"It could have been lights out. Instead, I never lost consciousness during the intense collision, slow agonizing moments which followed on the road, chaotic ambulance ride to the emergency room, extensive full body X-rays, or confusing time before being rolled into the operating room for anesthesia and ultimately another chance."

Beloved surfer-writer-broadcaster Jesse Faen reveals extent of gruesome injuries after near-fatal motorcycle crash

By Derek Rielly

3 months ago

"My right kneecap was shattered into 15 pieces and lost most of its protective skin. Right elbow and forearm got totally smashed, with multiple bones snapping through my flesh."

Eight days ago, one of the better men in the game, surfer-writer-broadcaster Jesse Faen, was critically injured when his motorcycle collided with a car doin’ a U-turn on Lincoln Boulevard, an eight-mile cord of bitumen near Santa Monica Bay in Los Angeles County.

It was the morning of his fiftieth birthday party, so hell of a time to get thrown into intensive care when there’s a table groaning under the weight of vodka High Noons.

“He was immediately rushed to the hospital and soon after in the operating room for 11 hours reconstructing his leg and both arms,” Jesse’s baby mama Jessie Samedi wrote in a post. ” It went well as he had an amazing team of doctors and seems there will be more operations and procedures in his near future.”

Today, Jesse gave an update on his condition. It ain’t pretty.

Hey all, been laying in this bed for 8 days now, after a near fatal motorcycle accident with my mate @alwider and just wanted to keep things real. It’s been tough.

Grateful to be alive, in the of care of incredible surgeons, nurses and hospital staff at UCLA, and have escaped so many heavier, almost expected outcomes. It could have been lights out. Instead, I never lost consciousness during the intense collision, slow agonizing moments which followed on the road, chaotic ambulance ride to the emergency room, extensive full body X-rays, or confusing time before being rolled into the operating room for anesthesia and ultimately another chance. My right kneecap was shattered into 15 pieces and lost most of its protective skin. Right elbow and forearm got totally smashed, with multiple bones snapping through my flesh. Left wrist also felt the brunt, breaking in numerous places and needed reconstructive surgery for nerves and ligaments. Then there’s the huge muscular bruises and little cuts and scraps… more will be revealed.

Alain flew over the top of me and the driver who hit us, avoiding a similar impact thankfully, but still fractured 10 ribs and has more than his fair share of pain and hurdles to handle.
Want to thank @avawar for so much. Showing up and staying at the hospital day one, during some of the most painful moments and unknown fears. For taking Al under her wing at home, ensuring he’s as comfortable as possible during this ordeal… and basically doing her best to deal with way too many details and emotional matters.

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The surf world lit up Jesse’s IG.

Ozzie Wright: Love you so much Jesse praying for you and Al ,what a nightmare I know your strength is so big that you will be shredding the ocean with your magical style in all kinds of disciplines before you know it, and being the best Dad ever !!!

PM Tenore: blessings your still on this side of the dirt – sending love and endless healing jesse – stay strong ❤️ —>

Barton Lynch: Mate Fark that is horrible to hear, I lost my father in a motorcycle accident so feeling it and sending you all our healing energy for a complete recovery.

Dominic Purcell: I stole the pretzels and chocolates from ya hospital ward……The uncles got gypsy, we’ll get her out in the water. Rest up.

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Who you gonna trust? Bear Jew Biolos or lock-em-up Newsom?

Gavin Newsom-hating, Commie-bating Matt Biolos crowned best surfboard shaper in the world for second year running!

By Derek Rielly

3 months ago

Matt Biolos is a man of integrity whose surfboards are a work of master craft, the attack and the interlock of each board unparalleled in the game

Four years ago, as the world reeled from a mysterious virus that had leaked out of a US-funded lab in China. beaches were closed, as was all commerce, and people were locked inside their hovels with threat of jail and wildly punitive fines if they tried to get a little sand between their toes or refused an experimental, and occasionally fatal, vaccine.

San Clemente’s shaper to the stars, Matt Biolo was one of the few who refused to goose-step in line with California’s extreme-left governor Gavin Newsom.

And when Newsom, who virtually cuckolded our own Chas Smith in a horror cafe date some years ago and which sent our man down a rabbit hole of weightlifting and calisthenics, sent our promo video to excite fans for Finals Day at Biolos’ home break Lowers, “Bear Jew” Biolos shucked all politesse.

“I think you all know this better than I do. Surfing is California’s state sport. And while no one… no-one… controls the ocean, it looks like she’s delivered,” says Newsom, apparently unaware he was burying himself under a tsunami of irony.

“What a two-faced pile of shit,” thundered Biolos. “Two years ago, YOU CLOSED OUR ACCESS TO OUR OCEANS! Come on @WSL. Keep the creepy, lying, two-faced fascist politicians out of surfing!”

Anyway, Matt Biolos is a man of integrity whose surfboards are a work of master craft, the attack and the interlock of each board unparalleled in the game with, perhaps, only the exception of the Basque-based Brazilian shaper Johnny Cabianca.

If you follow the fringe professional surfing movement, as administered by a group called the World Surf League, you’ll know that the best in the game all ride Biolos’ …Lost surfboards.

Biolos’ riders on the CT include Olympic gold medallist Caroline Marks and Canadian teen sensation Erin Brooks, who just won the Fiji Pro as a wildcard, world number two Griffin Colapinto, world #6 Yago Dora, rookie of the year Crosby Colapinto and Bells champ Cole Houshmand.

Also, Carissa Moore, Mason Ho etc etc etc.

Unsurprisingly, for the second year in a row, Biolos’ …Lost surfboards have won the Vissla CT shaper rankings.

Sharp Eye fell a distant second, Pyzel, Channel Islands and DHD mopping up the lower rungs.

The winning team is a gifted a day at Surf Ranch.

Last year Biolos booked an extra day and opened the gate to all of his sixty employees.

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Old-timey San Onofre.

So-Cal’s old-timey surfing community rejoices after beloved San Onofre saved from erasure at last second!

By Chas Smith

3 months ago

Moondiggity-dog!

Alarm had transitioned to sheer panic in Southern California’s old-timey surfing community in recent weeks. San Onofre, you see, the iconic longerboard wave just south of San Clemente was set to be shuttered from their cross-stepping ways. That land is owned by the United States Navy and the Marine Corp base of Camp Pendelton, who had leased it to California’s State Parks for many years. As happens with rents, leases, etc., though, they can expire and this one was set to do just that.

No more hanging ten.

Nor even five.

Well, just as the executioner’s blade was set to drop, a new 20-odd year lease was signed which will kick hysteria down the road until 2049.

Moondiggity-dog.

California Natural Resources Secretary Wade Crowfoot gushed, “San Onofre State Beach is a gem within our state parks system, a beloved beach with world-class surf breaks. We’re very glad that this new lease with the Navy ensures that the state beach continues for everyone’s enjoyment in decades to come. We’re thankful to the Navy and Marine Corps for their close partnership making this possible and are proud to support Camp Pendleton and military installations across California as they advance our vital national defense mission.”

Winking at the shoutout, ,” Brig. Gen. Nick I. Brown, commanding general of Marine Corps Installations West at Marine Corps Base Camp Pendleton, responded, “The renewal of the lease for the San Onofre State Beach represents our continued commitment to our community and to the preservation of natural beauty and cultural heritage of the region. Our partnership with California State Parks enhances recreational opportunities for our community and strengthens our shared dedication to environmental stewardship and responsible land management.”

Rep. Mike Levin, D-Dana Point, wanting to get some shine, added, “I’m elated that we’ve reached a new long-term lease agreement that ensures Orange and San Diego County residents can continue to access and enjoy this beach and surf spot for years to come. This new lease agreement is a win for the millions of annual visitors, for our military, for our environment, and for our community.”

And for old-timey surfers.

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"Jesse was hit on his motorcycle by a car doing an illegal U-turn on Lincoln Boulevard last Saturday the morning of his 50th birthday party."

Beloved surfer-writer-broadcaster Jesse Faen critically injured in motorcycle accident

By Derek Rielly

3 months ago

"He was rushed to hospital and was in the operating room for 11 hours reconstructing his leg and both arms."

The Narrabeen-born surfer, Jesse Faen, magazine editor, WSL broadcaster, peer and best friends with Ozzie Wright and Vaughan Blakey, has been critically injured in a motorcycle accident on the morning of his fiftieth birthday.

In a message posted to Instagram by the mama of his kid Gypsy, Jessie Samedi, she wrote:

Jesse was hit on his motorcycle by a car doing an illegal U-turn on Lincoln Boulevard last Saturday the morning of his 50th birthday party. He was immediately rushed to the hospital and soon after in the operating room for 11 hours reconstructing his leg and both arms. It went well as he had an amazing team of doctors and seems there will be more operations and procedures in his near future.

So far the goal has been keeping him comfortable and trying to get as much rest as possible. He’s currently at UCLA Westwood and will be for the foreseeable future and then transferred to a skilled nursing facility where he’ll start his rehabilitation. This will absolutely be a marathon for Jesse. We so grateful to say the least as we are lucky he’s he with us still.

Because Jesse has been essentially training his whole life as an athlete – we have faith in his bodies ability to heal, the tenacity and discipline of his mind and comradery and love of his community to get him through this difficult journey. We appreciate all the love and we will soon send out some information on how you can help and contribute support and start visits. For now – sending love, encouragement, insight or any sort of resources that you may think could be useful for his healing would be inspiring and helpful.

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Jesse Faen is one of those wildly rare men who was blessed with the good looks of a model and the surfing ability of a pro, which is usually a cold recipe for disaster but ol Jess balanced his yin with plenty of yang, writing, broadcaster etc.

British surfers fingered as world’s drunkest fliers in damning study

By Chas Smith

3 months ago

An absolute mess.

Surfers are many things, including but not limited to grouchy, possessive, generally incoherent but, above all, we are travelers. Few surfers are fortunate enough to live near world-class waves and so we pack board bags, drive to the airport and fly to surf-rich destinations. The worse the waves at home, the more surfers fly and so it should come as no surprise that Britain has an extremely large contingent of traveling surfers.

It might come as one, though, that they are the drunkest fliers in the world.

A damning new study has found that the top five airlines in the world disrupted by boozers are all Jolly England-based.

The worst is EasyJet followed by Ryanair, British Airways, TUI and Jet 2.

Ryanair’s CEO Michael O’Leary, speaking to the Independent’s travel podcast, declared, “We are seeing record numbers. We and most of the airlines around Europe are seeing a spike upwards, particularly this summer, of disgruntled passengers on board. I think the real challenge is: flight delays are up at a record high this summer, so people are spending time in airports drinking before they board the aircraft.”

Especially surfers.

British surfers.

Sitting at Heathrow’s airport bar, staring at photos of Canggu, drinking a double Hendricks and soda, watching the dreaded “delayed” marker flash next to flight, ordering another double Hendricks and soda.

Eat beach grit spam!