"I have a four-day old daughter," says Kelly Slater.
The greatest-ever Kelly Slater has announced the arrival of his third child with Chinese-American girlfriend Kalani Miller while holidaying on the Gold Coast, ostensibly as an ambassador for the private equity owned legacy watch brand Breitling.
Slater, who is fifty-four, Kalani is thirty-eight, dating for twenty years etc, made the announcement while in the commentary booth at the Gold Coast Pro, the word’s spilling out as he farewelled Joe Turpel and Rabbit Bartholomew.
“I…I… have a four-day old daughter, you guys,” Slater says. “A little Aussie baby.”
The off-script revelation panics Voice of Surfing Joe Turpel who quickly pivots away from the scoop, asking you’d think what the kid’s name is, how’s mama, how’s his other little boy. and instead gets back into the biz of promoting event co-sponsor Brietling.
“Soooo, you’re going to head down the booth and do some signing?” says Turpel.
The four-day old “Aussie baby” joins one-year-old Tao Druku, and Kelly’s other daughter, Taylor, who is thirty this year, a noted photographer and painter.
Back in 1996, Tamara Michelle gave birth to Taylor, in Slater’s home town, Cocoa Beach, Florida, where she was raised. In a country famous for its tell-alls, it spoke well of Tamara, Kelly and Taylor that, despite media pressure, none of ’em spoke of their lives, although Slater did talk briefly, about the guilt he felt for not being a “full-time Dad.”
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Why do you always refer to Kelly’s girlfriend as Chinese-American? can’t you just call her Kalani?
~~Excellent News~~Wonderful News~~
Namaste, Kelly,Kalani, Tao Druku, and to your newest baby girl.
Because she was born in aus, I hope her name is Sheila.
Full Star Wars level name for the 2nd. More of the same for the 3rd. Actually better would be “Little Strayan Cunt, Jr.”. And Slater in his 30s started dating an 18 yr old?!? Better than Griffin though, I reckon.
There’s Strayan’s playin field. He’s surveying aussie babes, cradling an aussie baby and answering the KS call to “hold this.” I’ll be right back.” https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
KS on ‘holiday” after wife has delivered another no named baby. Was the baby delivered naturally or by C-section?
KS: “You’ll have to ask her.”
DR! I think Ke11y first baby mama from my neck of the woods..
Off topic but, fark I hate watching Toledo surf. Not sure if it’s the style, the inability to surf anything over 3 foot, or the wiggling. It’s definitely related to his head being as big as his body looking like it belongs on someone 6’4”, his incessant claims, and his looking back at the judges after every fucking wave. Regardless, it’s ridiculously unpleasing. Carry on.
Sorry but hard to comprehend this take after yesterday’s performance.
master class in performance
Toying with it, so much speed his possibilities had no ceiling
No one even close
Didn’t watch later heats. Did they stop running after the Simmers heat because of the shark sighting or conditions?
Well, to each his own I suppose.
Yeah, I’d much rather watch you surf.
Yeah, that makes sense.
You’ve always been a strange guy… kkkkk
Ke11y’s fuckheadery has no limits. Put aside the feeble attempt for attention that Turps thankfully brushed away. Having kids at 54 is the pinnacle of selfishness in many ways. Pre-apology to anyone here taking part in the same but, you’re going to be 64 when the kid turns 10 and 72 when they finish high school grandpa. Grandkids will come when you’re drooling and crapping your pants so I guess that will give something in common with them. Such a tool.
How about 47?? Still too much?? Guessing you’re on the younger side. Walk a mile, etc
I’m old but I have opinions. Not all agree with them though.
A ridiculous take, for millionaires. I’m Seeing former athletes in their 70s and 80s very spritely on the news these days, golfing etc. Gerry Lopez ripping in Mexico in his mid 70s.
You have an argument for not having any more kids at all, but the age of the man makes little difference as long as he has the financial resources.
A much better criticism would be that narcissists should recognise their horrible condition and choose to not have kids.
Again, sorry but thats my opinion. Graduating high school with a near 70 yr old dad is just weird in my worthless opinion.
Get back to me when you have a 38 year old Gal at 54.
Can’t, I’m already past 54 but I tried to pre-apologize. Just a take from an asshole though.
Kalani is “gorgeous”?????
Dez having mushrooms for brekky. Kinda looks like Sally Fitz without the cute accent
besmirching Sally’s looks are fighting words among some of us below the line denizens
Well, if you’ve seen my past posts you’d know, I think Sally is spicy ass. Dream girl.