New Harvard study reclassifies 70% of adult American surfers as chonky

"Highly provocative."

American surfers who are considering making a new year’s resolution have a little extra motivation, this time around, after Harvard just released a new study that reclassifies 70% of those living in the Land of the Free as, officially, obese.

Previously, 40% were labeled thusly but that was only taking Body Mass index, or BMI, into account. Harvard Medical School researchers, however, found that measurement wanting and so also included “anthropometric measurements, which are measurements of body composition — particularly waist circumference and hip circumference.”

Harvard Medical School assistant professor Lindsay T. Fourman, lead author of the study, declared that “(BMI) doesn’t tell you everything” and that these new data points will be a “paradigm shift” in how chonkiness is evaluated.

Harvard Medical School professor Steven Grinspoon, senior author of the study, stated that the new information should not be used to “stigmatize or shame people” but rather “help them understand the complexity of the metabolic risk associated with their health.”

Grinspoon admitted the new data is “highly provocative” but should encourage rather than alarm. “I do think it raises awareness to the general problem of obesity in America and throughout the world,” though added, “Hopefully, with improved understanding, we can actually tackle the problem and improve people’s health.

Well, do you have thoughts on the matter?

Will you look to slim down in 2026 or simply practice more self love?