John John Florence suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune!
How cruel is this surfing world? One minute you are the past, present and future all rolled into one. The next you are a punching bag in lowly comment sections. “What the hell happened to John John?” the people type. “And Dane Reynolds is fat.”
I don’t actually know if John John Florence is well and truly past his prime. He did not live up to his competitive promise last year that’s for certain but there does seem to be an overwhelming exodus moving away from the once commonly held belief that the beast was the best surfer in the world. I’ve read about how “Mmmmm he can do a couple airs and get barreled but that’s about it…” I’ve also heard people say “He’s ok but Gabby is better.”
Again, true? Honey, there is no such thing. Perception is all that exists in this surfing world. There is no “winning,” no fastest time or highest jump or longest throw. So if the majority of people, or even a very vocal minority, feel John John is spent then he is spent. His fans could go red in the face explaining how technically advanced he is, how magical, how wonderful, but if their entreaties are met with indifference then they have failed.
Pure subjectivity combined with an ever faster spinning globe proves an almost impossible weight to bear. Brother Andino, barely into his 20s, gets described as a has-been. Jordy Smith, still three long years from 30, has been a has-been for the better part of a decade. Kelly Slater is, somehow, the only surfer not governed by the laws of our universe and JJF ain’t no Kelly.
Can he soar again? Most certainly! Our cruelness is only matched by our fickleness. What wonderful traits we all share!
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For people like me, and I’m majority, who only see these guys surfing on the WSL webcast or in surf videos is pretty hard to compare surfers. Specially if they are as talented as JJ and Medina. Obviously competition is not the best way to measure a surfer talent. But what about surf videos? Is it fare to say that JJ is a better surfer than Gabby based on surf videos? JJ makes a bunch every year. Medina can be seen in some Rip Curl edits and that’s pretty much it.
Hum…look at our past champs and then ask yourself how much credibility does it hold. Whose expectations ? Who cares ? His sponsors. You can’t get paid billions a year without having some expectations on you, it is a fucking huge investment and the actual ROI is………………zero. Oh no wait we have a Rio Pro win and another in France. But none at Fiji, Teahupo’o or even Pipe whereas he’s supposed to be some sort of new prophet on those waves. I tell you, some voices are starting to raise and not only from guys like me…All JJ has to do is to work a little bit, like every guy on tour does. Not complicated when you’re talented like him
People are stupid
John John passed his prime after his 1991 Oprah appearance…
People are stupid
If only that were true…
HE cares if HE never win a WT, believe me…
Is there anything lamer than public opinion? The wretched idiot cousin of Democracy. Like a dog running in circles trying to lick its own genitals. Imagine relying on it for a living!
Nick Carroll’s a fascist!?!?! Is it because public opinion canonized his brother? Isn’t there a related episode in the Old Testament? I bet Curren would know.
If I started surfing like ADS my friends would bash me. That’s our world champ.
…what if you surf like damien hardman, at least would be twice as champ… front pad ‘n all…
my dad surfs better than the ice man the 91 world title should be his. we now know who’s posters ads had on his wall as a young kid
efficiency is a bitch…
I feel that in every post Mr. Chas Smith makes, more than half the public overlooks the ironic and satiric intent. A literal-minded ship of fools…also the most offended by Mr. Smith’s wagers.
I think the satire aspect is pretty obvious…. also he knows what he’s doing. mentioning gaybriel and john john in the same article is guaranteed to rile up the comments section. it’s really slutty.
Of course it’s obvious. Of course it’s intentional. And if it’s getting him casual sex with acquaintances, then maybe it’s slutty. I’m just appalled by the literal-minded bogans that can’t come to terms with it and take it as a personal affront.
“Appalled” is overstating it, I’ve no emotional investment here. “Entertained” and “surprised” maybe.
ANGRY MEN YELLING WITH CAPS LOCK ON tend to just skim read at the best of times…
30 is the new 20 so give the child some time to rebirth and he will be fine…or burn out and become a depressed meth addict due to all the social media pressure brought on by an impatient public and media,…or live like taj and earn his 6m a year for the next 10 or 15, come agonising close to the top 5 a few time, console himself by becoming the King of jaws, winning the triple crown a few times and winning the groupie ménage a trios tour 6 years running.
Whores? Where????
Or two swabs of duct tape. Such unfortunate nipple placement.
I think one swab would be just fine.
Because his nipples are so close together.
There actually is “winning” in surfing. ADS and Gabby are the last two guys to win.
Your two year memory is an even larger anomaly than 3 years ago when you had no memory.
Still nothing to overshadow my chest
Fish and Chips are good.
As has been said before: if he didn’t look like Alfred E. Neuman’s first cousin, the world would be eternally enraptured with JJF, results be damned.
My wife insists that he’s cute. And yes, she’s seen him in person.
your wife’s a wannabee groupie or legally blind…
She drives a car everyday so that rules out blindness. Actually come to think of it….she teaches 7th Grade Special Ed so maybe that’s where her concept of “cute” comes from.
Do her insides melt at the sight of Brock Little in his prime? Mine do.
She barely knows Brock and that’s only because of Clark’s gallery in Haleiwa. We’d usually wander through on a crappy day and I’d have to remind her of who was who. Oh well.
“See that gorgeous specimen there? That’s Brock Little…”
I think the dreamy look on my face kinda freaks her out.
She must have seen Nathan or Ivan.
Nate kinda scares me.
Well it is sad to say that, but it’s true. If you look at the facts, John John ain’t no Kelly, Andy, Medina or even Parko…he hasn’t won a world title. He could be compared to Dane, but again, Dane has reached a status John John might never have if he keeps nose picking all year long. He’s a kind of modern Jordy Smith, a chick in freesurf and another on worldtour, never knowing where to sit properly or injured. I used to love John John and the way he surfed in competition, but now all I wanna do is grab a megaphone and tell him to choose a chair and move those fucking fingers out of his ass.
you guys are falling asleep at the wheel here.
Is Jack Robbo a has been yet, or is that next month!
Yeah I’m starting to realize a pattern here. Non-existent controversy is the new ‘content’
This ain’t no controversy. Just a hard truth. The tide of general sentiment has turned for the boy…
Agreed, not controversy. That’s what Blood Feuds are for!
It’s crazy, because if he were the eleventh-best doctor trying to cure cancer or sixteenth-best economist reducing income disparity, such negative public sentiment would never exist. Only in vapid pursuits do we crucify our savants.
So so so true.
So your a guy who ‘doesn’t actually know if John is past his prime’ but your damn well sure 10 people out there in the world think so, so why not write an article about it.
the tide if you are reading all the Brazilian’s comments on STAB maybe? hard truth? that shit’s comical. You sir, as a writer, now that’s a has been. real talk.
Opinion is all it is. Hard truth, tide of general sentiment .. blah bla
it is just some bulshit you sucked out your ass to knock up an article at the end of the week.
I think next week. Or that’s what my calendar says…
Still a “to be”. Soon though. That kid’s amazing.
Hyped on that kid getting in the mix ASAP, and the fact that surfers that Google his name will get a history lesson on the racial integration of American professional sports.
And a follow up piece aptly titled “what went wrong for Noa Beschen”