Not even counting a surf rabid India!
The number of people surf, worldwide, is maybe unknowable. What does “surf” mean for instance? Does it mean skim, boogie, body? Joel Tudor wants you to know that it sure as hell means longboarding, Surfing magazine be damned. And how many times must a person go to be considered a “surfer?” Once a year? Once a week? And must the “surfer” be in the ocean? Does it count if he wake surfs or river surfs or spends his days in Lemoore, California riding the trough-less wonder? All very imprecise.
Nick Carroll wrote a wonderful piece for Australia’s Surfing World two years ago titled Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics wherein he discussed the kicked about numbers. At the time he quoted the International Surfing Association’s claim that there are 23 million surfers in the world, 3.5 million of which live in Australia before quickly poking it with his fork.
You don’t have to think very hard about it to realise that the figure is a fantasy. I mean, just do a flat-line comparison. Three and a half million people is 15% of the entire population of Australia. Extrapolate that to Sydney with its 4-million-odd population and you’re talking about 600,000 surfers in that city alone, or about 15,000 surfers per beach. Yeah, we know Bondi gets crowded, but come on.
The rest of the bit is very good and he basically concludes that in Australia, which I would imagine to be the case in America as well, participation is decreasing while the age of participants is increasing. But maybe Nick Carrol should have gone to India!
The first ever India Open of Surfing is set to kick off so the World Surf League sent its Austral-asian manager for a peek. Mr. Stephen Robinson was very impressed, telling a reporter from the Times of India that along with the Philippines, Taiwan and Jordan, India is ready to go explode!
Wait, Jordan? Like, the country Jordan? With about 3 kilometers of beach at the very very tip of the waveless Gulf of Aqaba? That Jordan? I once caught amoebic dysentery in Aqaba and spent a long week hooked up to tubes in the hospital. In feverish episodes I dreamed I was T.E. Lawrence having crossed the Sun’s Anvil in order to take the city from the rear thus thwarting the great canons pointed outward. To protect their amazing surf, I now suppose.
In any case, Mr. Robinson warned India’s burgeoning surf class that surf fever comes with a few problems. “The situation (in Australia) can be such that surfers get in to verbal altercations over parking their vehicles.” But cheered everyone up by saying, “I have no doubt that there will be more youth (in India doing this sport) in future events,” adding against an estimated worldwide community of surfers of 30 million. “India will add the numbers (of surfers) in the days ahead, just as The Philippines and Taiwan did over the course of time that I have visited these countries on surfing duties.”
30 million surfers worldwide is a solid 7 million more than the most outlandish figure I’ve ever seen. And this does not include India and its ready-to-be-surf crazed 1.25 billion.
Do you think WSL CEO Paul Speaker sends ridiculous fun facts to his global managers every morning? Like, “Aloha gang! Hang ten and HOWZIT! Today’s fun fact…4000000000000 babies were born yesterday each named Robert Kelly Slater in honor of our new business plan. 80000000000000000 surfers paddled out at Snapper for evening gass off and another 9800000000000000000000 paddled at Trestles for Dorn Patrol. Killer Dana!”
Nick Carroll, would you like to go on a balloon popping mission to India?
I lol’d at the T.E. Lawrence ref – so much juiciness in just one sentence. Plus what about China? Another 1.4 billion potential kung fu fighting mofos waiting to gobble lineups like the cheap buffet at a 3 star hotel.
Imagine Chinese Caviera and a legion of followers talking about how you should come to Hainan so they can show you how Karate really works
Damn, mad articles. You are on a roll, just writing about whatever pops in your head. Keep it up. This is becoming one of my favorite websites
I don’t know Chas. Nothing makes sense any more. 30 billion surfers! I need to have a little lie down.
India, Philippines, Taiwan and Jordan are the new ring of fire. I ate the same fucking fish for six days straight in the Philippines with no refrigerator. Lost about 6kg. One night they cooked a suckling pig and I was salivating like a dog only to realise my Filipino slaves were complete morons and cooked it to the point there were only bones and ears left. Good joints though, even Jordan (not for surf).
Long article, Chas. You must be tired.
Has anyone asked Laird’s opinion on this?
I think we all know how Laird is a personal fascination of mine so I’m happy to make the first contact. Chas, you must have an in here somewhere we can exploit?
Does Kelly shave his armpits? Is that a thing now?
10 to 1 chance he has a plucked chicken.
whatever it takes man…….
Yeah, we get it, too many surfers, not as many as advertised, and you’ve been to the Middle East. Great!
Here’s a concept: For your next “Like, Bitchin’!” episode, I volunteer to be the first Beach Grit sponsored surfer. With your connections, we can swindle Biolos into giving me a free board, which I will then try out at Lowers, pretend I don’t like it, offering some flaccid critique about the “volume” or “entry rocker,” then take it home. You can show footage from the day of me ripping on it (or, more accurately, flailing my arms). I am open to merciless ridicule.
K.I.T.
KVF
If we fancied viewing surfing as a form of spiritual enlightenment/religion/mafia, it would only take one brief splutter in and out to be counted by the censor, wouldn’t it? My local baptizes about 50 mainly German and Russian tourists a day! Religion’s not a bad business model either Mr Speaker – we could even donate to the WSL when we do our tax declaration.
L. Ron Ziff?
Took about half an hour for my poor sleep-deprived brain to get that. Don’t get too much Scientology around here. I was thinking more old skool: https://www.youtube.com/wat…
No one else should learn to surf, there is enough of us already. We need
to start preaching that surfing turns you into a low life, degenerate,
no good, based out tweaker, stone hinging bane on society. Surf camps
should be held at inlets on out going tides and surf legends should now
be regarded as frauds who are addicted to ice. We need nothing but
negative press, rent is expensive enough at the beach, and the line ups
are overflowing with kooks.
“We need to start preaching that surfing turns you into a low life, degenerate,
no good, based out tweaker, stone hinging bane on society.”
Because that worked well for rock and roll.
Fuck, you are actually right… So what approach do we take? Say surfing will turn you into a emasculated cuck who goes to church 4 times a week?
Better.