US Surfing looks on jealously as Flavor Flav sponsors Olympic water polo

"By sponsoring a water polo team and helping these girls out, this is bigger than me winning a Grammy.”

The Olympics, a once-every-four-year bacchanal wherein run-of-the-mill citizens suddenly become intensely fascinated with obscure sporting competition, is rounding into the second half of its first week and storylines abound at this Paris offering. There was, of course, US women’s gymnastics, billed Team F around and Find Out, putting on a dominant show, Pommel Horse Guy, Australia’s Kaylee McKeown owning backstroke and the rise and fall of the King of Teahupo’o but to name a very few.

US Surfing has not fared as well what with the men’s team dropping out, in its entirety, before the quarters. And, such, must be looking on jealously at the aquatic brothers and sisters on the water polo side which has backing in the form of rap great Flavor Flav.

The founding member of Public Enemy became interested in the women’s side after national team member Maggie Steffens posted to Instagram (RIP) that many in the group work three jobs in order to make their dreams come true.

Flav responded, “AYYY YOOO,,, as a girl dad and supporter of all women’s sports — imma personally sponsor you my girl,,, whatever you need. And imma sponsor the whole team. My manager is in touch with your agent and imma use all my relationships and resources to help all y’all even more. That’s a FLAVOR FLAV promise.”

The hall of fame artist was true to his word and inked a sponsorship deal with both the men’s and women’s sides, inspiring a whole nation. He humbly told the Today Show, “For me doing this, I ain’t gonna lie, to me this is one of the biggest things that I feel that I could have ever done in life, outside of the other accomplishments that I’ve made to music. By sponsoring a water polo team and helping these girls out, this is bigger than me winning a Grammy.”

Powerful.

But who could sponsor the US Men’s Surfing Squad?

Kid Rock?

Bethany Hamilton?

Other?

Suggestions welcome.