Chas Smith remembers Filipe Toledo’s 16-hour reign as King of Teahupoo

You'll remember him. You'll remember Filipe Toledo like we here in Paris remember Marie Antoinette.

Paris is in mourning today. Mourning the loss of a king.

Two days ago, Filipe Toledo was crowned King of Teahupoo after the magnificent wrangling of a barrel. A 9.67 ride quickly claimed as “the single greatest moment in surfing.”

The reign of House Toledo was supposed to last for generations, eons, longer than you or I.

Alas, as things happen, especially in Paris, it was short-lived.

But, Filipe Toledo be remembered fondly for the 16 proud and buoyant hours that he ruled as the King of Teahupoo.

But again, it was short, for yesterday Filipe Toledo paddled out at Teahupoo that had become burly and woolly, that had become menacing and mean and Filipe was sent home.

Fondly, we will sing songs to House Toledo and its rule.

You’ll remember him. You’ll remember him like we here in Paris remember Marie Antoinette.

A beautiful, beautiful boy, brought low before his time.

A sad day. A sad day.

Chas Smith remembers Filipe Toledo's 16-hour reign as King of Teahupoo
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primera calidad
primera calidad
2 years ago

When Felipe scores 9+ on that wave. DEI scoring is in effect.

Picard Madeoff
Picard Madeoff
2 years ago

Love her her voice! I can play Fenme Fatale on repeat for an hour

pipspuss
pipspuss
2 years ago

As always a great piece. You’re looking like a French version of Miami Vice in those threads.

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
2 years ago

just watched the video……very funny.

“you’ll remember him young man”. classic improv.

Brutus
Brutus
2 years ago

ah better to have been King for a day , than a sad mad glad bad cad Dad not rad or had Lad?

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
2 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Touche, you wicked man.

Chief Hot stuff
Chief Hot stuff
2 years ago

Urbn surf sydney closed.
dudes dead

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago

olympic cliff diving…no bungy…portlandia…

4Oceans
4Oceans
2 years ago

Nod to Rico: never argue with anyone who buys their ink by the barrel. Just saying.

tim_nelsen
tim_nelsen
2 years ago
Reply to  4Oceans

talk’s cheap takes money to buy whiskey. thames river wine. sauza by the river…let’s launch the gondola!

4Oceans
4Oceans
2 years ago

A parade in san clemente for Grif I assume. Is Pip’s parade in Santa Ana or Berdoo?

mike m
mike m
2 years ago
Reply to  4Oceans

Lemoore

Surf Coach/Great Human
Surf Coach/Great Human
2 years ago

Just saw it. I know the Olympics love sticking to their schedule but running would’ve been a minor miracle.

Working Class Hero
Working Class Hero
2 years ago

How was Pip taking a coffee break during that heat he got eliminated in!? Lol, he seemed relieved to be heading back to San Clemente.

Surf Coach/Great Human
Surf Coach/Great Human
2 years ago

Yeah times winding down and buddy gets dropped off in the channel after getting tossed and instead of immediately paddling back out he has a yarn with his caddy while fucking about with his helmet lol. He’s gotta get with daddy Ricardo on deploying a less conspicuous way to chew up the clock next time.

pipspuss
pipspuss
2 years ago

“You nailed that like a split hog”

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
2 years ago

I really hope it’s Charlies wife not his daughter filming these.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
2 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

It absolutely has to be a dapper sad looking French director man down on his luck smoking a cigarette and holding an iPhone.
Xox

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
2 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

What manner of dubious act is Chas having to perform to reciprocate?

Brutus
Brutus
2 years ago
Reply to  Occ Topus

beach slapped and banned by the House of Toledo?

Occ Topus
Occ Topus
2 years ago
Reply to  Brutus

Also whacked by the IG ban hammer. It’s a start.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
2 years ago
Reply to  Dogsnuts

And wearing fabulous Persol’s with blue lens.

Dogsnuts
Dogsnuts
2 years ago

One singular lens! He really is down on his luck! Sacre bleu!
Xox

janeausten
janeausten
2 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

fuck, what was worse, watching that stuttering garble from Chas or Felipe robbing me via sportsbet of a hundred hard earned AUD?

bob
bob
2 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

If you put a hundred on Pip to win a comp at chopes you deserve to lose it.

janeausten
janeausten
2 years ago
Reply to  bob

Bob, you are right and I am duly chastised, but it was 51:1, and the forecast was for slop when I placed it.

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
2 years ago
Reply to  janeausten

A hundred on Pup to win gold at Chopes?!? Lol

janeausten
janeausten
2 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

yes, duly noted and chastened.

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
2 years ago

Touché

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
2 years ago

Fuck he walked into that one!

Pauly Matt War-Shore
Pauly Matt War-Shore
2 years ago
Reply to  NEGATRON

Rekt

NEGATRON
NEGATRON
2 years ago

The old yo Momma basement internet hero gag gets me every time.

Surf Coach/Great Human
Surf Coach/Great Human
2 years ago

Looks like the shit is back on today. Appears the men will be rolled out at 10am and the women at 3pm. If I remember right a massive swell peaks today but does so under dogshit winds. Current report is 12-15ft. Wild if it’s actually on

Rich Marx
Rich Marx
2 years ago

Windy is showing a 10-20 kt onshore wind.

Surf Coach/Great Human
Surf Coach/Great Human
2 years ago
Reply to  Rich Marx

Yeah, I don’t get it. Now it seems the men are off and the women will be going out at 3pm. Olympic site says “very likely” to continue event today.

Da Bobes
Da Bobes
2 years ago

Felipe “Code Green” Toledo

Beef & Beer
Beef & Beer
2 years ago
Reply to  Da Bobes

If it’s over 4ft it’s all CODE BROWN to Pip…

Stick man
Stick man
2 years ago

Who?

Corey Webster
Corey Webster
2 years ago

There’s real emotion in this “Chas Hates Surfing”, even that last one. Which kind of warms my heart. Cuz it’s clear Chas loves surfing too. Yes he has earned the right to hate it. Idealizing it from the mire of cold rainy Oregon, only to find himself shackled to SoCals dystopian surf façade via a job. But this feud with House Toledo (and all the rest of Chas’s feuds and battles in surfing’s many kingdoms) reveals he still believes in youthful ideals.

I don’t know what it’s like to sacrifice an Instagram account with a battalions worth of followers. The thought of building one sounds like hell to me. So losing that seems more like a blessing than a curse. But I kind of get it now. The battles Chas loves to fight, need at least an audience to truly make a narrative stand. Especially when going against a banner like House Toledo. But that being said, a feud is a feud, and they have an army of trolls and media power too. So dirty or not it seems like it’s all part of the game.

Regardless, this is all very entertaining. Especially considering there are only 8 episodes of House of the Dragon this season (and MAX is shelving other GOT shows). So I’m glad that surfing media and culture has a rogue Knight taking swings, shuving it, even taking slaps to push surfings dark corners into the light. Good stuff.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
2 years ago
Reply to  Corey Webster

And second account lost to mass complaining. Had 300k on Reports from Hell.

Michael Flatlately
Michael Flatlately
2 years ago

Admittedly Reports from Hell was America’s Funniest Semi-Surf-Adjacent Home Videos. Thousands of likes, then 25 odd on the BeachGrit posts.

Hughe Johnson
Hughe Johnson
2 years ago
Surf Coach/Great Human
Surf Coach/Great Human
2 years ago
Reply to  Hughe Johnson
mike m
mike m
2 years ago

C’est parfait.

The Bitchy Crab
The Bitchy Crab
2 years ago
Reply to  mike m

Exactement!

Sit down to pee
Sit down to pee
2 years ago
Reply to  Hughe Johnson

Looks remarkably like Jonah Hill

Happy Camper
Happy Camper
2 years ago

anti-smite-metic

Nikola
Nikola
2 years ago

Let’s not forget the 25 IG video postings of Filipe’s wave from all angles, gnarly face often included, during those infamous 11 hours. His PR agency was on fire!

Then it all went down in flames like cheap, fake Chinese silk lit with a match.

MyGFsChinese
MyGFsChinese
2 years ago
Reply to  Nikola

Exactly!! I think Currie alluded to that embarrassment as well in his post. House Toledo needs to hire a new social media czar, because the current one only serves to make him look worse.

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago

His Kingdom was short lived but not forgotten. https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

JohnsKnees
JohnsKnees
2 years ago

New Queen of France…… Chasinette….Don’t get beheaded by the Brazos while youre out there.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…


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