Do you suspect the farm-to-table movement is
bullshit, too?
If you ever worked in a restaurant you’ve
probably long suspected that the farm-to-table movement was
bullshit. Too difficult, too expensive. Profit margins are low
enough already.
The idea that restaurateurs would find a way to jack up prices
with pretty rhetoric, then cut corners to bolster the bottom line
is far from unbelievable. To be expected, more like.
A lot of the time it doesn’t matter, taste wise. An order of
battered and deep fried fish and chips slathered in tartar sauce
tastes much the same whether the fish in question is wild caught
Alaskan halibut, Vietnamese gutter fish or koi the dish washer
snatched from some rich dude’s reflecting pool.
I see it most often with seafood. Pretty easy to tell the
difference between truly fresh and previously frozen ahi. Or when
the waiter says their ono was caught yesterday, but you know it’s
off season and none of your fishing buddies are seeing more than
one or two at a time. A lot of the time it doesn’t matter, taste
wise. An order of battered and deep fried fish and chips slathered
in tartar sauce tastes much the same whether the fish in question
is wild caught Alaskan halibut, Vietnamese gutter fish or koi the
dish washer snatched from some rich dude’s reflecting pool.
Happens at the farmers market too. “Heirloom” tomatoes that are
suspiciously firm, uniformly red, and totally unfragrant. Or
“local” Dole pineapples, when everyone knows there’s almost zero
chance they were grown in Hawaii. Much easier to keep a cutesy
project farm on Oahu, but import the things from Honduras, or
wherever.
Not that I think it truly matters, beyond the sting of being
misled and overcharged. If food tastes good, it tastes good. Apples
don’t grow well in Hawaii, better to import them and use the land
for something that thrives. And I rarely order fish when we go out
to eat. Ever since I got balls deep in the spearfishing game the
stuff you pay for tastes like garbage to me. Fried baloney, I want
filet mignon.
The Tampa Bay Times has an amazing article up online
about the topic now. The writer went deep, contacting farmers to
see if eateries were buying from them (they aren’t). DNA testing
seafood to see if what’s advertised is actually being served (it
isn’t.)
For several months, I sifted through menus from every
restaurant I’ve reviewed since the farm-to-table trend started. Of
239 restaurants still in business, 54 were making claims about the
provenance of their ingredients.
For fish claims that seemed suspicious, I kept zip-top
baggies in my purse and tucked away samples. The Times had them DNA
tested by scientists at the University of South Florida. I called
producers and vendors. I visited farms.
My conclusion? Just about everyone tells tales. Sometimes
they are whoppers, sometimes they are fibs borne of negligence or
ignorance, and sometimes they are nearly harmless omissions or
“greenwashing.”
To a certain extent, I’m fine with industrial farming. Getting
produce out of season is great. If I lived in some frozen Northern
tundra I’d want fresh veg year ’round. Pickles and preserves taste
great, and are fun to make, but they don’t scratch the same itch
the fresh stuff does.
Straight up charlatans, on the other hand, fucking suck.
My wife forced me to buy some “organic” beef recently. Marbling
was terrible, I knew it would taste like shit. The red dyed store
line looked better. But, even though she doesn’t eat meat, I’m not
allowed torture beef. Only that’s all eight dollars a pound will
get you. Still haven’t found a proper butcher on Kauai, you’ve
gotta make do.
I ate less than half, gave the rest to my dog. He seemed to
enjoy it, though I later remembered why you shouldn’t serve a
french bulldog large quantities of beef.
While you eat your cheese at up to $26 per pound, he will
show you his “bible,” a photo album of his water buffalo.
It appears his bible is a fairy tale.
While he once sold his cheeses at St. Petersburg’s Saturday
Morning Market and other outdoor stands, questions arose that he
was substituting cow’s milk from Dakin Dairy in Myakka. Jerry Dakin
confirmed he was selling milk to Casamento, but said Casamento
hasn’t bought any in the past year.
In January 2015, Casamento was accused of animal cruelty
over a calf in Plant City found tied to a post too tightly, with an
eye injury and a rope embedded in the muscle tissue of its neck. In
February 2015 he signed a settlement with the Hillsborough County
Sheriff’s Office relinquishing ownership of the calf and agreeing
to have Brandon veterinarian Mark Mayo inspect his herd.
“He really did love on ’em,” Mayo said of his visit. “They
were a little down on weight. I wouldn’t say it was a severe animal
cruelty case. People have good intentions and sometimes things
don’t go well.
“He was talking about selling his herd.”
According to EcoFarm’s Jon Butts, Casamento sold his water
buffalo about a year ago, many for their meat. Butts took two males
and a female at his Plant City farm, but said Casamento has not
been buying their milk.
You can read the entire piece here.
Very well written, superbly researched, worth your time. Even if
you’re not some overly concerned foodie, it’ll give you ammo if you
feel like fucking with the ones you know.
