhhhhh.
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Drivel, yes, but left leaning? Leaning . . . . mayyyybe, but really, there is no left in this country. Bombs away!
thank you J cubed, I will apply liberally
I have a mini Joe Turpel in my mind that commentates on my day to day activities.
Ooooft I enjoyed Josh Homme for a while being my inner monologue but that is fucken crook.
Xox
I ave a mini Joe Turpel bobble head that I decked out in a ball gown, and dances on my dashboard.
I have a tv mute button that stops the pain..
shortboard surfing. ; )
The mixed skim pairs?
“totally conducive to a no-plans weeknight weed gummy.” “peaceful, narcotizing, and relaxing.”
Sounds like Captain Winkie writes copy for Mani Pedi ads…
or Ebstein Island travel brochures.
“cresting the foamy tips—in a way that we never will. And afterward? They get to savor the best vacation anyone could ask for…….. euphoria cut with a pang of melancholic wanderlust.”
LUKE AI Bio:
Luke Winkie is a soft handed Slate staff writer and former pizza-maker from San Diego. He likes long walks in the golden hills of Carlsbad and playing catch on the sun-drenched Pacific Coast Highway with his Schnauzer, Snuffy.
In his spare time when not making gourmet pizzas for the local homeless shelter and writing for The Atlantic, the New York Times, Vox, and Rolling Stone, he enjoys fireside chats at the local hookah bar, playing mandolin, studying Sanskrit and photographing Tulips
they should hold the event at Sandy’s shore break.
Newport Wedge, surely?
I thought all those left leaning tech-bro sites went bust?
Didn’t read but that pic up top shoulda been the viral shots precursor… wankers.
I – like Ben – feel Gabby cuts his cresting short, foamy tips left wanting.
I’ve got no idea what this article is even about,
The general gist of the piece reminded me of that great quote from French writer and philosopher, Voltaire:
– Who gives a shit, who gives a fuck.
I believe Volaire was the first one to say “I’m to drunk to taste this chicken” Ricky Bobby just ripped him off.
Sultry Soothing Sounds of Joe Turpel. Better than a whole bottle of sleeping pills….
I’d rather Sleepy Joe than the human angle grinder Shannon, who’s our Australian content commentator.
I wish it was harder to watch the olympic surfing live in the US.
Oh wait, It’s almost impossible you say. Awesome.
Thank you NBC for keeping the exploitation of surfing private and for the core like the ISA games.
So cool.
Can’t you find a parallel to Neymar in this story?
It’s subliminal, a fairly straight story with fruity tendencies.
Xox
On e-bikes, battery-powered scooters, french and chinese motor bikes. Cause there will be no cars. Just like southeast asia. I’ll take the coast route on my old strand cruiser to Trussel’s and sneak in off Basilone Road (like the old days) as The Marines will have re-established that Uppers&Lowers&Sano will be utilized for practicing war games. The toll road and 73 will also be usurpted. Will The SC Percenter’s survive?
The BG Olympics, where people hurl insults at one another using international language, no one gets along, and the governing body is inept, solipsistic, and riddled with typos.
A pending decision to throw in/out the red/white flag…is under review? by big brother & the holding company? talkin heads? whites for Kamala? swifties?
walk lightly
think of a time…
heals for brakes…need stickers…coupons for cheap shoes…rainbow sandals
selling all my juke boxes including Greg Allman, America, Doobie Bros, Talkin Heads and AC/DC ’cause Martin Scorcese put the The Last Waltz To Bed…”
No matter who gets elected, a politician is going to win.
maybe…or a local racatour…we got in early!
https://photographs.ventura…
That’s also the normal Olympics. Y0u’re gonna get the lawyers back on us.
I mean your.
*Yore.
Xox
Get fucked cunt.
are available to coach the Americans?
I’ve tried it extensively on Americans in the past, but except for a few special cases it is always out of their grasp.
Luke Winkie sounds like a name for a serial masturbator.
Spitting the winkie
is winkle the noun for a winkie?
Somewhere, somebody refers to him as Mr. Winkie.
Winki-pop…
If I lived in LA I would already be planning my trip to anywhere but there during that time.
true, but the Los Angeles 2028 Olympics—that’ll finally be the one. That’ll be the Olympics where surfing finally launches a flyaway kickout into the mainstream. Once everyone sees those dreamy 2-foot burgers at Lowers and all those e-bikes, sports like swimming and gymnastics will be an afterthought.
indeed. Flyway Kickout with a Biellmann spin, Flyway Kickout with a Salchow jump into a death spiral combo.
all the rage with IOC judges.
Hold the connie at the Wedge and pray for a hurricane to spin up off Mexico on a near perfect track ala Marie. Few waves produce flyaway kick outs like the Wedge.
I deserve at least a bronze for dodging all the dumb pop-ups on this site.
A bronze whaler …then Chas would all have another shark story and you’d take one for the team Frank…think about it.
Chas would have to flow a LOT of crying Jordy air fresheners a stunt like, that my brother in Christ!
Will the last person to install adblocker please stand up? Oh, it’s you.