Move over, Gaza.

Teahupo’o, the Place of Skulls, or Head Place (per Kaipo Guerrero’s Almanac of Folk Linguistics) has had quite a coming out party on the world stage. Long known to surf fans as a dynamic mettle tester, the larger Olympic audience is now gasping at her terrifying beauty and pushing superlatives to the max.

As Paris Games got underway, Teahupo’o was billed as “the most dangerous Olympic venue.” Even Surfline getting caught up in the momentum, crowed, “This uniquely intense surf zone owes much of its freakish form to an equally unique bottom contour, a dramatic shift from deeps to shallows. Layer in South Pacific swell sources and winds, and you have a wave worthy of any surfer’s dreams — and nightmares.”

Well. Today, the “most dangerous Olympic venue” has been elevated to “the most dangerous place in the world,” shoving Gaza, Venezuela, Ukraine, Southern Sudan and Amarillo’s Big Texan Steak Ranch to the corner, after Australia’s Jack Robinson declared he almost drowned in his Day Three heat against John John Florence.

Speaking to the gathered press, Robinson gamely shared, “I got dragged over the bottom and almost had a two wave hold under,” after a horror wipeout. “I didn’t get much air. There wasn’t much time. I got reminded of so many guys who have had so many bad wipe-outs here. I have had some pretty bad (wipe-outs) but in a contest it’s different. You have way more adrenaline and there is way more on the line. (Paddling back out was) a test of physicality and spirit.”

The Western Australian further explained, “Every other sport is in a court or a stadium. We are in an ocean. It is the biggest, most powerful source of life we have on this planet. The waves are so powerful. It doesn’t relate to any other sport. Maybe an avalanche coming down on your head on a mountain. Maybe it’s similar to that. It’s so dangerous and so crazy.”

Beirut’s southern suburbs no match.

"It’s not really a surf photograph so it captures the attention of more people.”

Surfing’s initial Olympic offering, after being included in the 2021 nee 2020 Tokyo Games, was, and always would have been silly (save a wild typhoon). Japan, for all its magic, is not a known wave banger. And, so, surf fans and surfers alike were thrilled when Paris announced it would contest its 2024 Olympics 10,000 miles away from the City of Love all the way at Tahiti’s End of the Road.

Teahupo’o.

As soon it was announced, surf fans were both thrilled but worried. Would Head Place turn on or would nature not cooperate thus creating another li’l flippy few days of mediocre surf absolutely non-understandable to the family watching in Dubuque.

A suspect forecast leading up to the waiting period had the aforementioned (surf fans, not Dubuque family) maybe sad.

But nature is an unpredictable beast and roared to life creating one of the best days of competitive surfing in memory/history.

Thus birthing “the image of the Games.”

The Frenchman Jérôme Brouillet, who has called Tahiti home for the past li’l while took the image off a boat in the channel declared, “So he [Medina] is at the back of the wave and I can’t see him and then he pops up and I took four pictures and one of them was this one. It was not hard to take the picture. It was more about anticipating the moment and where Gabriel will kick off the wave.”

As a true surfer, added, “It’s very cool, it’s a nice shot and lots of people love it. It’s not really a surf photograph so it captures the attention of more people.”

Knowing, very well, that our Pastime of Kings is an acquired taste.

Bravo, anyhow, to Medina who absolutely deserves to be the face of these Olympics and Brouillet who made art.

A second cultural revolution on the way?

The biggest surprise of these Teahupo’o Olympics, aside from Filipe Toledo’s masterful 9.67, is China’s Siqi Yang. The pint-sized former wrestler, who hails from China, had never surfed Teahupo’o before her Olympic debut and the prudent thing would have been to doubt, Yang fearlessly sent it, cementing her place as the hero of her nation and possible the entire Games.

JP Currie wrote Yang attacked Teahupo’o’s “critical four-foot walls with a backhand that belongs at the highest level of women’s surfing, and certainly leagues ahead of two-time world champion, Tyler Wright.”

High praise from one of our world’s most important critics.

It would come as zero surprise if Yang’s epic show ignited a surfing passion amongst China’s billion-plus population. The biggest boom ever and one man, “the world’s most beautiful surfboard shaper,” will be there for the moment.

Cox, of course, burst onto the scene with his Hypto-Krypto model described by Derek Rielly as “a spruced-up seventies style design that was more fun that the vigorous operation of your sex glands,” and likely the biggest-selling surfboard model in the world.

Small ‘taters, though, with his new soft tops being offered on Alibaba, China’s Amazon, for $70 each or, $35 each when 100 are dropped into the basket.

Discount-minded surfers shrieking.

The accompanying video features a factory buzzing with workers glassing, finishing, etc. while an overseer in a mask makes sure they keep on task.

Dimensions are not given. There is one type of product listed as “surfboard” but 100 “surfboards” at $35 each should not be looked at in the mouth.

A second cultural revolution over China’s horizon?

Hayden Cox the new Chairman Mao?

Exciting days.