Kelly Slater and Tulsi Gabbard
Kelly Slater and Tulsi Gabbard, the meaty bit in a wild US election sandwich.

Surfing community jubilant as Kelly Slater BFF Tulsi Gabbard elevated to head of National Intelligence

"I know Tulsi will bring the fearless spirit that has defined her illustrious career to our Intelligence Community."

If you’ll remember, the Harris-Waltz ticket was destroyed two months before its November 6 trouncing when Kelly Slater was photographed posing with Trump advisor Tulsi Gabbard outside Khalil Rafati’s Sun Life Organics in Las Vegas, where Kelly was attending UFC Noche.

Slater’s pivot delivered millions of middle-aged male votes to the Republican Party headed by popular television star and businessman Donald Trump.

Tulsi Gabbard had long been a sword in the side of the AGP-friendly, no-borders-for-all Democratic Party. She claimed the supposed party of the Quaker progressive was under control of  an “elitist cabal of warmongers” and driven by what she said was “cowardly wokeness.” Tulsi wasn’t real hot on its leaders being coy on Islamic terrorism, either. 

Tulsi Gabbard’s political career began in 2002 when she was elected to the Hawaii House of Representatives, becoming the youngest person ever elected at 21.

Gabbard later served in the Hawaii Army National Guard, deploying to Iraq and Kuwait, and became the first female combat vet in Congress after her election to the U.S. House of Reps in 2013.

In August, Gabbard, a common sense centrist who supports native rights in the US, but ain’t afraid to call Islamic terrorism what it is, threw her political muscle behind Donald Trump, a move that highlighted the parlous state of the Dems.

On Wednesday, Tulsi was appointed as Director of National Intelligence by President-elect Donald Trump, the new prez writing:

“For over two decades, Tulsi has fought for our Country and the freedoms of all Americans. I know Tulsi will bring the fearless spirit that has defined her illustrious career to our Intelligence Community, championing our Constitutional Rights, and securing Peace through Strength. Tulsi will make us all proud!”

Tulsi Gabbard and Kelly Slater meet up next week for a celebrity Green Beret Tactical Challenge.

Kelly Slater and Tulsi Gabbard.
Tulsi Gabbard and Kelly Slater, together again.

Do you believe important matters of state will be discussed tween the pair, Slater sharing important intelligence gleaned from his years on Instagram?

And, given Slater’s environmental bona fides, able to turn deserts into pretend oceans, sandals made from turtle dreams etc, might there even be a role for the 11-time Champ in the new administration?

Heady days.

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North County San Diego surfers (right) react to impending doom.
North County San Diego surfers (right) react to impending doom.

Sea serpents considered “symbol of impending doom” wash up on North County San Diego beaches!

Surfers, terrified, locking themselves indoors and weeping uncontrollably.

North County San Diego surfers should, by all rights, be overjoyed today. A spot of swell has finally arrived to a region starved of waves for the better part of three months. The sun, to make matters even more theoretically happy, is shining and the crows are cawing. But North County San Diego surfers are not overjoyed today. They are, instead, curled up in the fetal position, indoors with all lights off, curtains drawn, awaiting a very ominous fate.

The abject terror has nothing to do with Donald J. Trump’s ascension to the highest office in the land nor does it have to do with excessive concern of what will happen to Tyler Wright if she choses to surf in the Abu Dhabi Pro come February 2025.

No, the mental duress stems from the otherworld. Two wildly rare sea serpents have washed up on two beaches, La Jolla and Encinitas’ Grandview just one month apart. Deep sea dwelling oarfish that are considered “symbols of impending doom” in Japanese folklore.

The bad omens are both over 10 feet long and look like the Matt Gaetz his very self with weirdly pinched faces and a fire red mohawk traveling from tip to tail.

Yikes.

Only 25 oarfish have ever been spotted, dead or alive, in Southern California over 100 years.

Ben Frable, Scripps’ Institute of Oceanography fish expert and a museum scientist, declared, “We took samples and froze the specimen awaiting further study and final preservation in the Marine Vertebrate Collection. Like with the previous oarfish, this specimen and the samples taken from it will be able to tell us much about the biology, anatomy, genomics and life history of oarfishes.”

He also surmised the reason for the beachings “may have to do with changes in ocean conditions and increased numbers of oarfish off our coast. Many researchers have suggested this as to why deep-water fish strand on beaches. This wash-up coincided with the recent red tide and Santa Ana winds last week but many variables could lead to these strandings.”

All fine and re. the science, or whatever, but what about the impending doom?

Ben Gravy moving to town?

A Jamie O’Brien Surf Experience popping up at Stonesteps?

Chris Cote deciding to turn full negative?

Help!

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$5 million hopes for Mick Fanning’s surf-and-skate beach shack after house goes viral online!

"The perfect place to escape, exhale, and rejuvenate. A sleek yet soulful sanctuary."

Three years back, Mick Fanning threw what seemed to be an insane sum, three mill, on a joint off the beach and near the Coolangatta flight path in what is usually considered to be pretty down-at-heel Tugun.

Mini ramp at 5 Faz Drive, Tugun.

The beach house at 5 Farrell Drive, Tugun, click if you want to examine more photos of it, backs onto a bird sanctuary, has an indoor skate ramp and a indoor-outdoor pool, and was a hot target for buyers in an already over-heated market when Mick Fanning bought it.

Mick Fanning beach shack
Since buying the joint, Mick has turned brown wood into white!

Three mill for a house a ten-minute walk from the beach and with big silver birds flying over it? Five years ago, you’d be stretched to catch a clueless interstate buyer willing to shovel a million bucks in its direction.

Oh but the times do change in the land of the great property bubble.

From the agent’s sale’s spiel,

This is it – the perfect place to escape, exhale, and rejuvenate. A sleek yet soulful sanctuary, it’s where you can disconnect from the chaos of daily life and reconnect with yourself and your family in privacy.

Tucked away on a 1269m2 block, a wildlife wonderland with turtles, swans, and pelicans awaits, complemented by 51m of creek frontage. Bathed in endless natural light, it invites you to relax in style or cook up a feast in the gourmet kitchen, complete with designer appliances. Enjoy this tranquil outlook everyday from an elevated alfresco deck, which seamlessly connects with an open-plan kitchen, living, and dining area indoors. Sit and gaze at the moonlight from your balcony while the kids enjoy the huge backyard. You would be lucky to ever find another flat 1269m2 block this close to the ocean, only made possible by a historical aquastiion from a neighbour of addition land.

North-facing and endlessly captivating, contemporary elegance and functionality seamlessly co-exist over one single level. Custom windows ensure the lush and leafy outlook is only ever a glance away too, while low-maintenance finishes, such as the imported kiln dried panels, equals more time for family and fun. You don’t have to go far either to indulge your playful side,with a fully functional indoor half pipe here. 

Earlier today, PropTrack data revealed the house is currently the most viewed real estate listing in Queensland. And Fanning, who has ten million bucks worth of real estate on the southern GC, is hoping to ride what might be the last wave of the boom and slice off a two-mill profit, less capital gains tax, stamp duty, realtor fees and so on.

The joint goes to auction on November 23.

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Justin Mauvin in ICU after accident.
Justin Mauvin in ICU after wild freak accident.

World #3 longboarder Justine Mauvin in ICU after freak car accident on Reunion Island

Hunk of metal flies off truck and spears through surfer's windscreen…

The French surfer, singer and model Justine Mauvin, who swings by the stage name Sibu Manaï when she’s hitting her wild ethno world fusion creole beats, was involved in a freak car accident while driving that pretty coastal road between La Grande Chaloupe and La Possession on Réunion Island. 

The accident happened when a hunk of metal, which had fallen from a van, was thrown into the air after being run over by another vehicle.

The metal piece crashed through the windshield of Mauvin’s car, belting her in the head. 

According to local media, Mauvin, who is thirty-one, remains in intensive care and is in, clearly, a real serious condition.

Mauvin won the French longboard title twice, first in 2014 and then in 2016 and placed third at world’s.

Since her accident, several fans have attempted to pass themselves off as Mauvin’s close relatives to gain access to the hospital ward where she is being treated.

Mauvin’s state name, Sibu Manaï, if you’re wondering, is an Mentawai expression for “Cherish the flower, make it blossom, make it flourish.”

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World Surf League expands women’s championship tour draw for ’25 season

But wait! More sportswashing?

Church bells are chiming from more progressive parishes, today, with the announcement that the World Surf League is expanding its women’s draw ahead of the 2025 Championship Tour. Per the breathless press release:

Today, the World Surf League (WSL) announced an expanded women’s field for the 2026 Championship Tour (CT), increasing the roster to 24 surfers. Driven by the women’s performances and with a commitment to supporting the progression, the field size increase will provide more opportunities for women to compete at the highest level.

Under the new format, the 2026 women’s field will include the Top 14 surfers from the CT, the Top 7 qualifiers from the Challenger Series, two WSL Season Wildcards, and one Event Wildcard.

Though not printed, Jen See told me that last year there 18 surfer cut down to 10 after Margaret River.

2024 champion Caitlin Simmers declared, “I’m stoked to see the numbers grow. Women’s surfing is so special. I want to see more of it and I think a lot of other people do too. I’m really looking forward to having more of my friends on Tour. I think the world deserves to see how epic their surfing is and how hard they charge. I’m really happy that they’ll get more opportunities to go for it.”

Eight-time champion Stephanie Gilmore added, “This is great news! It’s a sign of the times and reflects the depth of talent within female surfing. I’m constantly amazed at the progression and the growing number of women participating in surfing around the world. The future is bright!”

No word, as of yet, from Tyler Wright who is busily concerned with being murdered on tour. As you certainly recall, the “global home of surfing” added a stop in Abu Dhabi for 2025. The petro-rich Middle Eastern kingdom has some laws on the books that happen to be unkind to their own LGBTQIA+ residents and while Wright still calls Australia home, worry still reigns.

Wright’s wife took to Instagram one month ago to share, “Unfortunately homosexuality is illegal at one of the locations and my wife can legally be sentenced to death or imprisonment if she tries to attend. Tyler has competed on this tour for over 14 years and has had the pride flag on her jersey since 2020. Even after winning two world titles she is still not valued enough by the WSL to be considered when they sold this event.”

Might the World Surf League be trying to get out ahead of a potential death sentence or imprisonment by having a more robust women’s field?

A little sleight of hand, as they say?

More as the story develops.

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