Lisa Andersen, dumped by Roxy, scooped up by Tenore.
Lisa Andersen, dumped by Roxy, scooped up by Pat Tenore.

Lisa Andersen, dumped by Roxy after 30 years, joins Billy Kemper at RVCA offshoot Tenore!

The four-time world champ scooped up by sharpest man in surfing Pat Tenore!

Two months ago, four-time women’s world champ Lisa Andersen was shown the door at Roxy after thirty years service with reclusive former WSL commentator and ’89 world champ Martin Potter breaking his five-year silence to vent his displeasure at the event.

“Pro surfing is dead. So sad,” wrote Pottz.

The almost fifty-five year old Lisa Andersen, who became the face of Roxy in 1993 one year before her four-pack of world titles, posted a video where we saw her peeling a Roxy sticker off her board.

The caption read, “All is good.” 

But was it? 

Shortly after, Lisa Andersen listed a “big part” of her surfboard collection. Andersen was hunting a whale with a brick of cash to buy ‘em all but, if necessity demanded it, admitted she’d negotiate with minnows seeking one or two of her iconic shooters.

Now, money woes might be a thing of the past, after Lisa Andersen apparently signed with Tenore, the hot new brand from RVCA founder Pat Tenore.

Although it’s yet to officially launch, Pat Tenore has been quietly snapping up some of the biggest names in surfing following the fire sales of Billabong, Quiksilver and Hurley and the subsequent dumping of their expensive surf teams. 

Pat Tenore famously sold RVCA to Billabong in 2010 in a total buy-out package worth between thirty-five and forty-five mill and was the first industry figure to recognise the burgeoning growth of mixed martial arts.

In a post to Instagram, Lisa wrote simply, “The next chapter with…(black heart emoji)” while tagging Pat Tenore.

A black heart emoji, of course, signifies strength, power, and mystery. It can be used to convey resilience or as a symbol of mourning, black humour, sorrow and remembrance.


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A post shared by Lisa Andersen (@andersenlisa)

Joel Parkinson in surfing accident at Snapper Rocks
Joel Parkinson, "stuffed" after failure to correctly assess conditions at Snapper Rocks.

Citizen cop Joel Parkinson issues grave warning to surfers after rock jump goes horribly wrong!

"He's stuffed!"

The 2012 world surfing champ Joel Parkinson has issued a grave warning to fellow Gold Coast surfers after a mistimed rock jump that ended with his wedding ring being ripped from his finger and the champ being smashed into a volcanic rock garden.

Joel Parkinson may be better known these days for his hometown policing, his legend cemented after he  tried to stop two TikTokers filming ‘emselves sliding down a muddy hill citing environmental damage and, possibly, excess noise, but his surfing bona fides are still impeccable.

However, even champs like Joel Parkinson can have a bad day, a lapse of judgement. And, at a joint like Snapper Rocks, where the intrepid surfer must dance atop the volcanic outcrops to finally be confronted by a wall of water, one mistake, as they say, and you’re cooked.

Forty-four-year-old Joel Parkinson, whose eyes spark with all their old fire and brightness and who looks younger than his age by a decade at the very least, is forced to abandon his surfboard as waves pummel him across the shelf and into a hole.

“Never underestimate the power of the ocean…even at your local!” writes Joel Parkinson. “All it took was my wedding ring – sorry babe the ocean let me have this one – hopefully you will be as kind!

Fellow Snapper Rocks devotee and three-time world champion Mick Fanning was quick to recognise the severity of the incident.

“Very lucky there mate.”

Two other world surfing champs also weighed in,

“Soo freakin sketch that visit on the rocks!! She is always ready to teach us a lesson…so stoked you pulled it!!! The sigh of relief🙌👏👏👏👏🙌is felt here mate!!” wrote Tom Carroll (world champ 83 and 84)

“Stoked yr ok mate as you know those rocks are fucking sharp you pulled a rabbit out of yr ass on that one,” wrote Gary “Kong” Elkerton, (three-time world masters champ.)


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Charles Leclerc and pals.
Charles Leclerc and pals.

Shock and awe as Monegasque Formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc conquers heavier wave than delicate surf champion Filipe Toledo!

"So good to be back surfing..."

Our favorite pastime spreading far and wide is nothing new. For decades now, outliers see a surf film, or surfers themselves playing the sport of kings off some beach, and think “I want to try.” A glorious cycle though maybe somewhat dulled by today’s ease of entry. Abundant surf schools, squishy soft tops, evaporated rules have, each, left a sort of vacuum where “cool” once hovered, vaguely defined.

All that aside, wonder and amazement spread overnight when images of Formula 1 driver Charles Leclerc began spreading online depicting the 26-year-old Monegasque dropping into a terrifying triple up. A wave that would send shivers into the spines of all but the hardest Shipsterns’ natives. A wave that would current World Surf League champion Filipe Toledo into emotional hospice care.

You, of course, remember when the timid Brazilian failed to paddle at lightly plus-sized Pipeline earlier this year, tantrum’d that he owned nobody nothing then went on a mental health break.

“So good to be back surfing. No photoshop at all in the 2nd picture of course, all talent,” the Team Ferrari driver, anyhow, penned to X.


Now, surfing and Formula 1 are not strange bedfellows. Lewis Hamilton, who now also happens to drive for Ferrari after leaving longtime Mercedes, is a known aficionado even counting father-to-be-again Kelly Slater amongst his best of friends.

As talented as Hamilton may be, his barrel nowhere close to Leclerc’s devil send.

Back to Toledo, though. Do you think he would be equally scared behind the open wheel, zooming this way and that, or do you think he should take his talents elsewhere?

Also, we never got to discuss Hamilton to Ferrari. Are you a yay or nay there? I wish I could spoil his gender reveal but there’s only so much time in the day.

Until next time.

Chas Smith on Kelly Slater becoming a baby daddy at 52!

"Who amongst us could hate the announcement of new life?"

Confirmed bachelor and self-described absentee daddy, Kelly Slater, surprised the surf world yesterday when he announced that his Chinese-American girlfriend was heavy with child.

Rumours had been swirling, as the metaphor goes, for months.

“This whole story is related to your favourite surf website BeachGrit,” says Chas Smith in the latest episode of Chas Smith Hates Surfing. “I had heard from a trusted source that they’d seen Kalani Miller out the front of their house hiding a baby bump. This source was uncertain so I asked another trusted source who confirmed the pregnancy.”

But, here, a dilemma.

“This information came to me weeks ago. But what should I do? Publish this happy news? Break open the story? Or should I allow Kelly Slater and Kalani Miller the chance to do it the way they want to do it?”

Chas Smith chose the latter.

“I wanted to let them to have the opportunity to announce the pregnancy with hands on belly, a happy song, a joyous pronouncement that there will be one more Kelly Slater in the world.”

“Now, adroit surf fans know Kelly Slater is already a father but has admitted to being absentee for much of his daughter’s life. Kelly now has another chance to be a father.”

What kind of daddy is Kelly Slater going to be?

Hands on, hovering, best pals?

And, you, who are already daddies, what advice do you give to Kelly Slater?

Put your answers and advice in the comments.

Slater (pictured) celebrating.
Slater (pictured) celebrating.

“It’s a girl!” Surf champion Kelly Slater to have daughter for second time in legendary career

Pink champagne all around!

We all, today, learned the very important and valuable lesson of preserving the solemnity of significant and personal announcements. Kelly Slater and longtime girlfriend Kalani Miller shared, yesterday, that she was pregnant. Now, I had been told this fact two or three weeks ago but decided to do the right thing and let the happy couple disclose on their own time, in their own way.

That aside, I heard a fresh rumor today from an impeccable source that the bundle of joy is, in fact, a girl.


Slater will now, officially, be a two-time daughter farther. His eldest, 28 and an artist of note. His youngest yet to decide on a career path.

Now, if left to their own devices, how do you think the 11x surf champion and bikini maven Miller would have shared the news? With a gender reveal party, toxic pink smoke or turtle-killing pink balloons let into the air all to the refrain of Jack Johnson’s 2009 standard My Little Girl?

Heaven forbid.

Doing the GOAT a solid here.

He’s welcome.