Bloodshed at the Mexican Pipeline!

Eight shark fishermen gunned down in Puerto Escondido.

Puerto Escondido, one of Mexico’s most iconic waves and home to the recently finished big wave event won by Grant “Twiggy” Baker, has experienced a run of violence lately.

The teachers union has been striking in the state and clashing with police forces for weeks. The government has been gaining the upper hand, of late, but the region has been mostly paralyzed with snarled traffic, curtailed shopping hours and general bad vibes.

And now, last night, eight shark fishermen have been gunned down and killed. Four on the spot, four at the hospital. Lets read about it:

The shark fishermen were in a house in the Pacific port when the gunmen entered and opened fire. Four were killed at the scene while the other four died soon after being taken to a local hospital, prosecutors from the southern state of Oaxaca said on Tuesday.

One of the main lines of investigation is whether the men also engaged in other activities at sea aside from fishing, the prosecutors said in a statement.

Monitored by federal police and the Mexican Navy, the coast of Oaxaca is a strategic point for traffickers moving drugs from Central and South America to the United States. Shark hunters fish offshore using vessels larger than ordinary fishing boats.

More than 120,000 people have been killed in Mexico in violence linked to drug gangs since the start of 2007.

Famous for the powerful waves that roll into the Zicatela beach, Puerto Escondido is a small resort frequented by visitors from the United States and Europe, particularly Italians.

So much intrigue! Shark fishermen? Possible cartel action? Italian tourists? Does all of Mexico’s craziness make you want to stay away or, like me, does it make you want to book the next ticket and ride?

Viva Mexico!

Make America Mahalo Again!
Make America Mahalo Again!

Politics: Hawaii doesn’t matter!

Rory Parker discusses the upcoming United States election and Hawaii's (non) importance!

I’m watching a bit of the Republican National Convention. Very interesting. Watching the republican party turn itself into a laughing stock is good fun. Crowd the handful of minorities present up front. Some purple haired black broad from California is screaming for Trump. If she gets her wish it’ll be the last time she’s in the front of anything.

I’m very happy I can sit this election cycle out. Whether anyone’s vote counts is up for argument, but if you live in Hawaii your presidential vote definitely don’t matter for shit. State’s solid democrat, always. We’ve only got four electoral votes out of a total of five hundred and thirty eight. And our polls don’t close until six hours after the East Coast. The race is decided while we’re still standing in line.

The stupidest people in Hawaii are up at the moment. Some snowbird haole throwing a shaka off to the side. Shrill looking senior slag with lemon lips next to him. Trotted out a token Hawaiian (maybe?) guy to say, “Mahalo.”

But this state would never vote for a party that’s all about cutting entitlements. People would starve. Which’ll happen when a full time wage job pays below the poverty line.

The real fucked up thing about this election? It’s probably in my best interest to support Trump. I’m an upwardly mobile straight white guy. And my lizard brain is always telling me, “fuck everyone else.”

But I don’t really see a reason to make life easier. Turning the difficulty down wouldn’t really make life better. Probably worse.

It is amusing when the most fervently anti-commie people are super stoked about building a wall on our border.

We’re here because they courted the Tea Party crazies, right? Though I guess a room full of ugly old white people supporting something hateful ain’t nothing new. Just a slightly different spin this time.

Which reminds me of a good general rule by which I live. If you ever find yourself chanting along with a roomful of people you should really stop and evaluate what you’re doing. Take a good had look at your beliefs. Because unless you’re at some sort of good natured sing-a-long there’s a solid chance you’re lending support to something that’s gonna turn ugly, fast.

Who wants their own version of Mick Fanning's J-Bay winning channel bottom? | Photo: @coreywilson

Buy: Fanning’s J-Bay channel bottom!

You like how it moved? Buy your own replica!

How about the buzz around Mick Fanning’s little channel bottom at J-Bay? It was like a teaspoon of the best honey straight from the hive.

Snapper aside, there isn’t a wave more suited to the Darren Handley-Mick Fanning combo than three-foot runners along Supertubes’ sand-rock bottom. It could’ve been little Snapper, Kirra, Burleigh.

Handley, in case you were wondering, knows how to liberate fins, knows how to peel apart a good point wave, and his surfboards reflect this skill. Fanning, of course, has won four J-Bay titles.

Now, DHD is selling a “limited run” of the J-Bay winning board. Fanning rode a DucksNuts 5’9″ x 18 7/8″ x 2 5/16″ (26.8 litres) with a swallow tail, channel bottom and super light 4 x 4 glassing, but you can climb aboard these dimensions too.

5’7 x 18 5/8 x 2 1/4  25.5
5’9 x 18 7/8 x 2 5/16  26.8  ( Micks File )
5’10 x 19 x 2 5/16  27.8
5’11 x 19 1/8 x 2 3/8  28.5
6’0 x 19 1/4 x 2 7/16  29.8
6’1 x 19 3/8 x 2 7/16  30.8
6’2 x 19 1/2 x 2 1/2  32

Contact DHD here. 

The Snail AG Rojas

Just in: WSL’s dazzling short film!

WSL/Samsung employ hipster director AG Rojas to make motivational short…

AG Rojas is the Spanish-born, LA-raised film director for whom the WSL and Samsung have turned to spice, just a little, their peppermint candy sweetness.

Did you ever see Rojas’ Hey Jane, a music video that features a drag queen hooker raising two kids? Gets hell beat out of her etc? Don’t weep, it’s only a movie!

The WSL/Samsung short, however, features an Indian surfer (subcontinental not American), and employs the metaphor of the brave snail overcoming all odds etc.


“While you were catching up on sleep this morning, there’s a snail out there, right now, who’s giving everything to cross the largest desert of a sidewalk he’s ever seen. Why? Because it beats hiding in his shell.”

Anyway, after the initial snort of laughter about the snail, this short grows on me. Like most Rojas pieces, it’s a colourful slow-mo tableau. Makes you want to surf? Yeah, it does.

The almost-thirty-year-old Rojas reveals his style of filming to one-point-four mag:

“My DP Michael Ragen and I enjoy the challenge of manipulating digital filmmaking to achieve the best possible, natural images. Our first jobs were shot on the RED and now we’re shooting mostly on the Alexa. Also, we shoot digitally because then I can afford to have as many takes as I want of people vomiting.”

Watch The Snail here.

If you liked that, y’gonna like this one for Dick’s Sporting Goods, too…

And this one for Duracell batteries…

Fanning Wilson
J-Bay 2015 is also locked into the record books, forevermore, with no winner. Mick and Julian, if you recall, split the points and went on their ways without trophy or recognition, aside from millions and millions of people around the word praising their steadfastness, steady backbones, heroism, courage and beach grit. I mean, true grit. | Photo: WSL/Kirstin Scholtz

Mick, Julian win participation trophy!

Participation in the most radical heat of professional surfing's history!

J-Bay 2016 is now locked into the record books with Mick Fanning recorded, forevermore, as champion. What a storybook finish! You Can Script This™! He surfed very well and deserved every Rand of prize money, every Balter beer, every huzzah etc.

J-Bay 2015 is also locked into the record books, forevermore, with no winner. Mick and Julian, if you recall, split the points and went on their ways without trophy or recognition, aside from millions and millions of people around the word praising their steadfastness, steady backbones, heroism, courage and beach grit. I mean, true grit.

Well, apparently the World Surf League thought it was time to give real trophies to both Mick and Julian. Bravery trophies! Mick says:

“After everything that happened with J-Bay last year the trophies got put away and Julian and I didn’t get one…because no one ever won…but the WSL went above and beyond and they created a trophy to give to Julian and I and it’s…just a plaque but it’s pretty heavy…”

It is beautiful and there are only two of them in the entire world. Watch Mick show it off here!

And what was the greatest trophy you ever won?


I got third place in something once. I think.

Maybe it was fourth.