And other funny keyword searches that land you right here!
The end of the year is a bummer on the Internet. Twelve months ago I didn’t notice because your BeachGrit had just been birthed, traffic was slow and Derek and I were just trying to figure things out. Today, almost 2016, we are experts. People are generally too busy, it seems, with family and friends and drinking egg nog to go online and poke around. That’s what the office is for and nobody is at the office! So traffic slows and news dries up. Did you ever wonder why the majors like CNN, ESPN etc. turn to listicles in late December? Year in reviews? It is because you ain’t looking! You eating the turkey or drinking the champagne! Thusly, content is regurgitated and things are put on hold until January 3-ish.
But lists and year in reviews don’t feel fun right now so here, reprised, are the keywords that turn you on to BeachGrit!
My best pal Derek Rielly wrote the first of these not two months ago, saying:
Your electronic movements, however, are beautiful to watch.
For those unfamiliar with Google Analytics, it’s an application that tracks website traffic. More than that, it allows publishers to see how many readers are on the site, what country they’re from, the electronic device they’re accessing your site from, what story they’re reading, where they came from and where they go after you.
And, tellingly, what keyword searches got ‘em there….
Oh how funny! We laugh all the time and you can read those HERE but there is a new batch!
Like, Yao Ming! He totally is against the shark fin and I vaguely recall writing about it but so long ago and not in depth! Is that you Chinese government? Monitoring? If yes we love! We make our shirts in you!
Has anyone gotten laid while surfing? Do you think it is actually practically possible?
Who doesn’t love sugar mama stories? This, to me, points directly at our beloved Rory Parker. He has written enough of these to necessitate a whole search category. I wonder if he is a star in sugar mama circles. Do they have sugar mama conventions? Will Rory be the keynote speaker?
He totally is but why Google? Why not just let the man be? If you really want to be shocked, though, Google “occy karaoke.” The man is a wizard behind the mic. And by “wizard” I mean you will jab a fork into your ears.
But that is just rude. I don’t feel that is the kind of brand we sell here. Maybe head on over to The Surfer’s Journal?
Complex. A new fetish arising out of Utah? Why so conservative? Why just the lines? How did the bikini become lost? And even though it is, in fact, lost still just the lines? Such restraint!
But best. Do you think surf film’s gran-daddy has a very strange kink on the side? Or in the front?
What does that mean? Who are you BeachGrit consumer? I don’t quite know but I love!
I’m in the office, and thus, I’m also here.
And I coulda sworn Chas wrote a piece entitled “Coconut Wireless: Is Taylor Steele a Tite Fuck Watch?”
candid teen tan lines lost bikini – isn’t that a you porn channel? If not, it needs to be.