GOAT etc.
There is no doubt in my mind, not even a hint, that Kelly Slater will be studied by great thinkers and distinguished scholars for centuries to come, if the earth don’t burst into a giant ball of flame first. His singular exploits on a surfboard, yes, his various positions on medicine, the globe’s relative roundness, how and when and what to name a child, all yes, but most ink will be spilled, I believe, on the perpetual surprise of his great fortune.
Yesterday, we have one of Slater’s favorite waves on earth, Teahupo’o, swinging its waiting period gates open wide for the Outerknown Tahiti Pro and who is slotted in as the wildcard? Well the 11-time World Champion himself.
Again, Slater wildly surprised by his selection, declared, “I’ve been coming here since 1993 when there was no one even surfing here so it’s always nice to come back. This year definitely looks different to any other year though having my two young kids here. I’ve had a lot of special moments here over the years but I think winning with my kids here would be the best. It’s going to get big though, so I don’t even know if I’d want them in the boat really. We’ll see though, it’s just cool having them in a place that has meant so much to me over the years. The forecast does look challenging with plenty of swell and lots of wind. I think it will be a bit of a check it on the day situation because it all changes a lot in this part of the world. There’s going to be no shortage of swell, that’s for sure.”
What great fortune, indeed, but then the ocean, stormy and angry, gifting him with such waves. Slater, ready, paddling in, becoming very barreled, happy, afterward, in the channel.
The great thinkers and distinguished scholars will pour over available data points, I would imagine, examining whether Slater had the ability to bend the universe to his will or whether he just carried a perpetual wining lottery ticket. They will zero in on his reaction to each instance of favor, the wonder on his face, the startle in his words, in an attempt to understand how luck works.
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It would be so awesome if the best surfer in history was a cooler, better person.
“The great thinkers and distinguished scholars will pour over available data points, I would imagine, examining whether Slater had the ability to bend the universe, etc,etc….”
And they (the great thinkers? surfers?), will realize in a hurting world that Slater’s so called achievements did nothing to improve the world and in the final analysis, did not matter much at all……,
ps
and they will record as a footnote;
that so called pro surfing had basically died and was in the process of being buried till Dr Frankenstein (Dirk Ziff) stepped in and resuscitated it with an infusion of $$.
Yawn . . .
Post heat interview Ross tells The Great Baldini that he now has forty nine 9 point rides at Teahupo’o. Kelly, realizing immediately that that figure is incorrect, appeared ready to correct Ross but Ross quickly amended the record before Kelly could.
Total psychopath to know exactly how 9 point rides you have in any given event off the top of your head. He probably knows how many 4.75’s he gotten too.
1993? A bit late, I would say.
Mike Stewart and Ben Severson went to Tahiti in the summer of 1989, they came back to Hawaii and said that their bodyboarder friends had taken them to a wave they said was “better than Pipeline”
Everyone laughed, because “Hawaii has the best surf in the world, brah and no place is better than Pipeline!”
When I went to Teahupo’o with the Local Motion team in May of 1991, there was no one surfing at the End of the Road. No boats, you had to paddle from the beach and no one in the lineup.
Teahupo’o was only surfed by bodyboarders a few times per season as no one wanted to drive that far when you could surf good waves with all your friends at Taapuna!
yawnnn
Your pantry contents would all be in a grid fashion with the labels facing out would they not ?
Claro que si, señor!
Arranged in a meticulous flowing colour spectrum according to official Pantone® colour chips –
Aren’t yours?
For all his foibles in any thing other than the complete self serving pursuit of riding an ocean wave, he lorded yesterday
Knowing that Outerknown(overpriced clothing) is a named sponsor while likely spending all of their annual free cashflow, assuming they have free cash flow, for the sponsorship rights leads my feeble mind to believe KS earned his wildcard spot via the wallet. Good for him!
Now Chas, you had me at “There is no doubt in my mind, not even a hint, that Kelly Slater will be studied by great thinkers and distinguished scholars for centuries to come” as those scholars will likely spend decades interpreting his seminal works and IG writing the same way past scholars interpreted the Dead Sea Scrolls. I suspect there will be conflicted interpretations of his work just as there was with the Scrolls and specifically the findings of John Marco Allegro who outlined much of his work in The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross.
Who will be the scholar writing the controversial analysis of Slater’s greatest efforts?
Fox news intern
Is she a blonde and does she sport the Mar A Lago look?
Felipe absolutely shitting himself right now
Seth’s first wave was at least two points higher than Yago’s
They juiced Yago with an 8 and he still got murked.
How’s it looking
unruly
Good!
Live chat is up
chas must be too busy cleaning up the mess he created while writing this article to create a live chat
Ok 8.17 got carried away
they need to get another camera angle, the tower shot is near impossible to see
WSL finally gets its waves, and ruining them with Kaipo, Flip, Strider, and Turpel. Classic.
the yeti’s may be flowing today
Felipe’s food poisoning kicking in right about now.
do you think he even got in the boat?
First wave a fucking ten!!!!!!! Go Seth!!!!!!
Seth with the unscripted bomb
Yago must be stressing.
Holy shit
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…
Not BAAAAAD, now who wants to love on that GOAT?
Hope they make it through the full round!