"We want Kelly! We want Kelly!"
In these proud Divided States of America, there are two main surfing hubs: California and Florida. California is, of course, superior but Florida is still very important with much surf history, many notable surf personalities and one almost average wave.
Outrage understandable, then, when CJ Hobgood, Damien Hobgood, Shea Lopez, Cory Lopez, Evan Geiselman, Eric Geiselman, Sterling Spencer, Aaron Cormican, Jeff Crawford, Stu Duffy, Charlie Cogal, Justin Quintal, Gabe Kling, Jimmy “Cane” Wilson, Matt Kechele, Todd Kline, Dick Meseroll, Larry Pope, Matt Shaw and many others were summarily dismissed for the coveted title “Ultimate Florida Man.”
The honors, instead, went to current U.S. Secretary of State Li’l Marco Rubio, though the secretive process for his selection has been questioned.
The announcement, anyhow, was made by new CBS News anchor Tony Dokoupil to an audience of thousands during his second night on the job.
Reporting from Florida, Dokoupil began by weeping about how he had been robbed of a childhood because he was not allowed to grow up in Miami, drawing much sympathy from his audience.
“It makes me emotional, it’s so funny,” he began, wiping back tears, explaining “let me get a second here” before continuing.
“To help people understand why I have such a reaction… Florida is where I grew up. My grandmother’s here, my father, my mother, my aunts and uncles, cousins, and it’s where I would have spent all of my childhood. But we left because my father got in trouble with business. We laugh about it now, but he was a drug dealer and he went to jail. The reason it’s so emotional for me is because I feel like I was robbed of the full Miami experience.”
When he was done being a wussy, he tossed out his Rubio Ultimate Florida Man banger.
Surfers throughout the Sunshine State, and beyond, apoplectic.
Marco don’t barrel (unless it’s stolen crude from Venezuela).
Booo.
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“Drive baby! Drive, drive!”
Good movie that.. one of my favourites
The original Florida Man from the old surfermag fantasy surfer forums remains unsurpassed.
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oh that’s clever.
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I’m at my biannual point of needing quit lit
is that the new leader of Venezuela?
Yes! And soon he’ll be the Shah of Iran too! Exciting times
and don’t forget Cuba…….and he’s now shading JD Vance in the polls…..ah merica first…or 5th whatever!
The Shah was the best.
Fark this joint sucks, it’s nosediving quicker than Chas at a wave pool.
What happened to the surf talk?
WSL’s fault. Since they switched up the schedule, we’re just trying to make it to April. Will we make it??
magic 8 ball says ‘my sources say no’
just cover the stab in the dark and the bitch fight that broke out with the shapers…..Biolis calling out Britt M for still having his dads name on all boards…..Britt fires back at biolis…DH calls out ..??? Pyzel calms Matt down……..possibly the greatest Vanilla show so far this year..LOL.
I refuse to go over there.
You want to spill some more tea? Sounds fun.
on instagram…..sounds like the stab boys created some real animosity…Britt calls Biolis out….”Matt you are Dick and everyone knows it!”
Britt doesn’t care if Kelly likes his boards, Matt calls him out , ……ahh the joys of vanilla!
I had to go back and look at the Dane SITD and saw that he thought your board was too wild!
ha..yeah made the board for J-bay…..out of his surfboard comfort zone and shit beach break……learnt a lesson!
Do ya have IG…go and have a look it’s classic…
Had a looky. Seems like a very manufactured beef. Whatever.
TBH it could be v interesting hearing Baldy break down the board performance. Princess and the pea level.
yeah it’s been edited in a way to create animosity…or the stabettes ( Stab subscribers) could become revolting……but at least stabs creating shaping wars?
Hahahaha stabettes is such a good name for em. Fuck theres some proper soft cocks over there ay, just a bland vacuum of nothingness
it’s called Vanilla Syndrome……very soft/conservative/inbred…LOL…
Got lots of advertising bucks tied up in being pretend-edgy.
As edgy as eating the crusts of white wonderloaf.
just so you know , you have to pay for your editorial on stab…..
love the blinking light intros when they’re getting ‘edgy’ — ‘hey, look, we’re swearing, pushing the envelop here bros!’
uggghhh … but put up with it bc really do want to see what KS11 says in SITD , ha
Those bushfires in Vicco are looking pretty hectic mate?
yeah….43 degrees 80kph off shores with gusts……now after 3 days…it’s cold and onshore for 2 weeks…….and this is La Nina which is our coldest pattern!
The Stabettes … …….. a local lezzo Melbourne band who wear strapon prongs for effect.
just having some fun poking lightweight jabs at each other
looking forward to the full edit , have been a Britt fan since his pastor days separate and apart from his planing skills so very curious what the full context of all that will be.
I just read that article over there and fuck the comments are so embarrassing. “Did you all just see what Britt said to Matt OMG”. “I am so excited for this I haven’t slept in a week”. I am sooooo excited to see Kelly back on a CI I just jizzed in my Rip Curl G Banger”. Haha get a grip ya pack of soft cunts
This applies to FL, too!
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oh boy……..here we go again.
Seems the only place safe from Republicans right now are to be in the Epstein files.
She could have stayed in Canada.
How does it feel to know Orwell wrote a book about you?
She was anti-public schools, enrolling her 6 year old in a charter school that focused on curriculum grounded in social justice.
well fucken kill her then!
She also received training from ICE Watch to be an agitator and instigator.
Amd instigate she did.
she was also an award winning poet , mother of 3 , no criminal record , no radical left leaning issues….3 shots to the head great shooting….but, it does show ice was determined to kill her!
I had no idea poets get to pick and choose which laws they have to follow.
6 year old son: “Hey Mom, want to play Legos with me today?”
Good: ” I can’t. I’ll be too busy stalking and harassing ICE agents today.”
she was not some gun toting red neck…she was a mother who just dropped off her kid school , no criminal record……she was NOT stalking and harassing ice agents!
“She was a warrior. She died doing what was right,” a mother named Leesa, whose child attends the same school.
She connected with ICE Watch through that same charter school.
The leftist group have used vehicles to ram ICE vehicles in other incidents across the nation.
As a mother, maybe she should have just gone the fuxk home, or to work.
Give it up, Brutus. ottos own “logic” requires him to denounce Melania as an immigrant and celebrate Kirk being shot bc Kirk had it coming. Neither will happen. What was it Chas called it the other day? “Intellectual dishonesty” I think it was.
Did she HAVE to be there?
yeah she just dropped off her kid at school!
Laken Riley was just going for a jog near her college. Raped and slaughtered by an illegal Venezuelan immigrant caught at the border and released into the country.
If she was your daughter would you support Biden’s open door policy?
Horrific. But one doesn’t justify the other. Seems race or nationality has nought to do with killing.
yes
Did she need such a short skirt and to have had a few drinks?
lazy
Do you HAVE to be here? A free country is defined by your freedom of movement
Freedom of movement? So she just happened to park perpendicular to traffic in a residential neighborhood at the same time ICE is conducting operations?
And that deserves an extracurricular death sentence carried out on the spot?
Your tyrannical itches must be getting a full scratch….
How about she just stays out of the fucking way. ICE operations targeting illegal aliens are not tyrannical acts targeting US citizens.
How bout they just stop acting like the SS?
Way too many reports of heavy handed tactics.
They are as good of an example of tyrannical government gone off the rails as it gets.
Dude, if sanctuary cities honored ICE detainers when criminal illegal aliens are arrested, instead of releasing them back out onto the street, ICE wouldn’t have to go out into cities and take them into custody themselves.
ICE operations don’t concern US citizens.
And yet many US citizens are getting preemptively detained, having to establish proof of innocence instead of ICE proving guilt.
And that is it right there, blanket canvassing is always going to be associated with fascism, no matter what the justification or intent may be.
That’s flat out false. That is not what is happening. They know who they’re going after. They are not just rounding up groups of brown people bc they’re brown.
And you know that cause you went for the 50K?😀
Anyway at it’s core immigration was never a foreign conspiracy as much as it was government ineptitude. The inability to properly lay out a cohesive system to assimilate what is clearly part of our fabric,through every state red or blue(as I can attest to), has lead to all the shitshow of late.
This shitshow has been in the making since the 80’s.
Instead of 100K H-1’s they had been able to charge the 5K to 15K that they paid the coyotes our coffers would be stuffed and people would be documented and working. Until you can concede that immigrants fill industry needs and there needs to be real legislation with real then you are stuck with this, a fascist shitshow ripe for political shit mongering.
I’m just here for the laughs….
one just got shot and killed…ooops…is that all?
Also, just laughably gormless and incompetent.
https://x.com/ScooterCasterNY/status/2009006707880652857?s=20
You might want to rethink that comment .
“I had no idea poets get to pick and choose which laws they have to follow.”
I don’t expect a coherent answer but it’ll be fun to watch the mental gymnastics here:
Why can Trump disobey international law but she has to comply with law?
The Jan 6th protesters don’t have to follow the law, she does?
Remember when the whole US founding myth was based on rebelling against unfair tax laws from Britain?
Also, if everyone has to follow the law, even if they don’t agree with it, you don’t need the second amendment because everyone should just follow the law no matter what yer?
Since when is ICE operations against illegal aliens tyranny against US citizens?
Trump didn’t disobey international law.
J6’rs were prosecuted.
We declared war. Is that what she was doing?
Yet they all didn’t follow the law. Agree?
prosecuted , found guilty, sentenced, then pardoned …..now it’s all about the drugs ( smoke and mirrors deflecting from epstein) except trump just pardoned Juan Hernandez ex president of Honduras who was found guilty of trafficking tons of cocaine and firearms…..given 45 years sentence…released/pardoned 1 st Dec 2025…….does Maduro have to pay his way out?
None of them murdered.
Old Joe commutted the death sentences of many truly heinous, deserving of death row, inmates.
no just treasonous behavior…….and no answer to pardoning an ex dictator for drug and arms violations…..so will Maduro be able to pay his way out too?
I imagine the Honduran guy gave up everything he knows, Intel we otherwise did t have, that would aid in dismantling Maduro and other south,and central American cartelz he work with.
nah convicted for 45 years…….paid his way out , with ???….
so he got pardoned , why
1) he paid off the Govt
2) the Govt doesn’t really give a shit about dying on drugs but really need smoke and mirrors to distract from epstein
3) deal was done so as not to name trump?
Defund the international police!
Wait, are there any?
Laken Riley was a sweet, innocent college student in Georgia who was raped and murdered by an illegal Venezuelan immigrant who was caught at the border and released into the Country anyway.
That policy is a huge reason we are in this mess.
I don’t recall 200 comment bg articles discussing how awful that was.
Until both “sides” admit the failings of the leaders they support we are truly doomed
sad , so how do you reconcile this one?
yeah both sides bullshit, but when the rule of law is challenged, well here we are living in bullshit!
bullshit….show me a link?
https://redstate.com/terichristoph/2026/01/08/the-truth-comes-out-about-renee-nicole-good-n2197928
Red State is a conservative opinion site….there is no substance the story you posted…but now understand what you use as facts….is just a right wing opinion site, and you are wrong about Renee good..
The facts they bring are inconvenient to the lefty narrative.
they are not facts , just a few ideas/suppositions…….but now I understand more about maga’s opinions and how they seemed so twisted from reality, and actually just fills trumps narrative….with misinformation or bullshit which you guys seem to lap up…..
Anyhow, show us the epstein file and please continue on with Red State, it’s rather becoming.
Heard it here before elsewhere
https://redstate.com/bobhog…
I understand now your news/information sources…..which again are merely conjecture……anything on the epstein files?
Just reading and believing one source of information…is just plain lazy!
Have you seen the new footage?
yep….still can’t understand , the first shot thru the windscreen was a head shot…..and then 2 more head shots thru the drivers window……excessive force/ice barbie says the ice agents were surrounded by protestors….more BS!
good read.
one of the first things I thought when I heard she has kids is: WTF is a 37 mom with lil’ uns’ doing at an anti-ICE protest.
#1 job as parent is, don’t do stupid shit that could harm or orphan your child.
have a friend; her and her husband are flaming libs. I mean serious. they don’t even wear deodorant. mom has unshaven pits and legs and crazy lib hair. The father talks like the hippy teacher on Beavis and Butthead.super rich because pops is a Seattle tech guy.
throughout the childs life they would take her to every lib cause du jour.
anti-bush, anti-war for oil, LGBT, pro-abortion, communist, etc. rallies. her and her daughter even appeared in the newspaper wearing their pink vagina hats. Family projects were making protest signs and rally costumes.
so as the kid grew up, completely undisciplined, she starting having a lot of psych issues. completely fucked her up in school, so they put her on an entire regimen of drugs. she had to be moved to 4 different schools for behavioral and emotional problems, and a bunch of dangerous drug and sexual exploits. she tried to kill herself 3 times and spent some time in a psych ward.
she seems okay now that she’s off in college and away from her parents who subjected her to a life of social justice misery. lots of scars though.
#1 job of a parent: take care of your children.
#2: let your kids…..be kids
This post has to be a fucking piss take?
nope.
100% true. wish it wasn’t.
Mate you do realise that young people suffering mental health issues is a huge problem all around the world and not just reserved for the kids of “libs” ay
What this has to do with a white, 37 year old mum and US citizen being shot in the head and murdered by an ICE officer, who was under no danger is just completely beyond me.
Have most seppos now completely lost the ability to view incidents objectively and just resort to what their side is telling them to think?Its pretty fucking scary cuz I have no dog in the fight but any cunt viewing that needless killing as a justified self defence is off their fucking heads and sums up why America is now just so fucked up to the rest of the world looking in.
Start thinking for yourselves and showing outrage at what all of us know is wrong or there ain’t no coming back for yous in my simple opinion
Just wondering were you as outraged by the murder of Laken Riley as you are the murder of the Renae good? Btw I think they are both horrific. But Biden flinging the border doors wide open for 1461 days straight is a huge factor in why we are here.
So Jesus , opens the borders for all to come into the USA….and he’s guilty of any crimes committed …….???
Two things can be true at once – that Renee made a series of bad decisions, and the ICE agent continued to fire after the self-defense threat had passed.
But make no mistake the deceased put herself in the middle of lawful ICE proceedings. She was purposefully blocking traffic and having her actions filmed by her wife and others. Had she chose to protest from the sidewalk (like the filmer), she would not be dead.
Also important to note, the officer who killed Renee had been dragged by a vehicle earlier this year. Evidently, he was making an arrest and the vehicle sped off with his arm still inside of it. Can’t rule this out of the equation.
If protestors in these cities would protest lawfully – not blocking city streets, not assaulting ICE, not ramming cars – none of this would happen. The Democratic politicians want these incidents to happen because they think it helps their side and makes the Trump admin look bad.
Unfortunately, neither side will back down and it’s likely that more incidents of this nature will happen in the future.
it’s part of the USA and now maga culture!
Don’t fuck with me Bro. you’re sayng other young people have mental health issues. no fuckin’ way bro.
I have wikipedia, you know. I can check the facts.
In this case there’s a direct correlation.
When Z was 12 years old, her, my son and some of his friends at a birthday party were talking about what they wanted to be when they grow up. she told us it doesn’t really matter because she’ll be dead by the time she’s 25, because of global warming.
So its fine then that ICE agent murdered that mum in broad daylight on a US street in front of the world cuz she was a “lib”?
should educate your kids better!
she wasn’t at an ice protest…so your opinion is voided!
Hahahaha that sharticle is so one sided its like Monty wrote it
No shit it’s one sided. All MSM is one sided too. But Red State hits on facts the MSM is unwilling to address
I’m impressed how much you know about someone you don’t like.
I feel like this whole exchange perfectly sums up where we are as a culture.
It was the left who tried painting her as a new-to-town do-gooder who was just driving down the street, and confused and scared.
Facts matter. She made conscious choices that cost her her life. She didn’t have to be there. She wanted to
she had just dropped off her kid a school.
ICE isn’t supposed to operate more than 100 miles from the US border.
Minneapolis is 200+ miles from Canada.
The entire Trump regime including all his billionaire backers, anyone involved in P2025 and every single ICE agent needs to be put through a woodchipper, literally.
Immoral, toxic, racist, lying, sociopathic, psychopathic, thieving shitcunts to a person. Every single one.
Oh did I mention treasonous?
If only Biden hadn’t let millions of illegals into the country.
Are Democrat billionaire backers morally superior?
Super interesting how the black population in Minneapolis have ZERO interest coming out to riot on behalf of Ms. Good.
she’s white?
Guess no cross pollination of liberal incentives.
Feels like you’re doing opposition research on a dead lady.
Seems a little dark, even for someone like me who is known to be unlike able.
Or we lean into the darkness…
Maybe her 6 years old sucks and sorta deserves it? Have they talked to the preschool teachers yet?
I think he caused his mum’s death , as she had drop him off at school before meeting with ice…
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The Romans didnt have beef with old mate, they just keeping the jews quiet.
Negs would call that post lazy….if he wasn’t so biased
On holiday. Don’t give a fuck.
You should get involved.
Its your duty!!
jobs already been done…both sides of congress overwhelmingly decided to release them…….an taco still refuses………taco says he has never been to the epstein island….but the files show he lied about that , because….????
Because Dems dont want him to?
ah not sure you follow the news , but the Dems are pushing taco to open , he’s the obstruction…plus a couple of republicans…and maga….so whats the problem ?
I dunno mate, but youll work it out eventually.
just keep navigating the storm….I sometimes wish I wasn’t a global brand……
I wldnt worry about it.
… it’s pathological with him
DHMF… such an instigator!
I’m just a regular ICE agent.
I mean there’s literally no criticism you can offer that post
Marco Rubio’s father was a drug smuggler.
who wasn’t in the 80’s?
Or the late 70s…does drug mule count?
Well, there’s that.
Is that a bad thing or is all work honorable?
I think it’s merely hypocritical of him to go stomping his lil’ feet about such things.
OK it was his dad, not him, but still.
Rubibro should get a man of the yEAR award.
look at the size of those things.
I was staring! They confuse 3/4 of his noggin!
They could use his ears in a Red Bull ad.
Red Bull gives you Wings
He can fly https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
good one.
nice stance.
beautiful Venezuelan beach backdrop
He’s a good listener
We’re just gonna pretend Hawaii doesn’t exist?
Ol’ Chad stay stuck in 1958.
I treat Hawaii the same as WSL.
yep, the season begins in April.
if the north shore crew is gonna claim Trump, then I’m claiming it as America
Hawaii: Da Hui got off to a fizzling start with small waves and unexciting surfing but good commentary, world juniors (the wsl variety this time) is kicking off very soon in the phillipines – it’s not that bad.
If if Minnesota is the “land of 10,000 lakes” and neighboring Wisconsin home to the “waterpark capital of the world” in the Dells, why have Wavepool techs avoided the heartland? Too much ICE for the pipes to handle?
No comment.
no way the title goes to Rubio — in fact, has to be Uncle Pappy, the crazy old guy on instagram who goes swimming in his pond with the gators and talks about how great life is, such a legend (@unc.pappy)
You’ve heard of the 1%, then the 2% and now we have the 3%
https://madison365.com/green-bay-police-chief-stands-by-recruit-with-three-percenter-tattoo/