This one will end badly unless Kelly Slater pays up!
Say what you will, butTransWorld Surf (RIP) under the benevolent dictatorship of Chris Cote was the high water mark of the surf industry. Its PG-13 antics crackled with juvenile charm! Its bright colors and razor sharp broisms showed that anyone, literally ANYONE, could ride the wave to surf fame and fortune!
Do you remember the TransWorld film Tomorrow Today? Of course you do. It featured Clay Marzo, Dane Reynolds, Bob Martinez and Mike Losness.
Do you know who else remembers it? Kelly Slater!
Our 16 time World Champ has decided to use Tomorrow Today as his OuterKnown marketing campaign. Do you know who he has decided not to pay for the honor?
Chris was in Australia, of course, calling Cape Fear and is now in Brazil calling a skate event but would say…
“Kelly! Kelly Slater! I’m coming for you, Brozo the Clown!”
…if I called him.
What do you think Kelly should give to Chris? $8.50? His spot on the WSL World Tour? Eight cans of Purps and one OK Beanie? Two and a half barrels in the wave pool?
We have now had days to digest Red Bull’s Cape Fear (aka Savages of the East) event and what do you think, removed from its adrenalized rush? Did you hang on every meaty wipeout? Did you thrill at the finish? Would you go and surf Cape Solander if you could?
But let’s talk about the quality of the production, very quickly. It was good, no? The cameras, angles, etc. were very much better than a typical World Surf League event no matter how you felt about the surfing (Matt Warshaw brilliantly says he doesn’t like surfers turned into cannon fodder). The highlights packages that have come out very much better too.
Of course it is really not fair to compare the two. The WSL has many events in many countries with many more moving parts. Red Bull had all year to prepare for one day which accidentally turned into two.
Still. Almost everything about Cape Fear was better, production-wise.
So what if Red Bull launched the rebel tour we’ve all been waiting for?
Let me be clear, the source of this rumor is me! I am starting it with the hopes that it actually becomes true because just think…
It could start small, six stops maybe and would include only enough surfers to finish in one swell. A two day event! It would be based upon actual swells too, not arbitrary windows, and would not include Rio!
Every part of it could be voted on, from the stops to the surfers. Or not! Red Bull could choose. Or maybe BeachGrit! Not The Inertia. They wouldn’t even be allowed to cover it upon threat of massive lawsuit/death.
Wouldn’t you like to see Dane Reynolds vs. Craig Anderson? Neco Padaratz vs. Occy? Zoltan Torkos vs. Rob Machado? Laird Hamilton vs. Nick Carroll?
Oh, it’d be a gambler’s dream and very fun.
Albee Layer pointed out the exclusivity contract the WSL makes surfers sign. They are not allowed to surf in unsanctioned contests but all it takes for that to break is a few crossover stars. Or a bigger prize purse.
In any case, the energy drink company needs lots and lots of content to fill new channels. What could be better than a whole year’s worth of surf competition? American Idol meets Death in the Afternoon!
In a nutshell. Two surfers, one with a banking background, start an online surf store in 2007. They risk everything, mortgage their houses, work their asses off, get bought by Billabong in 2009, then buy it back, go public, buy Stab, Magic Seaweed, Garage Entertainment and FCS and build the dazzling company to a point where it’s worth more than half a billion dollars.
And then came the downward ride.
CEO and founder Justin Cameron quit. Profits were downgraded. Trading was halted.
And, today, in what appears, correctly or incorrectly, to the layman to be a long goodbye, SurfStitch announced a loss for 2016 of around $18 million, and the appointment of a new CEO from a non-surf background, a strategy that served Billabong and Quiksilver so well.
From The Australian today:
In March, co-founder and later CEO Mr Cameron stepped down and then in May the firm slashed expected earnings from $15m-$18m to just $2m-$3m, with its stock nosediving 60 per cent on the news. Mr Cameron left to team up with private equity to make a potential takeover bid for the company but no bid has yet been sent to the SurfStitch board.
Mr Sonand, whose appointment will take immediate effect, has previously held senior roles at Myer, Globe International, Just Jeans and Pacific Brands, while more recently serving as chief operating officer of Charles Parsons Group.
“There are both major opportunities and challenges and one of my first priorities is to establish an operating and management framework that I believe will restore the business to a position of strength,” he said.
I'm calling it the funniest, most self-aware, surf film ever made.
Freezing dropped a month ago. How the fuck did I miss it?
No exaggeration here, I’m calling it the funniest, most self-aware, surf film ever made.
Starring Jamie Baughan and Jeremy Joyce, Freezing follows two UK surfers on a trip of a lifetime into the freezing hellscape that is Iceland. Because who needs the tropics? Real surfers go their own way. Chase swells into icy solitude. Stiff upper lip manly men who laugh in the face of nature’s wrath. They trek into the tundra in pursuit of solitude. Live in tents along forlorn coasts chasing that perfect slide.
According to our own self serving myths. But really most of us head to easy-peasy third world resort towns where we bask in the glory of our first world finances. Sipping slushy drinks as the sun sets. Glorying in beach bunny thong bikinis to and from the water’s edge.
“Brooding men. Solitary men.”
Ideally. According to our own self serving myths. But really most of us head to easy-peasy third world resort towns where we bask in the glory of our first world finances. Sipping slushy drinks as the sun sets. Glorying in beach bunny thong bikinis to and from the water’s edge.
It’s what I do. And I love it. Fuck adventure, give me luxury.
Baughan and Joyce have a kind of Simon Pegg/Nick Frost thing going on. I don’t know if they’d necessarily appreciate the comparison. I don’t like it when people compare me to others. Even when they’re totally right. Especially then.
But they play off each other so god damn well! Magic moments. Perfect blend of deadpan absurdity.
So, seriously, funniest surf film ever made. Had me laughing until my sides hurt. Click on the vid and enjoy yourself for a little over 21 minutes.
Either one of the Harrington twins or Brent Dorrington screamed, "Never write about me!" toward my back long ago. I never have. Until maybe now!
Many, many years ago I was locked in the teeth of a very bad marriage. My wife, ex now and thankfully, was a Broadway star in the making. Showtunes etc. She moved to New York to pursue the dream. I met a Ukrainian blonde while she was in New York and things unraveled. Thankfully.
We tried to put things back together through counseling and then the Quiksilver Pro reared its head and I told her I had to go. She understood and said, “Ok. I support you.”
While I was gone, though, she apparently changed her mind and sent livid emails, telling me to go to hell etc. Her tone, and the memory of showtunes, annoyed me to the point of walking out to the Snapper Rocks and throwing my wedding ring into the sea. It must still be there somewhere.
That night I went out to drink and drink and drink. It all ended in a shared cab with some surfer. I got out and headed to my room at the Rainbow something. I walked a long way down the street and he got out and yelled, “Oi! Chas Smith! Don’t you ever fucken write about me!” when I was so so far away. He quickly got into the cab and it sped away.
To this day I don’t know if that surfer was one of the Harrington twins or Brent Dorrington. At the time I thought, “Who the fuck do you think you are?” And also, “Are you a fucking pussy? Why didn’t you tell me to my face?”
If it was Brent Dorrington I now think, “Nice clip!” But also, “Who the fuck do you think you are?”