Update: The Eddie is half over!

What are your thoughts so far? Who will win?

And what do you think so far? Are you you awed? Merely intrigued? Do you think it stacks up favorably to the Jaws event? What about the announcers? How do you feel about the Freddy P. x Chris Cote collab?

Did you remember how steep Waimea is? Do you wish the announcers would shut the fuck up for just 30 seconds? 20 seconds even?

Do you like the Cinderella stories? Big Ben Wilko? Mr. Aaron Gold? How many times have you heard about him shaping his own boards? How many more times will you? If you were going to drink every single time an announcer mentioned Aaron Gold shaping his own board would you get very drunk or maybe would you die of alcohol poisoning?

How silly do the Titans of Mavericks Committee of Five feel for wedging Twiggy out of their event?

How happy are you?

Live: Eddie is going!

Your workday just got better! Instantly!

The Quiksilver in Memory of Eddie Aikau is underway right now and your workday just became a lot more enjoyably. It’s good Waimea too! Proper! Big!

I was just riding my own version of the Eddie. 5-7 foot Cardiff-by-the-Sea. Just barely overhead. I was on a gorgeous Vulture 6’4 pintail and almost got barreled (just kidding).

Watch HERE now!

Politics: The Gold Coast loses its mind!

The Gold Coast Bulletin crows, "It's a war of the waves!"

It is political season in America and I could not be more pleased. Every day features some melodramatic twist, some underhanded remark, some smear, some very hurt feelings. It is high theater. Better than any television drama or comedy.

Who would have ever guessed, for example, that Donald J. Trump would be smashing the Republican field? Or that a self-described socialist would be stirring the loins of Democrat youth? The public’s appetite is almost impossible to predict.

Take this photo for example. I saw it this morning in Australia’s Gold Coast Bulletin. The accompanying story reads:

Screen Shot 2016-02-25 at 7.19.28 AM

WITH good surf comes a war of the waves.

Gold Coast Bulletin photographer Jerad Williams captured a cracker photo at Snapper Rocks yesterday where a surfer is seen riding over a boogie boarder.

With packs of beach-goers making the most of ripper waves board riders are fighting for the best ride.

Have a look at the image above and vote in our poll on this story who you think has the right of way.

I clicked on the poll expecting an almost unanimous decision. The boogie has clearly dropped in on the surfer. No? Like, the surfer is closest to the “crest” of the “breaking wave” and all that. Yes? But in a stunning reversal of logic the boogie is handily beating the surfer by nearly 10 percentage points. Are Gold Coasters as wildly weird as Midwestern Americans? Do they view the world through race baited lenses? Would they be voting for Donald J. Trump if they could? Screen Shot 2016-02-25 at 7.14.35 AM

Watch: The Eddie Live on CBS!

But why bother? It's not that hard to hook a laptop up to your flat screen… 

The Eddie has a greenlight for Thursday! Or Friday, if you’re one of the unfortunate souls trapped on that treacherous hunk of upside-down rock known as Australia.

Of course, we all know that means nothing, other than tons of exposure for a floundering surf empire. The Bay calls the day, and all that. And the forecast shows there’s a very good chance it’ll be too big. Maybe Friday?

One thing’s for sure, I am super fucking glad I don’t live on the North Shore anymore. After Monday’s closure of a 12 mile stretch of Kam Highway, which allowed in residents but was still a total mess thanks to redirected tourist traffic, things must be getting pretty damn frustrating.

Yeah, life on NS is great, but most people gotta head towards Town to make enough to live, and even if your employer is cool enough to let you skip a shift rather than sit in your car for ten hours to and from, he probably ain’t gonna pay you for the day. And it’s hand to mouth for nearly everyone.

Following the rather disingenuous announcement that the event will run tomorrow, maybe, it’s guaranteed that same stretch of coast will turn into a parking lot beginning sometime tonight, continuing into the weekend.

If you live East of Waimea, best to treat it like a natural disaster, head to Mililani ASAP, stock up at Costco, and ride the ordeal with a well stocked larder. Beyond being a total rip off, Foodland is going to be packed. And their poke fucking sucks, I don’t care what anyone else says.

I guess you could go the long way ’round through Kahuku, if you feel like making the longest drive trip possible on the island without passing through Nanakuli.

Second, it’s not that great of an event in person. It’s cool to say you went, but unless you’ve got the hook-up for the house on the point, or a pair of crazy eagle eyes, you’re really just watching tiny specks draw white lines a mile out to sea. The webcast is where it’s at.

I made the 14-mile round-trip bike ride from my pad in Waialua to Waimea for 2009’s event. Learned two things. First, I do not have the right muscles to ride a rusty beach cruiser that far. Was walking bow-legged for a week, felt like I’d played bottom bitch on an episode of Oz.

Second, it’s not that great of an event in person. It’s cool to say you went, but unless you’ve got the hook-up for the house on the point, or a pair of crazy eagle eyes, you’re really just watching tiny specks draw white lines a mile out to sea. The webcast is where it’s at.

Or the CBS Sports Network, a premium pay channel dumping ground for the obscure or unimportant.

I don’t know why they even bother, it’s not that hard to hook a laptop up to your flat screen.

Just in*: Mick Fanning calls it quits!

For the year! But maybe longer?

Last year was an exceptional one for Mick Fanning by every measure. What were some of your favorite memories? Remember the shark at J-Bay? The fight Derek and I got into about what is appropriate to post? His coming within a hair’s breadth of winning a fourth world title?

Is it any surprise that the man needs a year to himself? He announced today that he will only compete in select events and that’s all. Let’s read the WSL press release:

“Last year was definitely intense – what happened at J-Bay, being in a title race and the unfortunate passing of my brother,” Fanning said. “There was so much build up with everything happening. I got to a point at the end of the year where I felt empty. I didn’t feel like I had much to give back.”

“This year, I’m going to take some time off and have a bit of a personal year,” Fanning continued. “Just to regroup and re-stoke the fire. At this stage, I’m going to compete at Snapper and I’m going to compete at Bells and then I’m going to take some time off from there. They (Snapper and Bells) are two events that I love and I’d go crazy if I were sitting at home and couldn’t go surf Snapper. Bells is like a second home as well. From then on, I feel like I have to take some time away from the tour to get out of that sort of zone to see where my head is at.”

 He will certainly be missed and will also turn 35 in June.

Do you think he will come back or do you think this is it?

Will he very respectfully bow out near his prime and spend those salad years surfing perfect waves whenever and wherever he wants?

*I know “just in” four hours after everyone else. Sorry!