And, “Mobs of newbies are polluting the soul of the
sport”….
I don’t think anything, except maybe plucking the flower
of a delectable lover, gives me as much a thrill as
reading a new surfer’s complaints about the game.
You know these pests in the surf: oblivious to nuance, barking
“but I was on the inside”, rigorously paddling for every single
wave, maybe dressed head to know in some kind of lycra suit, with
hat secured to head via chinstrap.
Today at Slate, for instance, Sarah Gold, a veteran of
six years, throws close to 1500 words at her complaint that too
many people surf in her piece, “Hipsters are Ruining Surfing”.
Let’s examine.
“…when I finally hefted my first hulking, foamy soft-top board
into the waves, I plunged immediately back into my old love affair
with the ocean. And I’ve tried since then to arrange my spare time
around it: driving out of town to surf on weekends, planning
holidays in spots with good beach breaks. Since I learned to surf,
though, I feel like I’ve been mainly chasing—and hardly ever
finding—that elusive sense of solo communion with the sea. The
reason is simple: increasingly thick hordes of other surfers.
“As a relative newbie myself, I recognize the hypocrisy of my
complaint, which certainly isn’t a new one. After all, surfing
veterans have been grousing for decades about the ever-growing
ranks of “kooks”—clueless rookies—invading their home breaks. But
even a fledgling surfer can see that overcrowding on the waves
these days is real—and posing a threat to what many long-timers
call the “soul” of the sport.”
The risks to surf spots have become so critical, in fact—and the
desire to standardize waves for surf tournaments so fierce—that in
the past decade, at least eight attempts have been made to engineer
artificial breaks. These have all, thus far, been unsuccessful—but
the latest, a much hyped inland wave pool unveiled in December by
legendary surf champion Kelly Slater, has yet to prove itself one
way or another.”
Why are so many people surfing? This is where the story slips
from its hinges.
The reasons are listed: because GQ and other sexy
fashion mags are doing stories on it; the “steep increase in
competitive surf tournaments” … surf spots are disappearing!
Did you know? Let me throw back to the author.
“The risks to surf spots have become so critical, in fact—and
the desire to standardize waves for surf tournaments so fierce—that
in the past decade, at least eight attempts have been made to
engineer artificial breaks. These have all, thus far, been
unsuccessful—but the latest, a much hyped inland wave pool unveiled
in December by legendary surf champion Kelly Slater, has yet to
prove itself one way or another.”
Online democracy is the great equaliser, of course. And the
comments below the story tee off on the author.
“Summon the Whaaaaaaa-mbulance! Would you like some cheese
with your Whine?”
“You know, once you get past being a teenager, you
are supposed to grow past the whole “ugh, people who wanna do the
same things as me are so lame”.
“Jesus. Full of yourself much? Devoting one sentence to
saying “this may be kind of hypocritical” does not mean you’ve
addressed the issue. This sounds like an incredibly dull and
meaningless non-issue. You did not help it become more interesting
but my eye-rolling did increase.”
“This reads like a midwest transplant whining that Brooklyn
used to be great before all the outsiders ruined
it. “
“This article could have been written at any time from the
1950’s onward. It will probably be written again 50 years from
now.”
Maybe you agree with the author’s sentiment? Do you? Or are you
similarly haunted by these mouth-y pests?
