Watch: A full-blast compendium of brave
bull Mason Ho’s most diabolical wipeouts!
By Derek Rielly
A bag of horrors!
Any hole, any pit, for Mason Ho and damn the
consequences.
Pleasure, as Mason, who is thirty three, knows, is the first
sweetmeat of reason. This short video is a compendium of Mason’s
most spectacular wipeouts, all cock, knees, balls, thighs, pussy
and belly in a basting of blood, the soap and towels followed by a
round of goodbyes.
Mason credits his survival to his use of CBD oil and believes,
says his filmer Rory Pringle, that “it’s a big part of why he’s
able to handle wipeouts like this.”
Hard not to admire.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
White goes for Boz.
Graphic: Sixteen-foot Great White shark
bites off teenage girl’s leg in wild existential tug-of-war with
rescuers, “I felt a pop. I thought ‘I hope my leg dislocated
because if it didn’t it would be gone’ and I looked down and my leg
was gone.”
By Derek Rielly
“It was like a puppy chewing on your finger.”
Here’s a piece of footage, old as the hills, just got
spat out on Discovery’s Shark Week again recently, but,
god, it’s wild.
American Heather Boswell is nineteen and on a six-month tour
working in the galley of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric
Administration research ship Discoverer.
Three hundred miles east of Easter Island, Boswell and pals take
a day off to swim and snorkel.
Boswell is stalked and hit by a sixteen-foot Great White.
It grabs her leg (“It didn’t hurt at all, it was kind of like a
puppy chewing on your finger,” she’ll recall later) as she tries to
swim away.
Crew members hold out a broom to pull her in.
“When they were playing tug of war with the shark they reached
down and grabbed my arms and pulled me but the shark still had a
hold of my left leg,” Boswell would tell Oprah. “There was tug of
war and I felt a pop. I thought ‘I hope my leg dislocated because
if it didn’t it would be gone’ and I looked down and my leg was
gone.”
On the home video we hear screams and as limb separates,
“Oh my God… It took Heather’s leg off.”
Boswell describes the event as “really really rough” and that
she “felt like a ragged doll. And then when he brought me back up,
I didn’t feel pain then either, all I felt was a pop. The shark bit
most of my leg.”
After she was dragged aboard Discoverer the White went
after another swimmer who was hanging off a ladder.
A few shots fired by a crew member sent the fish back to whence
it came.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Best tube contender. Don't know who it is,
been staring at computers too long, eyes real bad.
Snapt4 is a little different to most surf movies. It
offers a hundred gees in prizemoney to the best performances in the
film, as judged by red-hot buttons, Taj Burrow, Bobby Martinez and
Mick Fanning.
The film stars Mason Ho, Jack Robinson, Clay Marzo, Ultimate
Surfer Zeke Lau, Seth and Josh Moniz, Baz Mamiya, little Parker
Coffin (the unpretty Coffin brother), Benji Brand, Ian Crane, super
Jew Eithan Osborne and sexy as all hell Carlos Muñoz, each surfer
risking their balls in the fire ’cause Logan is their friend.
The cash is districted thus, fifty gees for first place, twenty
for second, third gets ten, best barrel, ten gees and best
manoeuvre ten gees.
“They will have all month to score the sections individually,”
says Logan. “The surfer with the highest section total between all
three judges wins . This will be announced early December in
Hawaii. Until then will let the viewers chime in on who they think
won.”
Who y’thinking’s gotta get the cash?
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Kalani Lattanzi clings to the flying trapeze
as he's launched across the yawning void.
Brazilian bodysurfer stuns world by riding
giant wave at notorious Hawaiian outer-reef Jaws, “Kalani goes into
the ocean where fish are afraid!”
By Derek Rielly
Kalani Lattanzi belongs to the
knuckle-duster-in-your-face school of surfing!
A Brazilian bodysurfer, Kalani Lattanzi, has stunned the
world by taking on Maui outer-reef Pe’ahi, aka Jaws, with just a
pair of swim fins, a hand plane and a tight-fitting pair of
trunks that barely contain, let’s be frank, the hatbox
that is his loins.
Lattanzi, who is twenty-seven, and who now lives on Maui,
gathered all his virile strength to swim out on November 2, a
little after lunch, on the first real Jaws day of the season.
Lattanzi rode three waves before entering and, importantly,
exiting the void on the wave filmed below.
He describes the experience as “beautiful” and says it was the
best barrel of his life.
When BeachGrit called, Lattanzi was deep in
construction work, three hours or thereabouts to go before he might
engage in conversation, although in other interviews he has
described Jaws as being a little easier to ride than the devil that
is Portugal’s Nazaré.
Last year, Lattanzi released his biopic Kalani: Gift from Heaven, which
follows his adventures there.
“Kalani goes into the ocean where fish are afraid,” says one
fan.
More to come.
Loading comments...
Load Comments
0
Jordan, looking like a Martian in his Jozi
hotel room.
South African superstar Jordy Smith reveals
his (almost) descent into COVID-lockdown madness in a Jozi hotel
room, “It was as full of the vibrations of power as machines which
rout out grooves in wood!”
By Derek Rielly
But only a disdainful pinprick! Surfs first South
African winter in fourteen years…
In the second of a series of five-minute films, the
South African superstar Jordy Smith, who turns thirty-four at his
next birthday, reveals how he and his wife extracted themselves
from America just as that country was starting to reek with
COVID; a fundamentally grim place to be for a boy and his
girl from Cape Town.
A flight to Johannesburg followed by two weeks in a hotel room
that had a way of extracting his vitality, like clotting blood;
this little airless box soon filled with a combined odour of clam
shells, salt marshes and sicking brews, much like an unwashed
corpse.
But enough with the niceties!
A thirteen-hour drive and Jordy is home in Cape Town, bobbing
like a cork in as good waves as you’ll anywhere in the world.
“In the South African winter you don’t want to be anywhere else
but right there,” he says.
Next episode: Watch Jordan play with danger at Jeffreys Bay!
