Only days after being feted by Kim Kardashian and Ivanka Trump, Raimana Van Bastolaer saves a child being strangled by his own legrope!
The world stood still three years ago, you’ll remember, when the eighties supermodel Cindy Crawford described Surf Ranch’s longstanding in situ surf coach Raimana Van Bastolaer, as the human equivalent of Viagra, telling her millions of followers,
“I call him the big blue pill. He can get anyone up. Even me!”
A roll call of celebs, including NY designer Donna Karan, supermodels Carolyn Murphy and Christine Brinkley, joined in in the comments, thrilling to the ride and to human hard-on Raimana Van Bastolaer.
Viagra is a medication used to make even the friendliest pink cock a fire engine red and tending to purple, a mutant device able to tear a hole in the fabric of the universe.
Now, and only days after being feted by Kim Kardashian and Ivanka Trump, Raimana, who is forty-nine although his timeless island beauty means he could pass for twenty-five, has released a reel where, oh, it’s almost to complicated to explain.
But, here’s the gist.
A little boy becomes tangled up in his legrope following a collision with another surfer at Surf Ranch. Raimana, who was raised by his grandparents at a black sand beachbreak north of Teahupoo but who would soon become known for taming that famous wave’s wildest swells, is able to not only save the boy from strangulation, but retrieve the kid, his board, unravel him from his legrope, get him back on his surfboard, steady the kid until he’s able to stand and then…well… you try and stop from hooting and weeping.
At last play. an extraordinary 6,000 people had passed comment on the reel.
“That one act could completely change the perception that this young ripper has on wave riding,” writes bodyboarding and bodysurfing god Mike Stewart
The famous jiujitsu expert Renee Gracie writes simply, “GOAT.”
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It was the leash he could do!
Raimana seems like he’d be one of the least likely guys to break through the algorithmic surf ghetto into mass virality but he’s better and more consistent at that than pretty much everyone.
Fuckin Kelly, giving all the prominent unkos of premier tropical death slabs freebies at his Leemore wave pond. That’s one way to ensure you remain at the top of lineup pecking order
Whatever it is they’re not paying him enough. Raimana is a viral content machine. Also is apparently very good giving people the experience of flying down the line on a wave, which is exactly why people pay to go there.
As far a tropical island heavies go, he’s definitely the unk of choice. Raimana will help get you flying down the line, rather than staring down at lines.
Wondwe how much pressure he is under by corporate bean counters not to waste waves..
Probably the same amount as anybody else at their job, to do the job to the best of their ability;,and to try to continue to get even better
Is there a good version ?
Where Kellys Uncle Ray doesn’t save the kid…
Viagra Trumps flaccid nepo cock block click bait slave trade colonial beauty spot
“Viagra is a medication used to make even the friendliest pink cock a fire engine red and tending to purple, a mutant device able to tear a hole in the fabric of the universe.”
This one sentence could possibly be the best you’ve ever written.
TOO GOOD
Viagra needs to hire you to write their copy.
Ain’t that just the epitome of natural selection.
How’d you die, kid?
Strangled by legrope at a wavepool in Lemoore.
You there on a WSL Shaper Rankings winner junket?
Nah, pops flew us in on the Falcon X8 and paid $50k to watch me drown from Kelly’s hot tub.
You mean drove you there in a Ford Falcon XR8?
Nah, it’s his private jet.
Righto, cunt.
When you get so fat you cant see your own dick anymore, even with viagra.
Who’s the dude that dropped in and launched their board into the kid’s ankles? Is a castration in order so he can never get up again?
his dad.
You gonna be on Instagram KID!
Thank goodness the drone pilot captured this privileged child’s rescue from some kook’s board on an artificial wave so it could be diseminated on a soul sucking advertising platform
Touché!
Ssap Grit
Instagrit