Come giggle at the "King of Instagram!"

I used to very much enjoy watching celebrities surf wrong. Wax the underside of board, put wetsuit on backward, put fins in backward etc. etc. “They so dumb!” I’d giggle, but the thrill dissipated over time. Surfing is, at its core, a set of byzantine bylaws always shifting, always moving slightly as if built upon sand. And so I’d forgive the celebrity his foibles as I forgave those learning on the beach and even, sometimes, my own (I didn’t start waxing my tailpad until this month! So late to the game!)

But now there is a new batch of celebrities to mock! Social media ones! These are, generally, shallow/misogynistic/pointless enough to mercilessly bash without a moral hangover. Take, for example, Dan Bilzerian. He is a trust funder who played poker, I think, then made a name for himself on Instagram, taking pictures of many women and himself being rad and cool and flying on private jets and looking at stuff. He, in fact, calls himself King of Instagram and just might be with over 15.3m followers. He wants to be an actor, loaning the movie Lone Survivor one million bucks, apparently, for eight minutes of screen time. He got less than one minute and sued.

In any case, guess what else? He is a kook! Three days ago he posted a photo of himself (he is always in the photo) gazing out at the Pacific, Al Merrick under arm waxed all the way to the nose. The caption read “Good gettin back in the water today w the gambling surf guru @ricksalomon”

(Remember Rick S? He was one half of Paris Hilton sex tape!)

And his board was waxed all the way to the nose! I was sent the photo by a very good friend and laughed and laughed at his idiocy without even a twinge of conscience and mocked and posted to Instagram. The wonderful @kook_of_the_day also posted with the funniest of hashtags including #royalflushtheyeastoutofthatsuit

I have been laughing now for one hour and feel better and better and better with each chuckle. Thanks for being a kook, Dan Bilzerian!