Watch Joel Parko, Conner Coffin and Rodney Dangerfield in “My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend!”

Coffin bro's take a big bite of Kirra…

Does it fascinate you, as it perpetually fascinates me, how God rarely parcels out her gifts without adding a cruel joke as an addendum?

If we’re to take the Coffin brothers, from Santa Babs, as an example, we see the elder, Conner, given beauty and style but attached to an endomorph frame that all the weightlifting and calisthenics can’t prevent from looking doughnutty.

Think: Queen Latifah.

Parker, meanwhile, has a face Jesus himself would find hard to love but gets humour, a body like a Paris shower boy, and a chocolate sprinkle smile.

Think: Rodney Dangerfield.

In this ten-minute short, Queenie and Rodney fly to the Gold Coast  for Cyclone Oma, ride on Joel Parkinson’s jetski ‘Milkshake’ and visit the forcibly-retired-from-the-tour, Matt Wilkinson at his truckstop diner on the NSW-Queenland border.

Watch: Mikey Wright and co in “Tough guys don’t dance. You had better believe it!”

A show-reel from Gold Coast filmmaker Billy Lee-Pope that comes at you with a tearing sound… 

Here’s a hard and sharp three-and-a-piece minutes that comes from Billy Lee-Pope pictures. Y’heard the name? He’s the filmer, editor, who creates our Anonymous surfboard test clips and who is widely regarded as a kid on the up and up.

The Gold Coast is noisy and ill-lit and more than ordinarily crowded and a dubious place to exist in more ways than one.

Billy gives it colour, a little hope and makes it seem like a Garden of Eden.

Watch, I think, even suggest.

Watch Stephanie Gilmore in “The new patron saint of tuberiders!”

A South Pacific alt-universe with an edit by, and of, the world champ… 

Stephanie Lou Gilmore will always be in a lane of her own for those who appreciate style and the machinations of tuberiding.

If you’ll excuse the vulgarity, necessary vulgarity I think because I use it only to make a point, I’d suck a thousand clappy dicks to surf with the elegance of the thirty year one year old from Tweeds Heads.

In this three-minute short, shot by Wade Carroll and edited by Gilmore, we are gifted tuberiding as effortless as Gilmore’s seven titles.

Riding tubes, as we all know, is not something given to you, but something you gain.

And you gain it by winning small battles with honour.

Gobbled alive: JOB fans turn on master in “Disrespectful”, “Cringy”, “Worst-ever” VLOG!

Japan surf-and-snow episode an epic fail, say triggered fans…

What’s the ingredient that makes Jamie O’Brien’s vlogs compelling? Like Koa Rothman, like Ben Gravy, Jamie seems to wink and pucker out little kissies.

He’s a likeable host, is never too cruel, never too vanilla and can flap his wings at fifteen-foot Pipe. His usual sidekick is the Californian everyman, Sean “Poopies” McInerney, who became Jamie’s friend when he moved to the North Shore eight years ago and rented a room. Before long, their dangerous friendship became YouTube history. 

Together they make a good team.

Poopies is Lewis to Jamie’s Martin. Laurel to Stan etc.

In this episode, Jamie visits a snow festival and surfs in the very cold water of Hokkaido. His travelling pals include “Laird” who announces, loudly, that he is “going to mess with some people.”

Which he does, in a full voice that hurts like a thousand fire-ant bites.

Jamie’s fans bared their teeth.

Jamie your good people.That kid your hanging with though, he can rationalize it how he wants but he need to grow up hell hurt your views. stay behind the camera

Laird needs to go man. Ive been a huge fan for years but hes trynna be the new poops and its not workin

That was embarrassing to watch, felt like watching the Logan Paul vlogs in Japan

ou’ve heard it enough to know it’s not just a couple haters. Laird is a straight up kook. Dude acts like he’s on drugs or desperately crying out for attention or maybe it’s both. #ditchlaird

Everyone sees it Laird is a full on kook not funny at all, clean house James this was uncomfy. Sorry Brah

There are just too many ways to act inappropriately in Japan…..I think you guys nailed em’ all…

I quite enjoyed his acrid friendliness. You?

Watch Griffin Colapinto in: “This is the shit you read about, ladies and gentlemen, in the newspapers! F*ck!”

A thirteen-minute coda of Griff's 2018 Hawaiian season, Sunset, Pipe and so on… 

Like most of you, I find little to be ecstatic about in the overuse of slow-motion and ultra high-definition vision in surf edits.

What I get a kick out of is fly-on-the-wall documentary, little moments where we get to know a person, his habits, the way he talks, reacts to people, walks.

This edit, which compresses a few weeks of Griff’s Hawaiian season, hits us with both.

We get the RED, which ain’t so bad in this case ’cause Griffin is a mature artist in command of his powers, style wise, but what makes it is the off-the-cuff gear.

See Griffin with beautiful foreign girl in one-piece yellow swimsuit. When he asks her to DM his Instagram account, she tells Griffin she already has while provocatively swinging what one hopes to be experienced hips.

Kolohe Andino howls “Ow, ow, owwwwwwwww!”

See Griffin at Pipe, before and after, exchanges with Joel Parko and so on.

I do think this featurette would’ve had more weight if it’d been loosed a week or two after Pipe finished, but as an examination of a man with modesty and moderation and charm, it’s a charming enough rendezvous.