This one will end badly unless Kelly Slater pays
up!
Say what you will, butTransWorld Surf
(RIP) under the benevolent dictatorship of Chris Cote was the high
water mark of the surf industry. Its PG-13 antics crackled with
juvenile charm! Its bright colors and razor sharp broisms
showed that anyone, literally ANYONE, could ride the wave to surf
fame and fortune!
Do you remember the TransWorld film Tomorrow Today? Of
course you do. It featured Clay Marzo, Dane Reynolds, Bob Martinez
and Mike Losness.
Do you know who else remembers it? Kelly Slater!
Our 16 time World Champ has decided to use Tomorrow Today as his
OuterKnown marketing campaign. Do you know who he has decided not
to pay for the honor?
OuterKnown billboard in Venice, CA!
Chris Cote!
Chris was in Australia, of course, calling Cape Fear and is now
in Brazil calling a skate event but would say…
“Kelly! Kelly Slater! I’m coming for you, Brozo the Clown!”
…if I called him.
What do you think Kelly should give to Chris? $8.50? His spot on
the WSL World Tour? Eight cans of Purps and one OK Beanie? Two and
a half barrels in the wave pool?
What?
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Doomsday comes to Cape Fear! Richie Vas, pictured here,
likes bare-knuckle fighting and bare knuckle surf. Does your blood
pressure rocket when you study this photo?
Rumor: Red Bull to launch Rebel Tour!
By Chas Smith
To include everything we've always wanted!
We have now had days to digest Red Bull’s Cape
Fear (aka Savages of the East) event and what do you think, removed
from its adrenalized rush? Did you hang on every meaty wipeout? Did
you thrill at the finish? Would you go and surf Cape Solander if
you could?
But let’s talk about the quality of the production, very
quickly. It was good, no? The cameras, angles, etc. were very much
better than a typical World Surf League event no matter how you
felt about the surfing (Matt Warshaw brilliantly says he doesn’t
like surfers turned into cannon fodder). The highlights packages
that have come out very much better too.
Of course it is really not fair to compare the two. The WSL has
many events in many countries with many more moving parts. Red Bull
had all year to prepare for one day which accidentally turned into
two.
Still. Almost everything about Cape Fear was better,
production-wise.
So what if Red Bull launched the rebel tour we’ve all been
waiting for?
Let me be clear, the source of this rumor is me! I am starting
it with the hopes that it actually becomes true because
just think…
It could start small, six stops maybe and would include
only enough surfers to finish in one swell. A two day event! It
would be based upon actual swells too, not arbitrary windows, and
would not include Rio!
Every part of it could be voted on, from the stops to the
surfers. Or not! Red Bull could choose. Or maybe
BeachGrit! Not The Inertia. They wouldn’t even be
allowed to cover it upon threat of massive lawsuit/death.
Wouldn’t you like to see Dane Reynolds vs. Craig Anderson? Neco
Padaratz vs. Occy? Zoltan Torkos vs. Rob Machado? Laird Hamilton
vs. Nick Carroll?
Oh, it’d be a gambler’s dream and very fun.
Albee Layer pointed out the exclusivity contract the WSL makes
surfers sign. They are not allowed to surf in unsanctioned contests
but all it takes for that to break is a few crossover stars. Or a
bigger prize purse.
In any case, the energy drink company needs lots and lots of
content to fill new channels. What could be better than a whole
year’s worth of surf competition? American Idol meets Death in the
Afternoon!
In a nutshell. Two surfers, one with a banking background, start
an online surf store in 2007. They risk everything, mortgage their
houses, work their asses off, get bought by Billabong in 2009, then
buy it back, go public, buy Stab, Magic Seaweed,
Garage Entertainment and FCS and build the
dazzling company to a point where it’s worth more than half a billion
dollars.
And then came the downward ride.
CEO and founder Justin Cameron quit. Profits were downgraded.
Trading was halted.
And, today, in what appears, correctly or incorrectly, to the
layman to be a long goodbye, SurfStitch announced a
loss for 2016 of around $18 million, and the appointment of a new
CEO from a non-surf background, a strategy that served Billabong and Quiksilver so well.
From The Australian today:
In March, co-founder and later CEO Mr Cameron stepped down and then in May
the firm slashed expected earnings from $15m-$18m to just $2m-$3m,
with its stock nosediving 60 per cent on the
news. Mr Cameron left to team up with private equity to make
a potential takeover bid for
the company but no bid has yet been sent to the SurfStitch
board.
Mr Sonand, whose appointment will take immediate effect, has
previously held senior roles at Myer, Globe International, Just
Jeans and Pacific Brands, while more recently serving as chief
operating officer of Charles Parsons Group.
“There are both major opportunities and challenges and one
of my first priorities is to establish an operating and management
framework that I believe will restore the business to a position of
strength,” he said.
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Starring Jamie Baughan and Jeremy Joyce, Freezing
follows two UK surfers on a trip of a lifetime into the freezing
hellscape that is Iceland.
Comedy: Icelandic Insanity!
By Rory Parker
I'm calling it the funniest, most self-aware, surf
film ever made.
Freezing dropped a month ago. How the
fuck did I miss it?
No exaggeration here, I’m calling it the funniest, most
self-aware, surf film ever made.
Starring Jamie Baughan and Jeremy Joyce, Freezing follows
two UK surfers on a trip of a lifetime into the freezing hellscape
that is Iceland. Because who needs the tropics? Real surfers go
their own way. Chase swells into icy solitude. Stiff upper lip
manly men who laugh in the face of nature’s wrath. They trek into
the tundra in pursuit of solitude. Live in tents along forlorn
coasts chasing that perfect slide.
According to our own self serving myths. But really most of us
head to easy-peasy third world resort towns where we bask in the
glory of our first world finances. Sipping slushy drinks as the sun
sets. Glorying in beach bunny thong bikinis to and from the water’s
edge.
“Brooding men. Solitary men.”
Ideally. According to our own self serving myths. But really
most of us head to easy-peasy third world resort towns where we
bask in the glory of our first world finances. Sipping slushy
drinks as the sun sets. Glorying in beach bunny thong bikinis to
and from the water’s edge.
It’s what I do. And I love it. Fuck adventure, give me
luxury.
Baughan and Joyce have a kind of Simon Pegg/Nick Frost thing
going on. I don’t know if they’d necessarily appreciate the
comparison. I don’t like it when people compare me to others. Even
when they’re totally right. Especially then.
But they play off each other so god damn well! Magic moments.
Perfect blend of deadpan absurdity.
So, seriously, funniest surf film ever made. Had me laughing
until my sides hurt. Click on the vid and enjoy yourself for a
little over 21 minutes.
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Hey: I’m writing about you! (maybe!)
By Chas Smith
Either one of the Harrington twins or Brent
Dorrington screamed, "Never write about me!" toward my back long
ago. I never have. Until maybe now!
Many, many years ago I was locked in the teeth
of a very bad marriage. My wife, ex now and thankfully, was a
Broadway star in the making. Showtunes etc. She moved to New York
to pursue the dream. I met a Ukrainian blonde while she was in New
York and things unraveled. Thankfully.
We tried to put things back together through counseling and then
the Quiksilver Pro reared its head and I told her I had to go. She
understood and said, “Ok. I support you.”
While I was gone, though, she apparently changed her mind and
sent livid emails, telling me to go to hell etc. Her tone, and the
memory of showtunes, annoyed me to the point of walking out to the
Snapper Rocks and throwing my wedding ring into the sea. It must
still be there somewhere.
That night I went out to drink and drink and drink. It
all ended in a shared cab with some surfer. I got out and
headed to my room at the Rainbow something. I walked a long way
down the street and he got out and yelled, “Oi! Chas Smith! Don’t
you ever fucken write about me!” when I was so so far away. He
quickly got into the cab and it sped away.
To this day I don’t know if that surfer was one of the
Harrington twins or Brent Dorrington. At the time I thought, “Who
the fuck do you think you are?” And also, “Are you a fucking pussy?
Why didn’t you tell me to my face?”
If it was Brent Dorrington I now think, “Nice clip!” But also,
“Who the fuck do you think you are?”
