Huntington Beach now Great White capital of the
world!
Do you remember last year when a Great White Dive
Co showed us wonderful vision of sharks soaring like jet
planes? Click
here for that.
Beautiful, mystical creatures etc.
Although I long for meaningful interaction with the mysterious,
the prehistoric, I still kinda prefer ’em to stay in their part of
the ocean (Cape Town, WA etc) and leave my part of the world
alone.
This footage captured by Drew Palumbo at Sunset Beach, CA,
around midday on Monday, confirms that the Huntington Beach area is
also a significant Great White area, lifeguards reporting another
White sighting just the day before.
Let’s examine Drew Palumbo’s account of the event.
“I was out surfing with my friend Ben Slaybeck. After taking
some drone footage of him, I put my GoPro onto my 3-D printed
mouth-mount and went out to catch some waves for myself. Shortly
after, I paddled out toward a wave, pressed record, and caught a
Great White shark breaching from about a 100ft away or so. This was
in Sunset Beach CA, on April 18th around noon.”
Does this excite you as much as it does me?
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Update: Jumbo Surfer officially
“insane”!
By Rory Parker
Things are looking up for amputee jumbo surfer
facing elony terroristic threatening charges!
Yesterday saw another Kauai court appearance for Jimbo
Pellegrine, jumbo surfer, and things are looking good for
him. Or, as good as things can look for a man who lost an arm in an
auto collision and is staring down the barrel of felony terroristic
threatening charges.
Good news for Mr Pellegrine, but he’s not exactly out of the
woods yet.
The docs’ opinions serve as evidence, not grounds for dismissal.
Essentially, Jimbo’s attorney will call the two shrinks who say he
was nuts to testify, the state will call the odd man out. Whoever
sways the jury wins.
The state is also appealing the suppression of Pellegrine’s
blood test results, basing their arguments on the legal doctrine of
“fuck the fourth amendment, cops should be able to forcibly take
blood from people whenever they want for whatever reason they want.
Also, warrants are for fags.”
An absolutely disgusting maneuver, considering how well the
system is stacked in its own favor, as well as the fact that they,
ostensibly, represent the interests of the public. Sure, vampire
cops stealing blood is fucking great. Pigs breaking the rules
because they’re incapable of properly performing their duties is
even better.
But it’s not all good news for Mr Pellegrine. With his attorney,
Mike Soong, currently vying for a soon-to-be-open judicial seat
there’s a chance that Jimbo will need to find himself a new
top-notch legal mind.
Which would be a real pain in the ass halfway through an ongoing
case.
A dazzling short film that will have you on a plane
this weekend…
I’m already counting the days until Chas’s
return. Gotta pick up the slack while he’s gone, kind of
overwhelming. The internet is voracious, “Feed me feed feed me!”
But I’ve only got so much energy, dragging multiple posts a day out
of my head is gonna kill me quick.
So… aggregate type nonsense, here we come!
Have you seen 100% ALOHAMADE? Probably. It’s two days
old, ancient in online time. But I just got clued in this AM, maybe
it slipped under your radar as well?
Sheer ridiculousness, the little grom Eli Hanneman who opens the
show. Not fair for a little kid to surf that well. Makes me
jealous, kind of hope puberty tears him to shreds. Most likely
won’t, just hand him some muscles to compliment his steez.
Is it my imagination, or has Clay Marzo been producing a
mind-blowing amount of clips recently? He disappeared there, for a
bit. Good to see him back, that type of talent is too good to keep
hidden at scary secret Maui reef wedges. The push to get him a
wildcard at Fiji is surprising, I thought he didn’t handle that
scene too well.
Dusty Payne surfs so good, it’s a shame to see him struggle on
tour. Our weird obsession with heat scores results in the
squelching of so much talent. Why, oh, why can’t we embrace the
skate model and just look for clips?
You’ve probably already seen other angles of most of Slater’s
waves months ago, but they’re worth a rewatch. Dear Robert puts on
a barrel riding clinic, reminds us he’s still the best surfer in
the world, Tour results be damned.
We even catch a quick glimpse of… is that Mitch Coleborn? Looks
to be. The man once blew my mind on a windy shit day at Ehukai.
It’s fifteen minutes well spent, will make you wish you lived in
Hawaii.
Well, keep dreaming, sucker. We’re full up on haole transplants.
I got the last spot.
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Dear Rory: “Self-Loathing Log Lover!”
By Rory Parker
The best surfer is not the one having the most fun,
it's the one surfing the best…
Dear Rory,
I’ve been surfing half my life. I started off on
shortboards, but after an epic trip the Nicaragua a few years back
I don’t even want to look at a board below nine feet. Our gutless
waves here make for ugly speed pumps and flailing arms. I catch so
many more waves than I otherwise would, the rides are longer, and I
go out on the smallest ripple with my tanks. While I love loggin’,
I fear the learning curve for my next trip with real waves will get
pretty steep. Should I dust off the fish and grovelers and force
myself to work with what we’ve got, or continue on with the
log?
Self Loathing Log Lover
Dear Rory says: I adore longboards in barreling
surf. Get in early, set a line from behind the section, jam that
trailing arm in to pump the brakes and use the extra volume to
float over turbulence. Easy as pie.
But expensive as hell. Pulling in on a big board is a costly
habit. Fuckers snap like twigs, every blown section the recipe for
a split down the middle. Flapping sheets of fiberglass, an
expensive repair bill (I both hate, and absolutely suck at, doing
my own repairs).
I struggle with my love of logs. Left long flat spell shores far
behind nearly a decade ago, never really need one. Usually
a short drive to quality surf when you live on an island in the
middle of the Pacific. Actually look forward to those sheet glass
doldrums days. Makes for great visibility, an easy swim, fish on
the spear for din-din.
Little tangent here, gotta point out how weird it is that most
surfers spend their lives floating around the lineup without
thinking about what’s going on beneath the surface. Heck of a lot of cool shit going on down
there.
Longboards are fun because they’re easy. Especially if you’re
oafish enough (as I am) to duckdive the damn things. Really takes
away the challenge factor. Fly out through the lineup, push under
an oncoming, use that foam to rocket your way to the surface. Sit
deep, outside, take your pick of sets. Remember to take a break
once in a while. We’ve all be on the receiving end of a rapacious
dick using extra planing surface to cheat his way into every wave.
Super frustrating, totally rude.
I’ve been surfing my entire life. As long as I can remember. And
I’m a pretty good surfer. Should be, after roughly three decades of
trying hard. But, as I get older, I realize I really should be
better. I can ride a hi-perf sled well enough, if I’m on. Slightly
hungover? Rhythm a bit off? Then it’s hell. Flail and struggle.
Mistime turns, bog rails, generally fucking suck.
There’s no point in making things more difficult. The waves
allow what they allow, you surf how you want to surf. You could go
shorter, ride a little mini Simmons or retro twinny. But I wonder
if there’s really a difference, between them and a log. No
matter how you slice it, it’s just about making things easier. And
regardless of your cheater varietal, you’re always gonna feel like
you’re surfing better than you actually are.
Which isn’t any fun at all. The best surfer is not the one
having the most fun, it’s the one surfing the best. But I’m
beginning to wonder if I really care whether I’m the best surfer
anymore.
It’s hard to separate fact from delusion, especially if you
spend as much time as I do inside your own head. I’m huge these
days. Cultivated mass all the way up to 260, harvested my way down
to a current 230. Which is fucking monstrous.
At 6’2″ I carry it decently enough, and I’ve converted a large
amount of that blubber to muscle. But if I’m being totally honest
with myself I know I could easily ditch another 20 pounds by eating
healthier and doing some, ugh, cardio. And if I kicked my ass into
tip-top shape I could probably hop back on my low volume rides and
start blasting fins out again.
Am I gonna? I don’t know. It doesn’t sound very fun.
Recent visitors were on some crazy health kick. No sugar, no
carbs. They look great, but their diet looks like hell. Constantly
eating, always hungry. Don’t know if there’s a middle ground, but
if there is I’d sure love some directions to it.
Anyway… I guess I’m starting to believe that there’s no honor in
making things difficult. If you’re not looking to do airs, or win
contests, riding an unforgiving board in lackluster conditions is
dumb. Sure, when some guy who’s a foot shorter and a hundred pounds
lighter than me surfs circles through the lineup on a small day I
feel like a total kook. But it’s all give and take. Yeah, he can
blow up a waist-high section, but I can reach shit on the top
shelf.
There’s no point in making things more difficult. The waves
allow what they allow, you surf how you want to surf. You could go
shorter, ride a little mini Simmons or retro twinny. But I wonder
if there’s really a difference, between them and a log.
No matter how you slice it, it’s just about making things
easier. And regardless of your cheater varietal, you’re always
gonna feel like you’re surfing better than you actually are.
Maybe that’s the secret? Just embracing the lies we tell
ourselves?
Ride what you want at home, change equipment as conditions
dictate. And when you find yourself with butterflies in the belly
on your way into a offshore, top to bottom, foreign barrel, do what
I do. Heave yourself over the ledge a few times, use the beatings
to chase away the nerves.
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Delight: These Babies Surf!
By Derek Rielly
Don't you love the juvenile egotism of these
strutting baby surfers?
Babies are sensational little fucks. Cost
nothing to make, light up your Facebook page with likes, you can
dress ’em in little Stones t-shirts, they’re always eyeballing tits
and when you get old and demented they’re obliged, ethically, to to
clean your shit and find you a decent sorta old-age joint. Why
wouldn’t you love ’em?
In this new spot by the Swiss bottled water company Evian, we
see the wonders of computer graphics turning babies into surfers.
Wait, the whole beach is full of babies, pounding bongos, strumming
guitars, manning the bar, maybe even a couple playing with carrots
in the dunes. Who knows!
What’s the metaphor for it all?
The embodiment of youth! The childlike nature of the
surfer!
“We really like the surf universe,” the creative agency told
AdWeek. “Not just for the spectacular physical thrills, but
also for the healthy lifestyle, the philosophy and the cool spirit.
Very ‘Live Young!’ ”
Watch here.
(Editor’s note: Yeah, it’s a slow news day, as they tend to be
post contest. But don’t you love the juvenile egotism of the
strutting baby surfers? The sheer fantasy of the conceit?)