Rich Porta breaks down Kelly Slater's attempted air at the Hurley Pro…
Did I ever tell you about the time I became a WSL judge, if ever so briefly, at the US Open? And how, upon throwing open the door to the judges’ tower, I was greeted by naked pro surfers serving food while studs or “cockmongers” (a young pro chosen for his large penis) fondled each other in front of the judges, arousing them greatly?
Of course, the conspiracy shit that surrounds the WSL judges is as dumb as it is awesome to read. And, Rich Porta, the Australian head judge, is anything but secretive about how the game is called.
In this clip, Kelly talks through the air he nearly made at the Hurley Pro; Rich explains why it got such a shitty score.
Kelly is forensic, as usual, and admits to thinking, since he landed in an explosion of whitewater, maybe he’d be able to ride out of it and no one would know a thing. Occy did it back in the eighties at Huntington and won the contest.
“I felt like I screwed up a normal air reverse,” says Kelly. “I didn’t realise I was so detached from my board. My knees smashed into both rails ahead of the deck pad and perfectly on a plane…I got off my knees and onto my feet and I realised I was in the whitewater. (I thought) it might almost look like it was landed…”
Y’ain’t fooling Rich Porta.
“You’ve gotta remember this is the best 34 surfers in the world,” says Rich. “They have to complete these manoeuvres. If you do the most amazing aerial in the world, the most amazing aerial the world’s ever seen, and you land on your belly, it’s an incomplete manoeuvre. Everyone has to realise it’s an incomplete manoeuvre. It’s worth nothing. The surfers know all that. There’s no dissension among the athletes about that score.”
And if he’d landed clean?
“The score would’ve been no problem,” says Rich. “It would’ve been a ten.”