Crappy New Year.
Doctors throughout greater Orange County, California are readying extra beds after hundreds of Bloody Mary-crazed locals headed the call of surf great Pete Townend and plunged into the Pacific even though rain had been falling for days.
“On New Year’s Day, dive into the fun with your friends and family as they make a splash in the ocean right by the iconic Huntington Beach Pier,” the Surf City Splash flyer advertised, continuing, “This beloved event has become a must-attend, 26-year tradition, attracting participants from all over Southern California and beyond.”
Townend, the Surf City Splash master of ceremonies, gamely told the Los Angeles Times, “We feel an obligation to the community, because we’ve had great publicity leading into it, that we need to do the Splash for the start of the new year. I can tell you right now, though, the water is cold. It’s in the mid-50s. That’s pretty cold. I mean, the coldest I’ve ever surfed in Huntington in my 46 years here was 49 [degrees].”
Cold don’t cause permanent liver damage, however, Townend leaving out the storm that has been drenching the region for days, overwhelming gutters and flowing all manner of ick into the ocean waters.
As every surfer with a Surfline kink knows, “the County Board of Health recommends avoiding contact during and for a period of at least 72 hours after a significant rain.”
Townend, though, uncaring, telling the weather worried to simply eat a breakfast burrito and suck down another bloody and reminding those considering sitting it out that $25 gift certificates to Duke’s will be given to those wearing “the best sea costume, oldest and youngest in costume, best hat, best 2026 New Year’s costume and a most patriotic category that is new this year.”
Unfortunately for those most patriotic, health insurance subsidies rose by 114%, overnight, after the Republican-owned House and Senate failed to advance any sort of health care bill to the Republican president, preferring to let Obama-era subsidies lapse.
Extra-expensive dysentery.
But what is your policy on surfing/swimming after significant rainfall? Do you brave the warnings and paddle or practice an abundance of caution?