Want to surf the Pipe? Want to stay on the Shore?
You can! And it won't cost a dime…
Headed to Oahu this Winter? Want to save a
little money? Don’t mind screwing someone over, as long as they
deserve it? Then you are in luck!
Did you know that there are only 828 legal vacation rentals on
Oahu? And only 177 are outside of Waikiki!
Now, you’re probably thinking, “How can that be, Rory? I looked
online, there are, literally, thousands of places available. You
can’t be saying that they’re ALL illegal?”
That is exactly what I’m saying.
Which is a problem, you know, for the people that live here.
Every apartment, or condo, or stand-alone house used for short-term
vacation rentals is one less available to residents.
Now, I know that there are those among you who think that you
should be able to do whatever you want with your property, in spite
of any negative consequences for your fellow citizens. And I guess
that’s okay. I think you’re a greedy asshole and I hope your dick
rots off, but you’re entitled to your own opinions.
And, thanks supply and demand, the spots left become
increasingly unaffordable.
Now, I know that there are those among you who think that you
should be able to do whatever you want with your property, in spite
of any negative consequences for your fellow citizens. And I guess
that’s okay. I think you’re a greedy asshole and I hope your dick
rots off, but you’re entitled to your own opinions.
The thing is… well, I guess I believe that part of being a
society is living by its rules. Unless you don’t want to, but
there’s a downside to that.
We agree not to fuck each other over, to play by the rules, to
perform at a minimum level of decency. And the bar isn’t really
very high.
But when you decide to pick and choose the rules you’ll follow,
well, you just have to accept that other people can do the same. If
an employer feels it’s in his best interests to shave wages, then
his employees have every right to rob him blind.
Or, if you feel that you can turn a tidy profit by illegally
renting out a home you own, then people can just decide not to pay
you. Morality is fluid like that.
And that’s what I’m advocating. Just don’t pay.
I’m well aware that most places require a deposit, and some even
insist you pay in full in advance. But a deposit is still far less
than the total cost of stay, and you can usually talk your way
around paying in advance. After all, you haven’t actually seen the
place, and how do you know it’s even legit? Tons of vacation rental
fraud out there. You wouldn’t want someone to take advantage of
you.
You can even be real ballsy, put in on your credit card, then do
a charge back. Or stop payment on the check. Use some pretense,
that it wasn’t as described. It doesn’t really matter.
Because your erstwhile landlord has no recourse!
If they try and sue you they’ll end up in small claims court,
assuming the total you owe is under $5000. But the thing is,
serving a small claims summons to someone out of state is nearly
impossible. And it won’t come to that anyway.
There’s a ton of money in renting a place out for $300 a day
when its fair market month-to-month price sits around $2100, and
the idea of losing that income stream is terrifying.
While enforcement of short term rental laws are nearly
non-existent, possible fines are actually quite large. Do you think
a property owner will be willing to gamble a long-term meal ticket
over a comparatively paltry sum of money?
Better to just eat this loss and make it up by gouging a few
suckers with a bogus $500 “cleaning fee.”
Simply check the address against the linked list (click here). If its not in there, you’re in
the clear.
Spend the money you save on something fun, like a kitschy
ukulele, or a coconut painted with a sunset, or numerous blowjobs
from a series slag of strippers outside one of the numerous tiny
sketchy strip clubs sprinkled through the alleys surrounding Femme
Nu.
You’ll be glad you did!
