"You know it's going great when you've been to the Olympic medical tent more than any of the athletes."

Olympic shortboard surfing has been called off for two days in a row, now, though Teahupo’o’s reputation as “the most dangerous place in the world” has only been burnished during that time. Coverage of the Tahitian mutant has been breathless, in the mainstream media, with descriptors such as “treacherous” being applied. Surfline, typically reserved, has even partaken in horror talk vis a vis “The End of the Road” characterizing it a “uniquely intense surf zone” and “freakish.”

Well deserved and especially in light of NBC correspondent Colin Jost stubbing his toes on the very scary reef and requiring medical attention.

The Saturday Night Live funnyman took to Instagram in order to declare, “I did pretty well until the first wave, and then I ended up standing on the coral reef. Much like the coral reef safety expert, but without coral shoes on. So I got a little scraped up.”

Extremely graphic images shared.

The injury developed an infection, as reef scrapes often do, and surf fans were immediately reminded of former World Surf League CEO Erik Logan who suffered life-threatening scratches gifted from the same nightmare shoal nearly two years ago.

While Logan cried like a baby as WSL deputy commissioner Renato Hickel squirted lime juice on the affected area, Jost seems to be taking his dance with death in comedic stride, informing his audience, “You know it’s going great when you’ve been to the Olympic medical tent more than any of the athletes.”

No word how many times King of Teahupo’o Filipe Toledo (7/28 – 7/29) dawned the aforementioned medical tent’s flap.

The threat to life and limb and digit possibly scaring away those watching at home and dreaming of potentially wrangling a Head Place barrel for themselves.

When competition resumes, the men will be in their quarterfinal round while the women will enter round 3. The Shortboard Surfing waiting period ends in four more days.

I’m sticking with my original prediction of a Joao Chianca gold and Carissa Moore backing up her Tokyo bauble with a Parisien one.

Who you got?

"By sponsoring a water polo team and helping these girls out, this is bigger than me winning a Grammy.”

The Olympics, a once-every-four-year bacchanal wherein run-of-the-mill citizens suddenly become intensely fascinated with obscure sporting competition, is rounding into the second half of its first week and storylines abound at this Paris offering. There was, of course, US women’s gymnastics, billed Team F around and Find Out, putting on a dominant show, Pommel Horse Guy, Australia’s Kaylee McKeown owning backstroke and the rise and fall of the King of Teahupo’o but to name a very few.

US Surfing has not fared as well what with the men’s team dropping out, in its entirety, before the quarters. And, such, must be looking on jealously at the aquatic brothers and sisters on the water polo side which has backing in the form of rap great Flavor Flav.

The founding member of Public Enemy became interested in the women’s side after national team member Maggie Steffens posted to Instagram (RIP) that many in the group work three jobs in order to make their dreams come true.

Flav responded, “AYYY YOOO,,, as a girl dad and supporter of all women’s sports — imma personally sponsor you my girl,,, whatever you need. And imma sponsor the whole team. My manager is in touch with your agent and imma use all my relationships and resources to help all y’all even more. That’s a FLAVOR FLAV promise.”

The hall of fame artist was true to his word and inked a sponsorship deal with both the men’s and women’s sides, inspiring a whole nation. He humbly told the Today Show, “For me doing this, I ain’t gonna lie, to me this is one of the biggest things that I feel that I could have ever done in life, outside of the other accomplishments that I’ve made to music. By sponsoring a water polo team and helping these girls out, this is bigger than me winning a Grammy.”

Powerful.

But who could sponsor the US Men’s Surfing Squad?

Kid Rock?

Bethany Hamilton?

Other?

Suggestions welcome.