"I rarely see any surfers with hair loss..."
The world’s greatest surfer was provoked, overnight, after Carnivore Aurelius asked its million-plus Instagram followers to consider “Why are there no bald surfers or homeless men?” In a series of slides, the beef-based supplement company made the case that balding is not genetic nor hair loss normal and that modern living, diet and medication are the actual causes. Proving that point, two pictures were provided as evidence. One of a “20-year-old man living in a high-rise spending $200 a month on ‘hair loss products'” with very thin, receding hair. The other of a “random 40-year-old homeless man that hasn’t taken a bath in 10 years” who looks like Barton Lynch.
The other major problem is men staying indoors. “Hair loss is generally from a sunlight deficiency, grounding deficiency, mineral imbalances and excess stress,” Carnivore Aurelius explained, adding, “I rarely see any surfers with hair loss” providing the caveat, without further expansion, “yes Kelly Slater is bald.”
Many more slides followed but for the TLDR crowd, the caption summed up the point:
Hair loss in your 20s isn’t normal, and Minoxidil isn’t the answer… nor is a trip to Turkey. Your hair is a mirror of your metabolism. lose it young and your body is telling you something much bigger is coming.Fix the root cause–sunlight, red light, thyroid support, seed oil elimination, zinc, beef liver, colostrum, collagen, and yes, disappearing from modern society helps too.
Well, Slater, ever the jouster, answered the lead question, why are there no bald surfers or homeless men, with a real zinger.
“Cause they fly to Türkiye?”
Hammertown and The Roast of Kevin Hart-level funny. Imagine the streets of Istanbul just choked with bald surfers and bald homeless men.
Very silly.
But seriously, are you won over by the argument? Is your lineup filled with hirsute mans or are the Luke Cedermans well represented?
If you were won over, you can shop an assortment of colostrum, collagen and beef liver pills here then report back regarding results.
Good luck.
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I think they do it to throw us off on picking our fantasy team.
More dudes jerkin it to Andrew Hubermann than Riley Reid these days
HaHaha it’s the implementation cuz….chee !
Hey some of us men are bald AND homeless.
(finger guns, a wink and that clicky mouth sound)
Let me guess it involves Flick
I’d prefer not to hear anything about Tyler. Thanks.
Think that’s the 3rd time now I’ve seen him ask. Guessing he’s an only child.
But I thought you were plugged into the WSL on a personal level? Why would you need “some local fella” to tell you this?
Joe’s still limbering up. I hear he gargles a solution of jordy’s tears and Tyler’s menstrual blood that he keeps in a jar with a mermaid’s heart.
Shhhh. You’ll scare the horses and someone’s left the barn door of the entire Australian economy wide open.
Wait….are you trying to tell me that Joe Turpel has been lying to smooth the unnatural edges of the WSL corporation?
How long has this been going on?
“This swell will fill in today (Thursday) ahead of a peak through this afternoon, before easing from a slow 2-3 foot on the sets inside Manu Bay tomorrow morning. Saturday will dawn with lower period, leftover 2 foot sets.
Local conditions look OK both days – bumpy early but improving by midday. Mornings will see moderate east-southeast devil winds adding up-the-face, epoxy-hating chop which will ease as the day heats up and wind swings to a south-southwest angle.
Expect action to kick off early and finish late, all run with overlapping heats
On Sunday, one of those aforementioned distant swells will arrive. Not a typical Raglan swell, it’ll come from a strong frontal progression to the south-west of Western Australia – 6,500kms away.
Fetches of near storm-force winds aimed slightly towards the polar shelf follow a Great Circle Path under Australia, around Tasmania, and up the Tasman.
The swell should build towards an inconsistent 2 foot to occasionally 3 foot into the afternoon Sunday, before easing into Monday.”
Sounds almost unsurfable.
They are just prepping for no waves, and so they can finish the remaining heats with a surfboard swinging session in the carpark.
Is there a carpark?
On that nice grass then
Thinking about dumping another 20 USD on Surfvival but the forey has me stumped.
That sounds like what a gambler would say.
Chances are you will lose it again.
Go spend the $20 on something better
ok cheers Pop.
need some more Pagey wax.
At least you will be able to hold and rub the Pagey Wax Guaranteed with your own hands.
The other is basically just a Pipe Dream
you’re full of wisdom Pop.
Next year join our Fantasy game. $100 NZD in. Two custom Timmy Pattersons up for grabs and your money back if you win an event. Get to play the whole season.
How many people in it?
About 30
OK mate, will do.
For now bought a leggy and two blocks of wax.
Talked to Finn who does LAGO podcast- they will have a commentary stream on You-tube channel tomoz.
Typical Plumber sniffing out some more cash, haha
Smelt an opportunity
Everyone isn’t quite there behind the scenes yet. But I live in hope that one day the WSL will be a ultra flexible machine capable of really zoning in on locations and swells.
It looks like a really good wave when it is turned on.
We have all watched finals with like 4 waves ridden in 1 foot at some of the best places.
Something different is worth the venture. Even desert NW WA with the gnarly lefts can reel out to nowhere in the end..
All about the beginning, different judging criteria… No end Twirly Birds to save the day
Over Joe’s dead body
he is not lying
The things you “Own”
Own you
But what the fuck can you do
Get drunk and forget about it and RAG on RAGLAN
at least we should see heaps of waves ridden then.
they will be sucking up every last bitter drop from this lemon of a forey.
I’ll be there in the trenches.
Hair adjacent picture
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
How good is Buy Now Pay Later- fuckign awesome.
Do you have it in the states?
“Gold is the money of kings, silver is the money of gentlemen, barter is the money of peasants, but debt is the money of slaves.”
Guess who invented interest on debt??
Hamas?
Close!!
Oh, who could it be?
dem Joos or Kiwi plumbers?
hahaah
All the other trades can wait
Kiwi Plumber…..
“Your Sewer line is blocked FFS. That is the price to fix it TODAY. Everyday the price will go up by 35% as the smell gets worse”
The merino class!
The code of Hammurabi talks about interest in Mesopotamia about 5000 years ago. This is about 2500 years before the hill tribes in the southern Levant began to coalesce around Yahweh warship.
you just pay in instalments mate- no interest.
small fee.
I wouldn’t have any new boards or wetties without it.
Ok. Never done it.
been saving for a gearbox for the last 2 years and still managed to keep the quiv and wetties current.
v. grateful.
Aussie invention btw.
It works well, if you are sensible and use it wisely.
I guess the model gets propped up by those whose are not sensible.
I would never use it on Technology again, as when it came time to cough up, you were paying FULL PRICE for 5 year old tech, which felt stupid, when there was so much better options now.
But it would be no different than just buying it outright at the time.
Like I said, It is a net to catch non sensible cunts.
It was basically just a GE Credit card with 30% Interest….
The gearbox?
Subie transmission.
I remember all the “5 years interest free” stuff 30 years ago at all the big name shops.
All they needed was a few paychecks, a signature and spend away. Small fee account fee too of course.
Ohh yess spend away I did. It was fukn awesome…
Fine is you pay it back in time, then it becomes just a credit card with almost 30% PA interest on unpaid debt.
And your shit is now 5 years old and not cool anymore.
Fine if you are sensible and can swim through the net of compounding debt for a fuckn TV or Surround sound system… Hahah
The net catches many and turned their $2000 debts INTO MOUNTAINS
yeah, thats the old 50 months interest free from Harvey Norman scam that Sally Fitz is spruiking.
It works fine if you have an income, and don’t have the savings for necessities like a new fridge, oven or 98″ OLED TV and PS5 PRO….
It is a net that catches the poor as Blowin hinted.
The rest swim through the mesh, the poorest get trapped forever….
Man, I’ve only recently been learning how the ultra wealthy use debt to preserve their Principle.
File it under the shit they should’ve taught you in school but never will.
All I have even been told is you need is more debt to continue to prosper, so you can continue to buy even more debt, and buy bigger and better.
Debt is like a tree, from the trunk up, It can spread, until one diseased “branch” of debt, borrowed upon debt, borrrowed upon even earlier debt, kills the whole fuckn tree.
I am SO FUCKING LUCKY I can live Debt free and have never been happier.
But that is also a TOTAL FUCKN LIE!!!!!!
In costs each year, it COSTS a FORTUNE to just EXIST without even flinching
Rates, Water/Sewerage, Home Insurance, Car Rego and Insurance, Internet access and Smartphone, Gas, Electricity, Fuel, etc…
I love Sal more than Barney does.
probably get the shed on Afterpay.
or in Barney’s case… a barn.
Pretty sure half of mates there wouldn’t have clothing without it.
was watching a bit of the warm-ups today….top turn, cutback, top turn, cutback x 10, and thought the only thing that will save this event is a large swell. cuz, dang it looks very boring. every surfer looks the same with the exception of Toledo and Italo.