What in the world happened to us?
At some point during the last ten years, surfing has become as gadgety as mountain biking and I hate it. A real beautiful thing about our Pastime of Kings is its simplicity. All one actually needs is a board. Wetsuits and leashes and fin keys are cool, though not actually essential, et voila. Neat and clean in an increasingly complicated world.
All that out the Sprinter Van window now.
I think it all started with the changing poncho which, in theory, was an improvement on the towel-around-waist business that surfers (save Derek Rielly) had been employing for years. Those who opted in, there, took a step on the slipperiest ever slope because once the poncho was on, freeing the mind from worrying about a towel malfunction, it wandered directly to the thought “You know, here I am changing but my wetsuit is dropping onto a dirty surface. What this fella needs is something to stand on that’s clean.” And so he bought or fashioned a changing mat.
Now, though, his dirty, sandy feetsies were on a clean changing mat and so the next thought was, “Sure would be nice to change out of my wetsuit and rinse those dogs.” And so he bought a rinse kit.
But then he looked at his board, lying on the ground, mountain bike mind disease firmly taking hold, and he thought, “It’d be cool if my board wasn’t lying on the ground.” And so he bought or fashioned two little boxes to rest it upon or a rack.
I went for a little surf, this morning, and saw men and women, boards on boxes or racks, standing on changing mats whilst in changing ponchos and hatred filled my heart even though it was sunny and gorgeous.
Here is a documentary on the origin of the RinseKit.
Enjoy.
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Oh my so very USA “blast holes in your head” – you couldn’t sound more like a ‘Seppo’ if you tried!
The US has proven guns, blasting holes in people etc. usually causes more trouble. May be a good idea to drop the above quote from your vernacular and also try not to be upset so easily.
Peace be with you!
Fucking surf nerds! To quote the great Fred Armistan on Portlandia, “Get the gear!!!”
sometimes its cold outside
It’s old rhyming slang for septic tank (yank) and pre dates the 80’s. AI summary:
“Septic tank” (or “septic” for short) is Cockney rhyming slang for a Yank (American). The term originated in the 20th century in London, pairing “tank” with “Yank” to create a derogatory, disparaging slang term. It refers to the anaerobic breakdown of waste in a holding tank.
It’s a spectrum, by definition, we are all on it!
You nailed my feelings in that response. Everyone needs a label it seems. I really don’t get it.
Kelly slater once said wax combs are the most useless thing in surfing. That was nearly 30 years ago. Each generation seems to want to complicate things more then they need
To stay relevant with my VAL tech bros, for the latest in surf gadgetry, i rely on the inertia.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Nah.
I got a kid who is
“on the spectrum”, so I get exactly what homie is talking about.
You seem alright but maybe need to expand your worldview.
For example I reckon the only aussies still using the word Seppo frequently are ones who never made it Stateside or anywhere else besides Bali or Fjji, cause every one I have met here and Hawaii dropped that shit a long time ago.
What a greater awareness of an affliction is one of the things you hate about modern day society?
Sounds like you are on the far end of the shit cunt spectrum…
These tells are how I know who to burn in the lineup. HamSammish don’t like kooks.
..If you build it, they will come.
FINALLY a Great Chas Smith Article.
I’m with you Chas!!!
Fck The gadgets.
I thought I was normal. Then I realised I was so far from it I was shocked. This is the first time I’ve actually admitted to being on the spectrum if that helps. I never would admit to it in day to day life. I just learnt how to deal with my quirks and try to be normal.
Cunts that claim it are usually full of shit, or from northern NSW
I too suffer salt on skin sensitivity among many other sensory quirks! I always thought they were normal until mid 30’s. I can’t be fucked with change mats, ponchos, all the other junk but love my hand pump spray shower thing – surf many places that don’t have a public shower, it’s also great for washing and rinsing dishes when camping. Before I got it I just poured a big bottle of water over me ugly cunt head.
I agree 100% with you, and I say this as someone who is mildly on the spectrum (autistic) and has sensitivity issues. I’ve carried a bottle of water to rinse salt off my face post surf (again, autism, sensory problems with dry salt) forever. But a rinse kit? Fucking change poncho? Nope. A board is all you need. More accessories are usually tangible to the age of whence said person started surfing
If you are mildly on the spectrum I’m assuming you also have your 1 token crusty schmeg towel that’s never been washed and stained with zinc, coffee, jizz, blood and other bodily fluids, that you’ll use until it disintegrates.
Nah have a fear of dirt. Use a towel once, throw it in the wash
Hahaha. A ” barrel dodging Frenchman”
I can’t…I just can’t let it go…I’ll go over and rent a camper van. Find his addy and shit on his lawn. That’s closure.
Negs called me French…….I can’t let it go
I’d read this if you’d have done a listicle of all the things you hate. It’s ok, you’re only human.
A plastic concrete tub is better and cheaper than all the other junk they sell you. Keep your shit all in one place. Better than a leash.
None of this shit exists on the east coast minus the poncho which has been around for decades, usually old bath towels sewn by someone’s mother.