Barbarian days.
It is officially September first, in Southern California, and the ocean is flat. It is generally good, this time of year, or getting good with summer crowds sent off and hemispheric storms pushing swell toward the Golden State’s bottom third.
Malibu’s iconic First Point currently a sickening 0 – 1 ft, and yet the sand is a’ bustle with surfers waxing boards, un-coiling leashes, pretending to gaze over the horizon, looking for “waves,” making surf talk with others pretending to gaze over the horizon looking for “waves.”
In truth, these derelicts are hoping to catch a glimpse of the Dutch-Palestinian supermodel Bella Hadid who has been prancing on the shore wearing what Page Six described as a “a skin-colored triangle top and matching side-tie bottom.”
Other sources characterized it as “nude.”
But do you recall the wayback times when surf competitions were accompanied by bikini contests?
Did you participate in that baldfaced sexism, standing in the audience with a cold Bud Light, hooting, whistling, drooling as teenaged girls trotted across stage for the viewing pleasure of boozed adult men?
Hadid, in any case, was with friends, her cow poke boyfriend Adan Banuelos nowhere to be seen giving the aforementioned surfers some faint hope that they would be noticed. Alas, it appears they were not.
Happy Labor Day.