Fantasy: You can’t script this!

Did Rio throw a wrench into your game too?

We are almost to the halfway mark of the Men’s Samsung Galaxy Championship Tour brought to you by Jeep 2016 and how is your fantasy team faring? Are you riding a wave of unprecedented success that buoys each day or is your collection of professional surfers dragging you to the ocean’s floor like a millstone?

This is the first year I’ve actually participated and let me tell say, I thought I was learning the game. I started poorly at Snapper but had found my footing by Margies. I thought, “Yeah. I know these surfers. I know their foibles and their peculiarities. Time for Charles David Smith to put the pedal to the metal.”

But Rio absolutely smashed me. Destroyed not only my standing but my confidence. I had done what I thought you were supposed to do, pepper the lineup with a few extra Brazilians. They all lost. Everyone lost but Jack Freestone and John John Florence neither who were on my team.

I did so poorly, in fact, that I am throwing some of the blame upon the World Surf League. I know their motto is “You Can’t Script This.” But, really, Brazil seems like such an outlier, such a total crapshoot, that, in fairness, it is time to take it off of the schedule.

If you are a baseball fan you’ll recall when the Colorado Rockies entered Major League Baseball. The team built its park in Denver, a mile above sea level, and do you know what happened to the ball there? It flew! It flew through that thin air producing home run after home run after home run. A strange anomaly that was enjoyable at first but then tainted the game with weirdly inflated stats and bizarre games.

MLB has tried to fix it by making the outfield bigger etc. and it has worked, somewhat, but it would be better for everyone if the Colorado Rockies just went away.

Like Rio. It is out outlier. A strange burp that surfers don’t want to participate in and fans don’t want to watch. Its results aren’t reflective of the rest of the season and even though the WSL preaches unpredictability and chaos theory etc. etc. it is time to admit the mistake and relegate that event back to the Men’s Kyocera DuraForce GoPhone Qualifying Series brought to you by Peter Tosh’s used Kia Superstore: Kingston, Jamaica.