“The primary purpose of this ordinance is to strengthen public safety during periods of high visitor activity and major holiday weeks in Newport Beach.”
The pasty surfer, skin the color of clotted cream, has long had a difficult row to hoe and especially in sun-soaked Southern California. It is a battle, straddling board in lineup, all kine radiation filling the morning sky. He can try to lather on zinc, she can pair a surf hat with lycra surf hood, but the best option has always been to erect a large shade on the beach, retreating under its protection between sessions or, if extra pasty, waves.
Sheer panic, then, in tony Newport Beach wherein the city council just moved to ban most sun deterrent structures in an effort to combat cray cray parties.
“The City of Newport Beach has experienced increased calls for service and NMBC (Newport Beach Municipal Code) violations related to large gatherings, excessive noise, alcohol-related offenses, illegal fireworks, and violations associated with short-term lodging units,” a staffer explained to elected officials, adding, “The primary purpose of this ordinance is to strengthen public safety during periods of high visitor activity and major holiday weeks in Newport Beach,” the report stated. “Short-term lodging owners and operators are responsible for informing guests of applicable local laws and taking reasonable steps to promote compliance.”
While most residents were happy to pour cold water on booze-fueled, sunshade-enhanced ragers, others were worried that the new ruling would inadvertently harm little girl birthday parties, one local parent asking, “Do you really want to keep some girls from having a party on the beach? There are generally existing laws in place to fix a lot of things. Noise ordinances, public drunkenness ordinances. To keep making new ordinances that haven’t been enforced previously … it’s just an exercise in looking good.”
Pasty surfers nodding in heavy agreement.
The new rules ban any shade larger than six feet and penalizes linking structures together and keeping the base firm by using a cooler, or esky, in Australian parlance.
City council members, in any case, uncaring about both children and pasty surfers, moving unanimously to approve the rule change.
Dark days, ahead, in Newport Beach.
Or rather too-bright days.