This is why I don't gamble on surfing. Only chickens.
Day three of the men’s is windy and bumpy. The type of day you’ve gotta talk yourself into paddling out. Maybe you’ll snag a few, have some fun. Maybe you’ll be out of position all session and leave the water hating life.
The women were put to sleep during the lay days. Congratulations Tyler Wright. I love you!
John John’s heat total was a head scratcher. Barrel-to-tap deserved better. Great gouge but a fall on the “finishing maneuver” on his second scoring wave. He got the win he deserved, still underscored.
Dusty Payne likes vegan food! Which is good, I guess. Very healthful. Perfect excuse to link the following.
Pottz likes chicken soup! That’s crazy. I’d’ve pegged him as a chowder man.
Caio Ibelli got a nice little tube ride. Not really sure how the judges are scoring barrels these days. Nose behind the curtain seems to be a requisite for a score.
But this ain’t Pipe, you can’t sit ten yards behind the lip. I guess they’d rather see someone float the section. Or bottom turn around it, set up for a sticky “hack jam.” He definitely got robbed on the first one. Totally a make. Recovered from the layback.
What’s the deal with that? Sometimes you can flounder in the whitewash for days and it’s good. Sometimes it counts as falling. Doesn’t make sense. Shades of Airgate.
ADS with a cutback to floater for an 8. Gnarly little section at the end, for sure. But the cutty wasn’t much.
Igarashi wins the Most Brazilian Claim by a non-Brazilian Award for his happy clappy foam bonk 5.63.
Good on Medina for trying to surf progressively. Don’t two tap it for the score. Big frontside ankle exploder to the flats. Barrel to layback fin ditch. Knee killer frontside three to eat shit. Punchy windy slop, plenty of opportunities to go big. No one else really taking advantage. Makes sense, medium risk for high reward is the judging criteria for the day. Every day, really.
Jeez, I am really looking forward to Fiji. Fingers crossed they don’t get skunked!
Round four was a drag, Mainly because I had to watch it live. Rio really works best with a heavy heat analyzer edit. Much better when everything is wrapped up before I wake up.
J Flo/Toledo/Payne was pretty good. Nice to see Dusty making heats.
Only… can someone explain how his 7.93 was better than his 7.67? Am I crazy?
This is why I don’t gamble on surfing. Only chickens.
ADS fucking murdered Caio and Cathels. I think. Kind of hard to tell through a vaseline smeared lens. What’s going on with the cameras? Is it condensation? Can’t be salt spray. It isn’t big enough.
Dusty brought a pretty good victory interview. “I wouldn’t have voted for myself coming into this.”
Medina made Bourez and Freestone look like shit when he knocked them into the losers’ round. Combo’ed the field, dropped a solid ten. Flowing from a full roter into a reo is sick. Spoiled it a bit with the Urkel claim. Same one he dropped after the “flip.” Does he practice these in front of a mirror?
JJ barrel foam climb lip tap baby snap combo was underscored. A turn to reverse-most-of-the-guys-can-do-in-their-sleep got him 2.34. I don’t understand. I never understand. I’m so damn confused.
Ciao, Caio. You’re done for now.
JJ’s post-heat interview broke my heart. “I’m doing what I gotta do to make it through the heat. Not just kinda going free for all free surf.”
The Flying Llama got fucking robbed. A worthless tap on the end section of his second scoring wave would have put him through. Went for a huge air after his barrel, came unstuck, ate some shit. Nearly re-broke his dick.
Scoring like that just incentivizes safety surfing.
Mother of Dragons smoked Italian Ferrari. Maybe Freestone is figuring out this ‘CT gig. Anyway, the only reason I mention it is because I absolutely adore that nickname. Gonna run with it. Gave me an excuse to make this…

Ferrari’s heat-ender shuv-it was pretty cool.
Today wasn’t so bad. There were some gems mixed in with the garbage. Quick moments when I’m reminded why I bother turning in.