Red, white and blue (as in Australian slang for fight).

USA Surfing savages US Ski and Snowboard as war over Olympics turns hot!

By Chas Smith

2 weeks ago

"USSS already manages 10 winter sports and has no surf competition infrastructure, and no dedicated surf coaches."

Olympic surfing, as you may or may not know, will be with us for the foreseeable future. The “Sport of Kings” made its five-ringed debut in Tokyo Games some four years ago. Those were the Covid years of our lives and so the Olympics was conducted in 2021, not 2020 as scheduled, there were no spectators, everyone wore masks and Australia’s Owen Wright won bronze. The show was reprised for the Paris Games, in 2024, this time at Teahupo’o with Jack Robinson taking silver. It will be held again in Los Angeles for 2028 and also Brisbane, Australia 2032.

Thus far, USA Surfing has not been involved.

Olympic disciplines, as you may or may not care, each require a national governing body in order to make the rules of who gets to represent country, provide logistics, make championships etc. USA Surfing was once in charge but lost its certification in 2021 when audits revealed shenanigans such as lack of financial oversight, failure to complete financial audits and other such naughties.

After cleaning up its act, USA Surfing reapplied to take the reins but, alas, a challenger arose in the form of US Ski and Snowboard which just so happens to be led by former World Surf League CEO Sophie Goldschmidt.

Well, hours ago the cold civil war turned hot with USA Surfing unleashing a blistering letter savaging its wintery brethren. After burnishing bonafides, claiming the support of the International Surfing Association, World Surf League and Surf Industry Manufacturers Association, the organization lit right in with an encyclical titled Surf Community Rallies Behind Strong, Surf-Centered NGB Application:

In an unprecedented move, U.S. Ski & Snowboard (USSS)—a winter sports NGB with no history governing surfing—has also applied to take over Olympic surfing governance. USSS already manages 10 winter sports and has no surf competition infrastructure, and no dedicated surf coaches.

At a time when other countries are doubling down on investments in surfing, the U.S. is heading in the opposite direction—not only disinvesting, but undermining the very talent pipeline that contributed to back-to-back Olympic gold medals and supports the growth of emerging Olympic and Paralympic surf disciplines.

USA Surfing looks forward to U.S. Ski’s public hearing April 15 and welcome continued public review of both applications.

How does U.S. Ski plan to reconcile their application with the Ted Stevens Act and Olympic Charter requirements that a certified NGB must be recognized by the international federation and serve the full interest of the sport and its athletes?

USA Surfing never wanted to be in an adversarial position with another Olympic sport. It serves neither of us—nor the Olympic and Paralympic movement—well. We acknowledge U.S. Ski & Snowboard’s athletes’ tradition of excellence, and their organizational capacity. We ask only for the same respect in return—for the surfers, the coaches, the community and culture.

In the end, this is bigger than any one application. USA Surfing is hopeful that the final outcome will protect athlete pathways of development, elevate surfing, and follow the Olympic Charter’s vision for unity, excellence, and fair play.

No dedicated surf coaches? What’s the world coming to?

In all seriousness, though, is the support of the ISA, WSL and SIMA really a plus?

Count me with US Ski and Snowboard.

Team Goldschmidt.

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"He is a champion because he has the biggest social media network and is arguably one of the most powerful humans on Earth. He can control communication and knowledge and all these sort of things," says Kai Lenny.

Kai Lenny reveals backlash from friendship with “socially awkward” Mark Zuckerberg

By Derek Rielly

2 weeks ago

“People were writing me off and giving me grief.”

New Yorker Justin Jay is a master portraitist who works with a Nikon film camera, an ancient manual-focus 35mm prime affixed to the beak, and made his name shooting superstars like P.Diddy, pre-incarceration, Jay Z and Outkast.

A few years back he released an epic hard-cover book of a decade shooting the North Shore. My favourite photo in the lavish tome was this image of Dane Reynolds, excluded from a Bruce Irons make-out session at a North Shore party.

Dane Reynolds excluded from make-out session.

Lately, he has pivoted into podcasting with his show The Plug, with guests including the band MGMT, Tony Hawk, Devendra Banhart, Brian Austin Green and a smattering of surfers and skaters like Mick Fanning and Nathan Florence.

His latest episode stars Kai Lenny, who almost died last year and only one week after the fairytale election of a devil-may-care, dare-to-dream businessman to the highest office in the land.

Lenny, who is thirty two, was surfing his foil-board in Maui when he “wiped out” after a back-flip attempt and the board’s hydro-foil slashed his chest, dagger style, and perilously close to his heart.

Of all the things we might remember Kai Lenny for, it’s his friendship with Mark Zuckerberg that excites the most.

Lenny has been described as Robin to Mark Zuckerberg’s Batman and in this episode of The Plug Lenny dives into the minutiae of a beautiful friendship.

Jay talks about how “notoriously protective” and “catty” surfers can be towards people perceived as outsiders. He references the great Jonah Hill, who took his hazing very well, and pivots into Lenny and Zuck’s strictly platonic friendship.

Excerpts:

“His awkwardness definitely makes people assume things and by hanging out with him I got to know who he really was and he’s actually a really good athlete, surprisingly. He’d run six miles every morning, he’s been doing rowing since college days, you know he runs the biggest social media network on the planet, and I don’t know enough about coding and all the stuff that he really does to make a judgment of that. I think it’s impossible to make everybody happy. But what I know from just hanging out with him personally, it never felt weird at all. I have a lot of respect for anybody who puts themself you know outside their comfort zone and wants to learn something new.”

“Regardless of who you are, i you are one of the top three wealthiest people on the planet everyone wants to tear you down. Everyone praises Michael Jordan or even Kelly Slater, but at the time, when they were at their peak of their powers, everyone’s trying to tear them down, bring them down. And that’s just the nature of being a champion. And in his case, he is a champion because he has the biggest social media network and is arguably one of the most powerful humans on Earth. He can control communication and knowledge and all these sort of things.”

“People were writing me off and giving me grief. But I was, like, this is such a sick opportunity to literally meet maybe one of the most powerful people. What he does with that power over time only history can judge it. I’ve always felt it’s pretty unique opportunity when someone that is so influential across the entire globe wants to meet you. It’s always worth seeing them. You don’t have to disagree with everything. A lot of times people that are at these high positions are expected to be perfect and no one’s perfect…I would be willing to meet any one of our US presidents, even if I didn’t vote for them.”

Essential.

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“World’s coolest dictator” heads to White House after hosting lavishly-praised Surf City El Salvador Pro!

By Chas Smith

2 weeks ago

Thank you, surfing.

What a run it has been for El Salvador’s popular president, the self-styled “coolest dictator in the world,” Nayib Bukele these past few weeks. First, the “Global Home of Surfing” came to town for the 4th stop on its Championship Tour. World Surf League broadcasters Joe Turpel, Chris Cote, Mitchell Salazar etc. heaped so much praise on the country, so much buoyant language, that the surf fan, listening at home, becoming certainly convinced that El Salvador is a modern utopia where all freedoms are guaranteed and presumed innocence a national treasure.

Well, if holding the surf world in palm of hand is not enough, today, Bukele is in Washington D.C. visiting United States President Donald J. Trump at the White House.

Dressed in a last decade throwback trim navy blue suit at black t-shirt, the 43-year-old signaled his commitment to keeping wrongly deported folk in his glorious mega-jail, responding to a question about the Supreme Court’s ruling the man must be returned by saying, “The question is preposterous. How can I smuggle a terrorist into the United States? I don’t have the power to return him to the United States.”

Bukele praised his country’s turn from the “murder capital of the world” to the “safest country in the world,” a sentiment that was echoed loudly in the World Surf League booth, and while the two world leaders did not get around to discussing Jordy Smith’s impressive win or Isabella Nichols missing her twin sister’s wedding, there is no doubt that it was top of mind.

Back to the lavish tributes ladled onto El Salvador from the World Surf League, do you imagine other potential despots around the globe are taking note?

Might we see the Great Leader Sonbong North Korean Pro on tour next year?

Mitchell Salazar and co. making word monuments to the tidiness and fierce pride of the Democratic People’s Republic?

Here’s to hoping.

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Regardless of deteriorating waves, Smith was never going to lose to his countryman upstart. He was clearly emotional after winning not only for the first time in eight years, but for the first time on a board shaped by his father. It was a dream, he said, and at this stage of Smith’s career, it was a feel-good victory for all.

Jordy Smith weeps after winning gruelling El Salvador grand slam on Daddy’s surfboard

By JP Currie

2 weeks ago

"I love you Dad."

The initial days of this El Salvador comp are the first in four years that I’ve failed to report on a day of competition for the men’s WCT.

I’ve reported from the Scottish wilderness, when too much whisky and boisterousness led to a cracked head on the stone wall of the bothy. I slept on a rolled up jacket, saturated with blood that froze overnight, and I still watched pro surfing and reported after hiking out the next day.

I’ve reported from Amsterdam, from the French Alps, from the high-dependency unit of a hospital, from my school desk, from the back of my van, from romantic dalliances here, there and hither and from many, many other places where I had no business or pleasure in watching pro surfing.

But this week, at the beginning of this uninspiring competition, I was on the Hebridean island of Tiree, population 653, and home to Scotland’s first and only professional surfer, Ben Larg.

My accommodation had no wifi, and there was little to no phone signal, but there was blissful sunshine for ten days straight. I foiled in different genres. I bodysurfed. I played with my kids on the beach. I surfed small, glassy waves alone. And I ignored the opening rounds of mucky, brown El Salvador, where men and women eked out mid-threes and called it surfing.

However, something gnawed at me.

Was it residual guilt for letting BG down?

Was I missing pre-Cut drama?

Was I missing Edgard Groggia, a man I couldn’t identify if he did four backside hacks towards me in a supermarket aisle?

No, it couldn’t be any of that.

And then it dawned on me.

El Salvador. Latin America.

Of course! Right then I knew exactly what it was.

I was missing everyone’s favourite cuddly spangloid!

I was missing peak Mitchell Salazaar.

And so, getting home yesterday, I caught up with the quarters, then the Finals Day proper.

“We’re excited, aren’t we, Joe!” Salazaar bubbled, before settling to a lobotomised grin.

Joe Turpel, clearly overwhelmed after days of minding this giant Mexican toddler, ignored him.

Matt McGillivray, the eventual finalist, was in the water against Yago Dora.

According to Salazaar et al, the event victory was fait accompli for Dora. But McGillivray was tack-sharp on the running right handers, disposing of Dora fairly.

There were the obligatory sky-diving and base-jumping references to endure, naturally. And at one point (referencing Dora’s spilt from his father-as-coach), Mitch asked Joe for his advice on fatherhood.

“I’m not a father yet myself,” Salazaar said hopefully, “but you are, Joe. At what point do you need to take a step back?”

Turpel, perhaps wondering what might warrant stepping away from his infant daughter, graciously ignored Salazaar again.

Instead, Joe deferred to what he knew, that being commentary on live surfing that really only reveals its ridiculousness when you pause for a moment to break it down.

“Activating the flow state through that wrapping turn,” he offered.

Next up was Ethan Ewing vs Crosby Colapinto. Older brother Griffin, dumped out of the competition early once again and shockingly 26th in season rankings, joined Salazaar and Turpel in the studio. A meeting of minds if ever there was.

Ethan Ewing was typically hawk-like in his approach, stooping on few waves, but picking the eyes out them. But his well-fed 8.17 to open was followed by a long period of starvation in a slow heat. He waited patiently, but prey did not appear.

In the studio, Salazaar was at odds with his clout-chasing.

“What I love about your brother…etc,” he gushed to Griffin. But then Ewing got his score, and Salazaar had to switch tack. “I’m sorry, I know he’s your brother, but…”

The crux of the heat came in the final minute. Colapinto was in the lead with priority, and Ewing still needed a back-up greater than three. A set wave appeared. Colapinto tried to go, but was lost in the whitewater. Ewing, a little deeper, casually took off and bottom turned around the tumbling Colapinto. It was an unlikely scenario, and all Ewing had to do was make the wave in mediocre fashion. But uncharacteristically, he blew his second turn. Colapinto’s mild embarrassment was spared.

In the following quarter final, and then the semi, Jordy Smith continued his march. As with McGillivray, the running rights were right up Smith’s straat. Even in his twilight years, this should surprise no-one.

He dispatched both Ferreira and Houshmand in much the same way, nailing mid-eights early in the heat and leaving his opponents chasing.

Ferreira resorted to desperation airs, the likes of which we haven’t seen all season. But on a wave that rewarded flow over explosiveness, he just couldn’t find a steep enough section. Italo can flow when he wants to. On his best days he can string beautiful backhand turns, but today he couldn’t find the rhythm. And certainly not against prime Jordy.

“Machete, scalpel, scalpel, katana, samurai, switchblade,” said Cote, in succinct analysis of Smith’s turns.

By this time, Salazaar, under direct instruction or unlikely self-awareness, had left the booth and was loitering in the Red Bull Athlete Zone. This was unfortunate for Rainos Hayes, coach of Italo Ferreira.

“Love you longtime,” Mitch said to Hayes. “Love you longtime,” he insisted, before some other garbled communication in uncertain dialect.

Clearly he’s never seen Full Metal Jacket.

But whether he was soliciting his wares or otherwise, back in the booth Cote couldn’t ignore it. “He’s going all over the world…pidgin…some Spanglish coming through…”

Matt McGillivray continued his run to the final, besting Colapinto in an emaciated heat where just four waves were ridden.

With just three minutes left and comboed, Colapinto found a wave. It seemed a gem. He got barrelled three times. Mitch Salazaar squealed and howled. The mid-seven scored seemed low. But it was too little, too late regardless.

And so we had the first all South African final at this level in no less than 41 years.

“This is the chance for a new generation,” said Salazaar, as the oldest man on tour in Smith took to the water against the five-year CT veteran McGillivray.

“An opportunity to make a bunch of cash,” said the delightful Rosie Hodge, citing the dollar value of the rand.

“He could be starcrushed,” said Jesse Mendes of McGillivray’s attitude to Smith.

Jordy surfed an ugly, windblown opener for an inexplicable 7.33, and that was more or less it, aside from some painful mock South African accents and anecdotes from the commentary team.

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“There’s nothing that can’t happen if you don’t have heart, Joe,” said Salazaar.

Turpel, understandably, might still be processing that one.

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Nichols (left) crying through tears while listening to Mitchell Salazar.

Devastating effects of world’s longest surf contest continue as runner-up Isabella Nichols forced to miss twin sister’s wedding

By Chas Smith

2 weeks ago

"This one was probably the biggest sacrifice I’ve had to make."

The Surf City El Salvador Pro concluded, yesterday, after cutting a devastating swath through the surfing community. While most sympathy fell upon the surf fan who was forced to endure eight days of Mitchell Salazar pronouncing “Punta Roca,” there were much greater victims.

Namely, Australia’s Isabella Nichols. The 27-year-old lost in the finals to Hawaii’s Gabriela Bryan by a score of 11.74 to 14.33, a fine result, but the torturous length of the contest forced her to miss her twin sister Helena’s wedding. Trying to put a brave face on emotional hell, Nichols told The Guardian, “I love coming back here (to El Salvador). The people are amazing, and the waves are beautiful. It’s just an incredible part of the world, and I just have so many people to thank. Especially my family for understanding that this is part of the job, and I was there (at the wedding) in spirit.”

Continuing, she explained, “As athletes and anyone really working on the road, there’s sacrifices that you have to make. This one was probably the biggest sacrifice I’ve had to make. My parents, my sister, George, and everyone at home, I just wanted to say I hope you have the most wonderful day today. I’m dedicating this one to you, Helena.”

But imagine the deep well of sadness that will be there for every Nichols family gathering from here on out. Mother starting story, “But then when Helena came down the aisle…” before casting a glance as Isabella then trailing off. Father starting story, “And once the DJ started spinning ‘The Way You Look Tonight’…” before casting a glance at Isabella then trailing off.

Devastating.

Punta Rrrrrrrroca.

But over to you, dear reader. What is the most important thing you’ve ever missed because you were watching a surf contest? Please share.

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