The tour's own Official Surf Forecaster throws shade!
Guess who’s in the water right now jumping and jiving on some windblown mess? Dat right girlfriend! Miggy Poops and Kanoa Igarashi! Dey gettin their game on! And…wait. What? You don’t care? You’re too busy looking at another batch of photos from perfect Fiji? Well sheeeeeeeeeeeit.
But I also can’t really blame you. My social feeds have been going bananas the last few days with banger after banger after delicious big ol banger from Cloudbreak. Surfline got into my action with a post reading:
While the WCT has been waiting and wallowing in Rio, guys like @bobbersandsinkers (Ryan Burch), @happyreef76 (Reef McIntosh) and @_balaram (pictured here) have been happily pulling into kegs like this at Cloudbread…
And did Surfline have to use the verbs “waiting” and “wallowing” to describe what has been going on in Rio? No! That’s what makes it a BUUUUUUURN!
Surfline is, last time I checked, the Official Wave Forecaster of the World Surf League so it is rude for them to criticize the surf in Brazil. Why didn’t you tell ya boyz it was gonna be yuck? Why you leaving them all hung out to dry?
Now it is Adam Melling vs. Seabass Z and do you think both of these gentlemen would rather be in Fiji? I think yes and that makes me think even more.
We live in the future. Why do the stops need to be tied to locations during specific windows? I know, I know…Infrastructure and blah blah blah. But, and again, we live in the future. I bet the whole show could be shot on GoPro and broadcast using two MacBook Airs and one iPhone. Or I mean Samsung. And speaking of Samsung…does that ad do anything for you? What about the girl whose dog has more followers than her? She makes me feel very angry inside.
But back to our plan. What if the tour just decided which waves were on and then went there when they were good for three days of hot action because the powers already got smart and realized they could cut the field down to twenty, or whatever, and nobody would be missed? What if we actually saw the best surfers on the best waves?
DAYUUUUUUM!
And now back to your regularly scheduled Mother of Dragons.
AKA Daenerys of House Targaryen, the First of Her Name, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar and the First Men. Lady Regnant of the Seven Kingdons, Protector of the Realm, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains.
I keep expecting the “girl with dog” to confirm Fido’s newly scheduled euthanizing.
Chas, How can you hate on a spot that you’re in? Are you wearing an Outerknown Sweater?
Mmmmm, wouldn’t mind gettin’ me a slice o’ that there Cloudbread….
Part of the problem is that we have had so many good to epic contests that anytime it’s mediocre we (I) find it mostly unwatchable. Windy Bells, weird Margarets, Brazil in general… we are jaded by Pipeline, Chopes, Fiji annually so the average contest looks worse and worse over time. Add the fact that we (I) love to bitch about the WSL and it’s a recipe for disaster.
ps Epic keg Justin Cote!!
Nice one, Chas (I must give credit where it is due)!
Nicknaming Jack Freestone “Daenerys” absolutely made my day haha
Ha! I’m still chuckling about it myself…….
It’s not just infrastructure blah blah blah… Imagine you’re some regular Joe who has saved up a whole year’s salary and filed for vacation to go to tavi, indo or Chopes and are just jumping out of your skin looking at the swell of the year that is going to hit while you are there… only to find out you’ll be sharing surfs with 20 of the world’s best warming up for the next best two or three days in which you can’t surf at all. Get fucked on that idea. Pros already get paid to surf. They don’t deserve the right to fuck guys (who actually BUY the trunks and wetties that inevitably support their lifestyles) out of waves they used hard earned cash to get to. Talk about biting the hand that feeds.
Young Padawan, just don’t be stupid enough to book your vacation down there during the WSL event’s waiting period and you’ll be fine. Unless of course you’re a depraved stalking groupie and you want a autograph.
You missed the whole point Pete. Chase suggested NO WINDOW. The pro just go wherever the waves are best whenever.
Ah yes, in that case I agree, the Tour would be much more exciting. However, I wouldn’t mind if they came to my home spot ( Landes – France) when it’s pumping because there is always another sand bank. But yes there is only one world class reef break in the mentioned countries in the article.
So… how to decide when it’s firing during a same window both in JBay and Padang? Pros would vote? Choosing Padang every year to avoid the african sharks? That would be discriminating for the ZAF spot, but I’m sure the Jbay locals wouldn’t mind lol.
Are the pros invested in airline shares?
If not, then it seems like a really dumb idea to run a contest on the aforementioned premises.
But then again Beach Grit is made by surfers and surfers are as dumb as they come.
I feel right at home.
I thought about this. If you are a regular joe who happens to schedule a trip that coincides with the swell of the year then you are smart/lucky and get to surf in WSL heats…until you lose.
That’d be funny as fuck to see Gabe Medina doing backflips at Restaurants while his competitor Jim Patterson, a full time accountant at Bank of America adjusts his booties after he kicks out of his 1.25 barrel dodge claim.
It’d be amazing, right? And don’t you think Jim Patterson, accountant, would tell that story over and over again? It would be epic for all!
Paid to surf indeed. Dane was earning nearly $10,000 PER DAY to just surf (not even compete). And that was just his check from Quik. The local boys are lining up to burn him every chance they get.
Does anyone remember the days when the AFL was created to challenge the NFL? Maybe it’s time some of the top riders got together and formed a new and better association. If the world knows Trestles will be pumping Aug. 15 – 22, that’s where the action should be. Until technology is developed the predict waves a year in advance, the current “hit and miss” system is a farce. I have an off the subject question regarding Oi Rio Pro. Is a tetanus shot mandatory before entering the water?
because it’s easy to get permits on a whim. But the beauty of capitalism is that if you’ve got an idea you can run with it. So, run with it and let us know how it goes.
Getting permits in California and Hawaii at the best spots is the furthest thing from easy. Perhaps in third world countries, money talks. You could pay the mentawai government some cool cash and get a permit I’m sure. But not in first world democracies.
he’s fuckin with ya, Stu
Ahhhh. I see that now. Shout the mouth too soon. My bad bitter and Trogan.
any other Ziff brothers with a bank account?
that’s exactly what I thought when reading Billy’s Dangerous Idea. How many newbie surf smitten billionaires are there?
How would feel as a local at any potentially epic spot in the world to know that 20-30 of the world’s best are going to swoop in on your spot during the best waves of the swell? No one is even stoked when three non-locals paddle out at one time let alone 30. Having a set window is more of a benefit for the locals so they know where NOT to be during that time.
Unless you’re in Fiji where the locals are chill as fuck and love it when the pros come to visit because they can beat their asses in ping pong…