“A second cultural revolution over China’s horizon? Hayden Cox the new Chairman Mao?”
A couple of days back, news that you could pick up a Hayden Shapes Hypto-Krypto soft-board direct from China for seventy bucks, or thirty-five apiece, if you ordered 100 of ‘em.
The Hypto-Krypto model, as mentioned in that story, is a spruced-up seventies style design that is more fun that the vigorous operation of your sex glands, and still one of the best selling surfboards of all time.
Craig Anderson famously rode a five-four version in ten-foot barrels in the Ments a while back.
As your old pal DR recuperates after invasive surgery, it is a red five-nine HK twin that has daddy back on his feet, hiding all of its forgiving traits in a forward wide point and generously unbent rocker. Hayden Cox is in demand worldwide for he has the ability, like Johnny Cabianca and Matt Biolos, to blend a healthy width and thickness into a surfboard that is as irresistible as a college girl with a small red mouth and an Orgasms For Sale button affixed to her chest.
Perhaps you’ll remember my rapture when I first visited his headquarters on Sydney’s northern beaches. What a thrill it was to see a joint free from the ravages of hipster cliché. There was no wood, no pendant lighting, nothing vintage. No motorcycles or coffee machines.
Instead, wall-to-wall polished concrete with an asymmetrical counter of fabricated concrete shadowed by a large screen built into the wall showing black-and-white surf films of empty waves and occasionally Craig Anderson. Surfboards of matte and polished black, and white, hung from bespoke clothing racks.
“A second cultural revolution over China’s horizon?” wrote Smith. “Hayden Cox the new Chairman Mao?”
Very sadly, no.
A message sent to Cox’s marketing whiz wife Danielle Cox, née Foote, was met with the reply that it was an act of piracy, although not of the glamorous Jack Sparrow sort.
“We don’t sell on Alibaba and don’t produce boards or soft-boards through this manufacturer. Fakes,” she wrote. “There’s been way worse ones than Alibaba! There was an entire fake HS site a few months ago that everyone kept sending us. It’s rife out there!”
Hayden has been knocking off his own boards in china for a decade or 2. Those are not fakes. Probably being made by whoever Hayden had making them for him. Thats what you get for bringing your IP to China. As the Chinese always say in the end. “FucK you, OkAY”…
Coming to a Costco near you….move over Gerry….
I have seen all the SITD’s and his boards always look like shit. They aren’t getting my $35.
Haha yeah just like Ando nursing a dog board at sketchy Kandui, nailed a shot for the ages. Admittedly I got every six foot bomb directly and I mean directly on the head, no matter where I paddled. It was really quite incredible. And it was a borrowed board so I couldn’t bail! Fucken rocked me. France is delightfully weird.
Xox
true friends don’t bail with borrowed boards
hahahahahahahar – suck shit yuppie cunts.
You’ve been creaming supernormal profits ripping off the surf industry for years and now you’re getting ripped.
Cry is free arseholes. Hahahahahar
OK, now I can sleep again.
I swear that one day i saw a young asian gentleman entering the lineup at manu bay with a surfboard that had fin boxes at both ends. 3 in the right place and a single box at the front. it must have been some kind of ali baba thing. it was not shaped to be ridden either way and young mate had never seen the ocean before by the looks, let alone surfed. kick myself to this day for not getting a pic.
4th paragraph, why you tune in.
“generously unbent”
pulitzer level stuff – although I do wonder what parts of DR were subject to this ‘invasive’ procedure
Glad to hear you’re enjoying the HK 5’9. The 5’6 has been treating me well for years – so light and fast in small waves, especially when set up as a quad… I don’t want to love Madam Hypto because so many others have loved her before and after me, but I cannot help it
I had one for years until I buckled it. They are great boards, just out of fashion. I see people ripping on them and kooking on them often.
“as irresistible as a college girl with a small red mouth and an Orgasms For Sale button affixed to her chest.”
That’s not merely a “college girl.” That’s a beautiful,
empowered, trans woman you are describing.
How can I upvote this twice lol
Worst surf of my life at huge La Grav on one of these cuntish monstrosities.
Xox
You rode a Chinese communist at La Grav?
Even worse, the real deal.
Xox