Amid Australia’s bull shark controversy, government snipers quietly cull 700 koalas

The Billie Eilish disease!

From the so-crazy-it-gotta-be-true department is news the Victorian gov has sent snipers in choppers to put bullets into the heads of seven hundred koalas. 

After a March bushfire scorched swathes of habitat, leaving many animals burnt, starving, or displaced amid overpopulation pressures from fragmented landscapes and nearby plantations, the gov authorised an unprecedented response: snipers in helicopters shot more than 700 koalas, possibly even a thousand of ’em, from the air. 

Described in official parlance as compassionate euthanasia for suffering individuals, the operation unfolded without public announcement. It only got air time when wildlife carers leaked details about the killings. Snipers assessed the koalas from 30 metres or more, raising doubts about accurate identification of injuries, the presence of joeys, or unnecessary deaths.

Aerial shooting, y’see, might work reasonably well for big game in open areas, but its reliability drops sharply when dealing with lil creatures like koalas, particularly in thick, tangled bushland where visibility and precision suffer.

Probs, several koalas ended up badly wounded rather than instantly dispatched.

From their vantage point, the chopper-based shooters simply couldn’t reliably confirm the extent of injuries or spot any hidden joeys tucked in pouches, leaving major gaps in ensuring a truly humane outcome.

Contrast all that with the hand-wringing surrounding what to do about the explosion in bull and Great White shark numbers in close coastal waters. 

Sharks enjoy layers of protection and public sympathy that make broad culling politically toxic. Great Whites are protected under national law as a vulnerable species. Shark control programs in Queensland and New South Wales deploy drumlines and mesh nets, catching and killing some sharks (including bull and tiger species), but Great Whites receive special exemptions and handling: many are tagged and released if possible, or avoided under strict conditions.

Proposals for aggressive culls, like Western Australia’s short-lived 2014 program, faced fierce backlash from environmentalists and the public and were quickly iced.

Koalas, meanwhile, these cuddly national icons endlessly photographed hugging trees, face silent, dispatch when they become inconvenient, overabundant or post-disaster burdens. 

One species threatens humans and is fetishised, given the ol Elo Logan magic elf treatment; the other harms no one but dies in droves behind closed doors.

Talk to me about this mindset of the person that don’t blink an eye at the killing of koalas or kangaroos but weeps and protests after a couple of sharks get gaffed.

I think, and yes I understand it ain’t important what your ol pal Dez thinks particularly given my shocking record on everything of note, that rationality has become passé, as they say. A product of empire, colonialism, stolen land.

Yay Billie Eilish, Fuck ICE etc.