"By sponsoring a water polo team and helping these girls out, this is bigger than me winning a Grammy.”

The Olympics, a once-every-four-year bacchanal wherein run-of-the-mill citizens suddenly become intensely fascinated with obscure sporting competition, is rounding into the second half of its first week and storylines abound at this Paris offering. There was, of course, US women’s gymnastics, billed Team F around and Find Out, putting on a dominant show, Pommel Horse Guy, Australia’s Kaylee McKeown owning backstroke and the rise and fall of the King of Teahupo’o but to name a very few.

US Surfing has not fared as well what with the men’s team dropping out, in its entirety, before the quarters. And, such, must be looking on jealously at the aquatic brothers and sisters on the water polo side which has backing in the form of rap great Flavor Flav.

The founding member of Public Enemy became interested in the women’s side after national team member Maggie Steffens posted to Instagram (RIP) that many in the group work three jobs in order to make their dreams come true.

Flav responded, “AYYY YOOO,,, as a girl dad and supporter of all women’s sports — imma personally sponsor you my girl,,, whatever you need. And imma sponsor the whole team. My manager is in touch with your agent and imma use all my relationships and resources to help all y’all even more. That’s a FLAVOR FLAV promise.”

The hall of fame artist was true to his word and inked a sponsorship deal with both the men’s and women’s sides, inspiring a whole nation. He humbly told the Today Show, “For me doing this, I ain’t gonna lie, to me this is one of the biggest things that I feel that I could have ever done in life, outside of the other accomplishments that I’ve made to music. By sponsoring a water polo team and helping these girls out, this is bigger than me winning a Grammy.”

Powerful.

But who could sponsor the US Men’s Surfing Squad?

Kid Rock?

Bethany Hamilton?

Other?

Suggestions welcome.

Move over, Gaza.

Teahupo’o, the Place of Skulls, or Head Place (per Kaipo Guerrero’s Almanac of Folk Linguistics) has had quite a coming out party on the world stage. Long known to surf fans as a dynamic mettle tester, the larger Olympic audience is now gasping at her terrifying beauty and pushing superlatives to the max.

As Paris Games got underway, Teahupo’o was billed as “the most dangerous Olympic venue.” Even Surfline getting caught up in the momentum, crowed, “This uniquely intense surf zone owes much of its freakish form to an equally unique bottom contour, a dramatic shift from deeps to shallows. Layer in South Pacific swell sources and winds, and you have a wave worthy of any surfer’s dreams — and nightmares.”

Well. Today, the “most dangerous Olympic venue” has been elevated to “the most dangerous place in the world,” shoving Gaza, Venezuela, Ukraine, Southern Sudan and Amarillo’s Big Texan Steak Ranch to the corner, after Australia’s Jack Robinson declared he almost drowned in his Day Three heat against John John Florence.

Speaking to the gathered press, Robinson gamely shared, “I got dragged over the bottom and almost had a two wave hold under,” after a horror wipeout. “I didn’t get much air. There wasn’t much time. I got reminded of so many guys who have had so many bad wipe-outs here. I have had some pretty bad (wipe-outs) but in a contest it’s different. You have way more adrenaline and there is way more on the line. (Paddling back out was) a test of physicality and spirit.”

The Western Australian further explained, “Every other sport is in a court or a stadium. We are in an ocean. It is the biggest, most powerful source of life we have on this planet. The waves are so powerful. It doesn’t relate to any other sport. Maybe an avalanche coming down on your head on a mountain. Maybe it’s similar to that. It’s so dangerous and so crazy.”

Beirut’s southern suburbs no match.

"It’s not really a surf photograph so it captures the attention of more people.”

Surfing’s initial Olympic offering, after being included in the 2021 nee 2020 Tokyo Games, was, and always would have been silly (save a wild typhoon). Japan, for all its magic, is not a known wave banger. And, so, surf fans and surfers alike were thrilled when Paris announced it would contest its 2024 Olympics 10,000 miles away from the City of Love all the way at Tahiti’s End of the Road.

Teahupo’o.

As soon it was announced, surf fans were both thrilled but worried. Would Head Place turn on or would nature not cooperate thus creating another li’l flippy few days of mediocre surf absolutely non-understandable to the family watching in Dubuque.

A suspect forecast leading up to the waiting period had the aforementioned (surf fans, not Dubuque family) maybe sad.

But nature is an unpredictable beast and roared to life creating one of the best days of competitive surfing in memory/history.

Thus birthing “the image of the Games.”

The Frenchman Jérôme Brouillet, who has called Tahiti home for the past li’l while took the image off a boat in the channel declared, “So he [Medina] is at the back of the wave and I can’t see him and then he pops up and I took four pictures and one of them was this one. It was not hard to take the picture. It was more about anticipating the moment and where Gabriel will kick off the wave.”

As a true surfer, added, “It’s very cool, it’s a nice shot and lots of people love it. It’s not really a surf photograph so it captures the attention of more people.”

Knowing, very well, that our Pastime of Kings is an acquired taste.

Bravo, anyhow, to Medina who absolutely deserves to be the face of these Olympics and Brouillet who made art.