Can you ride waves up to 6 ft big? Get ready for
fame!
You are never going to be a World Surf League
champion. You are never going to win a WQS event or even a
Junior. You were not built with stellar DNA and that is ok. Neither
was I. But guess what? We could BOTH of us possibly win the Salt
Life Food Shack Florida Big Wave Challenge!
Surfing Magazine’s famed Jimmicane filled me in on this
little gem being run out of Florida where the biggest wave ridden
during a three month period, in state, gets you 5k and laid and
that’s right. You and I standing shoulder to shoulder with Makua
Rothman and Greg Long as balls-to-the-walls hellmen. You and I
winking at Keala Kennelly and her death defying Teahupo’o
drops.
“That Chopes was heavy, eh KK?” We could say.
“Yes.” She might respond.
“Well, I know how it feels, babe. I stroked in to a six foot
bomb off New Smyrna a couple days ago. Sand bottom. Gnarly. My bro
almost couldn’t duck dive it but it’s cool, he made it out the
back. The thing was almost over my head…”
And how impressed would she be?
Very impressed.
The rules are simple. Ride and photo/video your Florida bomb
between July 15 and Nov 1. Get laid.
It all happened so fast! In just one dazzling
year, the carrot-haired former sparring partner of Shane Dorian,
one of the leaders of the so-called Momentum Generation,
has become the number one voice in surfing.
It isn’t hard to see why. Those liquorice lips hurling
blaxploitation and early hip-hop smilies, actual recent-ish tour
experience and a candour that, to use a slightly spicy American
idiom, “cuts through the bull.”
Ross Williams is the WSL’s own Marv Albert, but without the same
ability to pair heels and dress.
Today I asked Ross for a post-Tahiti rub down. It’s an email
interview, as these things tend to be these days, so I couldn’t say
things like, “You’re full of shit! Pour another drink!” to create
some kinda rapport.
But!
Two important points emerged: one, Julian will most likely win
the world title and, two, Gabriel’s ass is fried…
BeachGrit: What was the most significant, moment, for
you, in Tahiti?
Ross: Jeremy’s win was really cool. It was nice to see his hard
work pay off. From a year ago with his incident at J-Bay evoking
punishment in the form of watching Tahiti unfold right in front of
him – that event being one of, if not the, best events of all time
at his personal favorite location. That situation lit a serious
fire inside to not only appreciate his “job”, but to embrace the
opportunity to compete at his personal best. Now he’s come full
circle with his steady comeback trail in competing and rebounded
from his life-changing injury just prior to this year’s South
Africa event. Considering all of that, it has to be one of the most
impressive wins in surfing history.
BeachGrit: Adriano leads the ratings. What chance do you
think he has of winning the world title?
Ross: Obviously Adriano has a good chance. Leading now and
heading into three events where he can win let alone get solid
results. That being said, momentum is a funny thing and it’s
currently not on his side. He’s one of the hardest working guys in
the game and his approach is so comprehensive.
BeachGrit: Trestles, France, Portugal, Hawaii. All I can
think of is Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel, Gabriel. Give me your
thoughts on a beautiful last-minute title defence for the reigning
champ?
Ross: Gabriel has found his 2014 self. It went missing for a
minute, but he’s back to his normal status of not just winning
heats, but smashing them. I think he’s dug himself too big of a
hole to win the title, but he will be in the Top 5 no problem which
is a commendable follow-up year.
BeachGrit: How’s Kelly looking right now? What’s
working, what’s not?
Ross: Kelly is ripping. He’s a bit preoccupied with his business
adventures, but he’s still definitely surfing at a level that’s
good enough to win events. If he can clean up the mini-blunders and
keep his wave-catching rhythm throughout an entire event, he can
still win. If he manages to get in the hunt by year’s end, he will
be without a doubt the favorite at Pipe.
BeachGrit: Filipe, like Gabriel, is going to go crazy in
these last few events. What kinda shot has he got? What might stand
in his way?
Ross: I’m curious how he’ll bounce back at Lowers. Now that he’s
had a couple slices of humble pie, I hope he continues his
swagger-like approach. He’s so confident on those kinds of waves
that he achieves two things at once: his opponent is baffled and he
believes in himself enough to not fall on huge moves where most
tighten up. Mentally, this is power that he needs to maintain to do
well.
BeachGrit: Name, for me, the final eight surfers at
Trestles…
Ross: Filipe, Julian, mick, Kelly, Owen, Adriano, John John and
Gabriel. Not sure if it’s possible with seeding and the draw but
you get the drift.
BeachGrit: It’s early, early, this I know, but give me
three names coming to Pipe as the world title
contenders.
Ross: Mick, Julian and Owen
BeachGrit: And who will win?
Ross: I’ll go out on a limb and say Julian. He’s looking razor
sharp this year. Arguably the toughest year in a long time to
determine who will win though. It’s a total toss up. Kelly, ADS,
Owen and Filipe still have a shot.
If you have a bun in the oven get ready to change
the name!
Surfing has had some wonderful names. Miki Dora, Sunny Garcia,
Christian Fletcher etc. etc. etc. Which is your favorite?
Mine used to be Creed McTaggart. I’ll always remember when he
strode into the Stab Magazine offices as a shy thirteen
year old boy. He was introduce and I belted, “Creed McTaggart?
That’s the best name in surfing!”
And it has been up until this very day. For I just learned of
another under sixteener named Sunshine Coaster Reef Heazlewood and
wow! (read about him here) Have you ever heard
something that sings “surf” so loudly? He is competing in some
contest Joel Parkinson is throwing over the weekend. “Joel
Parkinson” has as much ring as “Brett Simpson” i.e. none.
If you are having a baby you can go to this website here and pick a surfy sounding
name for either boy or girl. Enjoy!
"There was no swell in the ocean so we decided to
hit the streets!"
Catch Surf got some good exposure on Fox News
recently. It’s kind of funny, you should watch it.
But it’s hard to laugh, because I hate myself right now. It is
absolutely firing by my house right now. There’s a left that looks
like fucking Western Australia come to Kauai belching its guts out,
a right careening off the point and bottoming out across the
inside, and I’m too scared to paddle out.
It’s something I’m struggling with. Almost two years out of the
water, I feel so out of shape, no confidence. Rattled when it’s
overhead.
Shame is a powerful motivator,and, sometimes, looking in the
mirror and saying, “What the fuck is wrong with you? Get your act
together, you pitiful pile of shit!” is enough to get the ball
rolling.
I tried to bodysurf yesterday because I didn’t think I could
punch a board through the inside and spent two hours pulling back.
Finally caught two waves and went in. Not super proud of myself.
It’s not like it’s that big. Butterflies would be fine, full blown
puss-out is not.
I think it’s okay, though. Shame is a powerful motivator,and,
sometimes, looking in the mirror and saying, “What the fuck is
wrong with you? Get your act together, you pitiful pile of shit!”
is enough to get the ball rolling.
I guess I could give meth a shot. That should work with both the
confidence and the weight.
Every day these things drop, like nuggets into
a McDonalds fryer: cheap and momentarily pleasant but with a
sickening aftertaste. There’s so many of ’em, maybe half-a-doz a
day, that they elude any concept of good and bad. Our ability to
discern gone forever.
And there’s something like this.
Where so many surfers, even among the best, struggle with their
airs, looking like huge, awkward chickens torn squawking out of
their coops, Julian Wilson is a flying volcano.
That sharp oop-and-a-quarter just before the one-minute mark
shows Wilson to be in marvellous voice.
And, mentally, let’s read as Julian swings a scimitar at the
famous Proust Questionnaire, seen below.
Your favourite Virtue: Industry. Your favourite qualities in a man: Integrity and
loyalty. Your favourite qualities in a woman: Kindness,
self respect. Your chief characteristic: Perseverance. What you appreciate the most in your friends:
truthfulness and sense of humour. Your main fault: The sometimes impossible pursuit
of perfection. Your favourite occupation: Surfing. Your idea of happiness: Home. Family. Love. Your idea of misery: Permanent disability. If not yourself, who would you be? Adam Scott. Where would you like to live? Near my family. Your favourite heroes in fiction: Peter Pan. Your heroes in real life: Mum+Dad. Your favourite food and drink: Roast Lamb and
milk. What you hate the most: Thieves. World history characters you hate the most:
Hitler, Stalin, the usual. The natural talent you’d most like to be gifted
with: The ability to draw. How you wish to die: Content. What is your present state of mine:
Determination. Your favourite motto: “Forever fun”.
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Jon Pyzel and Matt Biolos by
@theneedforshutterspeed/Step Bros
