"I think about quitting all the time…(pro surfing) doesn't fit my personality."

The big American with the even bigger ass, triple world champ John John Florence, has pulled back the curtain on his private life with a finely crafted sixteen-minute edit of this year’s Australian leg of the pro tour.

John John, thirty-two, husband to Lauryn Cribb and daddy to baby Darwin, was named after the brave little boy, not even three years old and trussed up in a powder blue peacoat, who saluted his dead daddy’s casket in 1963.

A lesser known fact, of course, is John F Kennedy junior got the John-John tag from a White House reporter who misheard JFK senior calling him John twice in a row. No one in the Kennedy fam used it.

In the edit, simply titled Road Trip Through Australia, we see the day-to-day lives of the Florence brothers as they range from Bells to Margaret River, lighting up even the most meagre waves, and the hearts of little fans, wherever they go.

Enjoy it while y’can, of course, because as John John told our old pals at The Inertia,

“I think about (quitting) all the time. It’s hard for me sometimes because my personality doesn’t fit (competing) so well. And especially the new tour over the last couple of years, the environment of it has changed a lot. It doesn’t fit my personality even more so.”

The sort of waves that make something nasty well-up in your throat!

The two younger Florence brothers, Nathan and Ivan, have stuffed their burned-out rods into another battery of big waves, this time at unnamed reefs in an unnamed country that has left the internet sizzling.

Watch as Waterman of the Year Nathan Florence enters waves at such an angle he comes down vertically with acceleration produced by sheer gravity, the wave hissing and whizzing all around. The moments are captured on land and on a little POV camera.

Ivan, meanwhile, has all the big-dicked quiet machismo of a Laird Hamilton although the attention his surfing brings seems to fit like an ill-fitting suit. His edginess has gifted him a sponsorship with big brother John’s company Florence, but that don’t mean he has to bend or change or be faux-interesting to suit anybody.

Lift the eyebrows, twitch the Tom Selleck lookalike moustache, shake the head.

Ivan knows all the audience needs is the shock wave of pleasure from the thrill of his tube riding, which he delivers at a lefthand reef .

There are plenty of hard motherfuckers around but they all dick-soft compared to the Florences.

Essential.