Real: ‘Cape Fear’ terrorizes LA suburbs!

The original masterpiece of revenge, confrontation and murder (hassle)!

The Palos Verdes hardcore locals, known as the “Bay Boys” who made news a few months ago for murdering hassling a British reporter are back! The Los Angeles Times headline screamed:



I can’t go on. Gang mentality + middle-age surfers = haha

Read the story here!

And when y’done there, read super designer Dave Carson’s piece about living and surfing there. 


Brazilian supermodel gal Sofia Resing loves surfers!
Brazilian supermodel gal Sofia Resing loves surfers!

Just in: Brazilian supermodels prefer surfers!

More evidence of Brazil's decent into total surf madness!

WSL CEO Paul Speaker recently suggested 29,000,000 Brazilians watched the Fiji Pro final (here). Just crazy for the surf! New evidence, released today, continues to point to the South American country’s slide into total surf madness.

Brazilian supermodel Sofia Resing, speaking to GQ Magazine, says:

“I love watching soccer…” she says “…but I love watching the surf thing as well. I think Brazilians are more proud of our surf guys than our soccer guys.”

Whoa! Wow!

Sofia Resing Nude
Ms Resing, mostly nude on the cover of French Revue de Modes.

She plans on going bodyboarding in Indonesia and to Burning Man. How does a man get her attention?

“A tall guy can get my attention…if he surfs.”

Owen Wright…that sounds like you! Book your ticket to Burning Man, son. Book it before Brazil gets cured.

Watch here!

Brad Domke on big wave
Brad Domke, whom you see here, is the second-best skimboarder in the world! But who be number one?

Meet: the best skimboarder in the world!

And it isn't Brad Domke!

Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking Glass was one of my favorite books as a child and  Humpty Dumpty’s explanation  of The Jabberwocky my favorite part. It introduced me to the idea of portmanteau words and instilled in me a belief that writers get to shape language, not just employ it.

Thanks to this video I’ve got a few additions for the lexicon:

Hilarishame – the feeling when you’re disappointed in yourself for finding something funny.

Pathetirad – a spectacular disaster that is the inevitable result of encouraging an idiot’s terrible decisions.


Outside Magazine maligns a surf legend!

Outside Magazine, from Santa Fe, dreams of Olympic inclusion. Yuck!

Outside Magazine, from Santa Fe, New Mexico, loves to wade into the surf like all inland peoples do. They love the wash of saltwater on their sunburned skins! They love being beachy! They love feeling the sand between their toes and their Teva sandals! And today they published a treatise on why surfing should be included in the Olympics (read here).

The author argued, I think (I’m drunk!) that surfing should be in the Olympics because Samsung sponsors the WSL for some totally sham amount that Paul Speaker has made up (don’t forget that Kelly Slater earns lots more than 20 mil a year) and that Go-Pro’s kook founder Nick Woodman surfs and Go-Pro is worth billions but mostly because high quality artificial waves are a distinct possibility.

Have you ever seen one (an honest quality artificial wave not a Paul Speaker or Nick Woodman)? Me neither. But Outside‘s author ends his passionate bit by writing:

“Why not give the thousands of talented young surfers with Olympic dreams the chance to express their art form, be it in salt or chlorinated water?”

Viva Rick Kane! Viva New Mexico!

(PS. The maligned surf legend is none other than Matt Warshaw. I think. I’m drunk!)

In Defense: of the expensive t-shirt

Kelly Slater launches Outerknown and Instagram melts down.

Kelly Slater and team officially launched OuterKnown today and bravo to them and let us celebrate! Outerknown, according to the website:

… explores the relationship between function, style and sustainability. As designers, it challenges us to build better, more sustainable products. As producers, it asks us to lift the lid on our supply chain, bringing the consumer along on our journey to transparency. As storytellers, it enables perpetual evolution of our brand vision. As athletes and performers, it pushes us to formerly impossible levels. As global citizens, it offers the opportunity to observe this multi-cultural world we live in and bring together seemingly unconnected people and ideas for the purpose of discovering the next Outerknown.

Kelly announced via Instagram and the people went crazy with celebration!

“How can you sell something called the ‘Vagabond Cargo’ for $195? You know what vagabond means, right?”

“No one is going to buy a $120 shirt.”

“Way above my pay grade. Holy shit.”

“Nope. Keeping my dollars.”

“RIP OFF!!!!!!!! Good luck selling this overpriced crap.”

“I can use $100 to better someone’s life rather than blow it on a tshirt.”

“Outerknown? More like Outofmypricerange.”

And, come now, people. Why so sour? I will admit that to buy expensive just to look expensive is very very un-chic. The boys with designer scoop necked Ts at the bar are silly, they just don’t know it yet. “Updated Pauly Ds” as my wonderful friend calls them. Clothes, in fact, that say “look at me” are not good. But quality costs money. Fit costs money. Proper drape costs money. Sustainability costs money. Part of the reason this globe is sinking into a warmed abyss is because cheap consumer goods.

I really and truly hate defending the expensive t-shirt because it has become such a “thing” but you all made me do it.

So fuck you.


Come here to see Kelly’s shoot with Ben Watts, dressed in Ok, for GQ. 

Go here to shop.