Matt Meola Purple Rain

Movie: Matt Meola’s Percocet Rain!

Does Meola make you feel slow and gobby and sticky on a wave too?

Some folks, notably the multi-instrumentalist Prince Rogers, get their kicks from Percocet and its family of opioids. Others, like Maui’s Matt Meola, are hungry for whipping the tail of their surfboard, and of soaring beyond the pontoons.

This edit by Meola, cut to Rogers’ old hit Purple Rain, from the 1984 album of the same name, and ranked 143rd in Rolling Stones magazine’s 500 Best Songs of All Time, makes me feel like glue on a wave, gluey and stuck and slow and gobby.

How do you get such…pop?

MATT MEOLA | FADE TO PURPLE from Meola on Vimeo.

Due to the severity of his injury Jimbo gets a pass on the, frankly, deplorable diatribe he unleashed on first responders transporting him to the hospital. Fair enough, the blood loss associated with limb loss would fuck up anyone. His ability to remain ambulatory long after having his left arm torn from his body by a passing tow truck is indicative of severe shock. Or just being the toughest craziest motherfucker alive. But that's not a legal argument.

Just in: Jumbo Surfer Walks Free!

The toughest, craziest motherfucker alive?

A legal drama for the ages has come to a close. Mr James Scott Pellegrine, known to the world as Jimbo the jumbo surfer, pleaded no contest to reduced charges and is now a free man.

In our last instalment we saw two of three doctors state that Harrison Ford is wrong. The one armed man was not responsible!

Due to the severity of his injury Jimbo gets a pass on the, frankly, deplorable diatribe he unleashed on first responders transporting him to the hospital. Fair enough, the blood loss associated with limb loss would fuck up anyone. His ability to remain ambulatory long after having his left arm torn from his body by a passing tow truck is indicative of severe shock. Or just being the toughest craziest motherfucker alive. But that’s not a legal argument.

“’As part of the plea agreement, Pellegrine was acquitted of two felony counts of terroristic threatening — a class C felony — in the first degree after two out of three doctors concluded that his volitional and cognitive controls were impaired with the loss of his arm’, said Michael Soong, Pellegrine’s attorney.”

No word as to the result of the county’s appeal of the suppression of Pellegrine’s blood draw. If one were of a speculative inclination they’d wonder if it were withdrawn due to recent news in which KPD Sergeant Overmyer was caught red handed continuing the department’s policy of vampiring citizens sans warrant.

“’It’s a legal dilemma, a conundrum as they say,’ Breiner said. ‘Certainly police thought that they required a warrant, otherwise they wouldn’t have requested one from the judge. And separately, they decided the hell with it, because there’s this statute that says we can do this.’”

The final result of Jimbo’s plea deal landed him a $94 fine and thirty days in jail for “reckless driving of a vehicle and driving without a license — both petty misdemeanors.”

Because Pellegrine already spent more than a month locked up Judge Kathleen Watanabe is considering his time served. As long as he pays the $94 he can put the entire situation behind him and return to his life of… well, I’m not exactly sure what it is he does.

John John Oi Rio Pro

Just in: John John takes Rio!

A blonde on blonder final!

John John Florence has just won the Oi Rio Pro again. It is again, right? He won last year, yeah? And what about Brazil, do you think, turns it on for him? Do you think the pressure just drains away in those warm samba nights?

I was actually cheering for his competition, Jack “Mother of Dragons” Freestone. Yesterday I posted his pic on Instagram and captioned it Mother of Dragons. He gave me an ok emoji and “haha” and then added “Mother of dragons, hopefully father of the Oi Rio Pro.”

Any surfer with a sense of humor is tops in my book. And look at how close he got. Second place! Step-father of the Oi Rio Pro!

Congrats to both and more detailed analysis soon.

But watch final here!

Watch post-final show!

Oi Rio Pro Men’s Final Results:
1 – John John Florence (HAW) 18.97
2 – Jack Freestone (AUS) 16.13

Oi Rio Pro Men’s Semifinal Results:
SF 1: John John Florence (HAW) 18.73 def. Adriano de Souza (BRA) 12.66
SF 2: Jack Freestone (AUS) 16.50 def. Gabriel Medina (BRA) 14.67

Oi Rio Pro Men’s Quarterfinal Results:
QF 1: John John Florence (HAW) 15.17 def. Dusty Payne (HAW) 8.50
QF 2: Adriano de Souza (BRA) 12.97 def. Davey Cathels (AUS) 10.00
QF 3: Jack Freestone (AUS) 12.50 def. Miguel Pupo (BRA) 11.60
QF 4: Gabriel Medina (BRA) 15.77 def. Adam Melling (AUS) 6.00

Oi Rio Pro Men’s Remaining Round 5 Results:
Heat 4: Adam Melling (AUS) 10.80 def. Michel Bourez (PYF) 10.00

2016 Samsung Galaxy Top 5 (after Oi Rio Pro):

Matt Wilkinson (AUS) 24,500 pts
Italo Ferreira (BRA) 18,750 pts

John John Florence (HAW) 18,700 pts

Sebastian Zietz (HAW) 17,500 pts

Caio Ibelli (BRA) 17,200 pts

Blood Feud: Sunny Garcia vs. Surfing!

A Blood Feud custom made for today!

Some mornings I wakey wakey eggs and bakey and nothing has happened in our surf world. Nothing at all. Maybe Shane Dorian’s super cute kids did something cute but that’s it.

Other mornings I wakey wakey eggs and bakey and Surfing magazine’s online editor Brendan Buckley has posted a story titled Sunny Garcia Hates Me and Sunny Garcia has responded directly on his Instagram with an added bonus of Joel Tudor weighing in and the Mother of Dragons is in the final against John John Florence guaranteeing that Futures Fins is beginning the greatest (fingers crossed) streak in sporting history (2x champ and counting) with the wild hopes of unseating previously 11x unbeaten in a row (can you even believe?) FCS.

I love Shane Dorian’s kids but these other mornings are better.

And let’s tuck in. First here’s Brendan on

Gabriel Medina landed an air at the Oi Rio Pro earlier today. It was a great air, a 10. Jimmicane snapped a photo of it and we decided to run it on Instagram. I was given the responsibility of captioning it. “Power surfing makes heats. Progressive surfing makes memories. Gabriel Medina just landed an air worth remembering at the Oi Rio Pro.”

And that’s when Sunny Garcia hated me. 

“…I bet whoever wrote this quote sucks ass at at surfing anyway [fist emoticon]. Good surfing is always remembered your Mag sucks now that Flame is not there”

“don’t get me wrong I love watching guys do airs but saying power surfing makes heats and airs make memories lol give me a break the person that wrote this is a kook”

Sunny is a power surfing god, guru, goliath and more. I love the way he rides waves and I respect him like I respect my father. And I wholeheartedly respect his opinion. But I’ll stand by mine.

Too many pulled punches at the end? Yes! But Brendan is a wonderful human being, handsome, funny, kind and more. I love the way he writes and I enjoy reading him like I enjoy my father etc. and you can read the rest of his opinion here but let us now move on to Sunny who took to Instagram this morning and wrote:

Had a long day yesterday and made some comments about power surfing on @surfingmagazine and as always they got twisted lol I’m a power surfer but I like good surfing by anyone but when a editor of a Mag says that power surfing wins heats and airs are more memorable I’m calling him out in it because the truth is incredible surfing will always be remembered regardless if it’s a air or @thomasvictorcarroll hack at big Pipe even if I like the later 🙂 Brendan Buckley I don’t hate you but you are a kook and @gabrielmedina fucking rips and there’s no denying that 🙂 and @surfingmagazine please get a new editor

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Who won the round? Who is more convincing? Maybe Joel Tudor? He came screaming in off the sidelines and wrote:

@sunnygarcia I’ve hated everything about that magazine since I was a child – they have told myself and @vans that longboarding is not a legitimate style of wave riding to be in the pages of their magazine! That was straight from the editors mouth —- flame was notorious for being open about how much he hated longboards – THAT MAG CAN EAT A DICK

No! Not Joel Tudor! In a surprise uppercut from the grave Surfing‘s legendary and dead photo editor Larry “Flame” Moore knocks out the competition and takes the whole feud! Longboarders objectively stink so terribly that our very own Derek Rielly has instructed his children to shoot them on sight.

Did you see that coming? Did you see Flame standing victorious at the end? That’s why I love these other mornings.

Mason Ho Uluwatu
A little Sammy Davis Jnr routine right in front of the cliffs at Temples, Uluwatu…

Mason Ho Plays Chicken at Ulus!

Artist and madman Mason Ho risks his slender limbs in front of 300 foot-high cliffs…

Life is short. It is also pointless, absurd, sad and, for quite a lot of it, plain wonderful. Twenty five short steps from being spat out of mammy to the dirt being shovelled onto your casket.

Therefore, when the noted shaper Matt Biolos suggested BeachGrit might want to join him at the Uluwatu Surf Villas during a shaping stint there recently, refusal, I believe, would’ve been the mark of someone who didn’t comprehend the brevity of existence. Words without experience are meaningless, as they say.

One highlight of the vay-cay was the showing of episode one of License to Chill. It’s a weekly series, filmed over the last two years, of Mason Ho and pals (mostly Cheeseburger, but also including Tom Curren and the rest of the Ho family) surfing around the world. Every Monday, for eight weeks, Licence to Chill appears on Surfline, with other outlets 48 hours behind.

I knew the series was coming ’cause BeachGrit was in talks to get exclusive first-run rights but we lost to Surfline, as was obvious, and as we must.

The first episode is notable for a few things: Keoni “Cheeseburger” Nozaki’s natural comedy routines (watch for his pre-surf warm-up!), Tom Curren surfing Uluwatu on a bodyboard and Tom and his son Pat’s outro jam.

But, the highlight, of this 17-minute edit, is Mason, this artist, this madman, surfing the ledge around the corner from Temples at Uluwatu, GoPro in his mouth, and playing chicken with the 300-foot high cliffs. Oh, you little deadly demon!