Who could it possibly be? Help!
I came into the house, last evening, after a run to the grocery store to find my wife watching Ali Wong’s Single Lady comedy special whilst preparing dinner. I have chuckled along with the diminutive Chinese-American-Vietnamese’s brash, often crass, jokes before so paused to listen. She had apparently become divorced, recently, and was strutting around stage in a white, flowing, ankle-length dress spittin’ funnies about dating, sex, etc. when she came to a recent date she had with an unnamed 50-year-old former professional surfer.
My ears perked right up.
She described how they met on a dating application but when he showed up he was clearly 60, not 50, though was apologetic over it. She detailed that he had extremely blue eyes and like surf sleuths everywhere, my mind began racing. 60-year-old former professional surfer with blue eyes. 60-year-old former professional surfer with blue eyes covered in what she called “glaucoma” but was for near certain pterygium.
Kelly Slater is the only name I could conjure but this has to be an easy one, no? 60-year-old former professional surfer living in Southern California with blue eyes and pterygium.
I came up with Jamie Brisick too, actually.
Wait.
Is it actually Brisick?
Whoa!
But you have to be surf sleuthier than me. There are other details in the special, if I recall it comes mid way, and maybe you can watch that bit before Tyson vs. Paul. David Lee Scales and I discussed both cultural events on today’s weekly chat, anyhow, along with stories of Chris Isaak being a core lord and sweat dripping down Mark Zuckerberg’s naughty bits.
What a wicked thing.
Listen here.