What does a man do when his great passion deserts him?
Dear Rory,
I am 42 years old with 30 odd years of surfing behind me and feel like I have reached a cross roads and would like some advice to move forward or backward or whatever.
Since I got my first surfboard I had been surf mad, it was all I cared about, kind of built an identity around it as embarrassing as that sounds. I got to a reasonable level of competence, not pro level but I could surf alright, even now I still have my moments mixed in with a bit of middle aged fumbling.
At the moment I feel stale, I’m disinterested for the first time in my life. I always said I would surf until I died but will I really? I’ve ridden pretty standard equipment most of my life but have always dabbled with shorter fatter sort of boards even before they were accepted and actually surfed them alright, anyway peer pressure or something always kept me close to whatever everyone else was riding, even today my boards wouldn’t be too out of place at a contest at Trestles.
So I feel like I need something new, I like the idea of alternative boards but it sounds so lame, will people think I’m trying to be a hipster especially because I have a bit of a beard going on? What style of board will relight the fire? Any advice is appreciated.
Thanks
Seaman Staines
Dear Rory says: I had another few really shit sessions recently. Bad ones. Where you’re constantly out of position, and your timing is slightly off and it’s like your body just completely forgot what it’s supposed to do.
Soul crushing shit. Like, come on already!
I deal with it by bodysurfing. That’s always fun. Great exercise. Damn hard to have a bad bodysurf.
I was out essentially swimming laps and pretending I’m a dolphin when this little kid paddles out and starts working on his shuv-its.
Little fucker had them close to wired. Over and over and over. Pop and catch, then fall. Stuck two or three, came close a million times.
Which is what high performance surfing is for normal high talent humans. Failing ten millions times in exchange for one moment of brilliance. I don’t have that patience anymore.
But there’s a big problem with moving onto alternative stuff. It’s damn hard to go back. Being used to a design that holds your hand means unforgiving boards will seem hellish. And at a certain point you’ve become that old guy who surfs really well, considering the fact that he’s all old and gross and rides a weird fun shape thing.
The whole scene reinforced an ugly creeping notion I’ve been playing with for a while. What’s the point of riding cutting edge equipment if your surfing isn’t cutting edge? You’re just making things more difficult.
So why not just hop onto something that’s enjoyable and, god forbid, easy to ride? The best surfer is not the one having the most fun, but there’s a nice side to getting old. Who the fuck cares about being the best surfer? Leave that to the amped and agile boiling cauldrons of testosterone with decades of crushing defeats in front of them.
But there’s a big problem with moving onto alternative stuff. It’s damn hard to go back. Being used to a design that holds your hand means unforgiving boards will seem hellish. And at a certain point you’ve become that old guy who surfs really well, considering the fact that he’s all old and gross and rides a weird fun shape thing.
But, again, who really cares?
I say do it. Doesn’t really matter what you go for. Mini simmons, hiperf log, retro plank, modern fish… whatever. In the end it’s all the same. You’ll have a blast and feel like you’re ripping and not look anywhere near as good as you feel.
true. I’m good with a good hour. In, surf, out. Who has time for more?
Holt is gold!
I borrowed a friends. Caught three waves and was over it.
I love how after the video ends, two suggested videos appear for this select audience’s viewing pleasure….#1 is “Blazed – Drug Driving in Aotearoa; and #2 is 2016 J-Bay Open: Round Three, Heat 2 (John John Florence vs. Dusty Payne)
Don’t drive drunk, don’t drive blazed on drugs and I’m still trying to figure out what I shouldn’t be doing after watching that surf heat
if your regular shorty is not blowing ya hair back… your time is up you old cunt, hang it up and go by a set of golf clubs.
harsh but fair.
Ouch.
fuck this is amazing!
Thanks for finding this. Saves me explaining later!
Get a soft top and just crash into your buds, thats what i like to do
You boys know my mate that does “Island Screens”?
long as you don’t lose your passion for anonymous internet commenting SS- that would be a tragedy.
you want to try some weird boards, come down the Ox, I’ve got a shiteload of ’em under the house.
twinzer, bonzers, mid-lengths, etc etc etc.
Yeah thats trick, also Mr Staines have you tried to shape and glass your own board. It only takes about three or so boards before you will get something you can ride. Getting Barrelled on a board you have made yourself, from scratch is fucken awesome. Also fuels a fire to make a better craft the next time
.
I’ll have to visit some day, maybe show me how to catch an Australian fish while ya at it, I’ll bring the beer.
I know quite a few guys 40+ – 65 that absolutely rip; everything from double overhead barrels on a 5 6′ to super long hang tens on a 9 8′ single fin log. Age doesn’t mean shit; the condition of your mind and body combined with your boards means everything. 1. Keep your core strong (bike, swim, run, Pilates, etc), stretch all the time, eat well, and don’t work too much; 2. Keep trying different boards to keep the stoke up (single fins, finless, logs, whatever); 3. Who fucking cares what others think about you; you’re an idiot if you’re stuck on a 5 11′, 28 liter board just because Mayhem’s calculator said you should be riding that; fuck that, watch other old ripper dudes and ask them what they’re riding – guarantee they are riding a Bonzer or something like that (unless of course they’re one of those super ripper old dudes). Shortboards are only good for super fit advanced surfers on good waves. Get yourself a big single fin from from a reputable shaper and I guarantee you’ll enter a surfing renaissance.
It’s not an ability or fitness thing, (I still roll with about 33 litres though) it’s a mental issue, I’m pretty fit, workout a little, play in a football team and I can surf pretty well and we get pretty good waves here, it’s just a little of the thrill is gone and I’m looking for some new spice.
I went through that when i was like 26 or so; I got tired of shortboarding; fighting with the crowds, etc. I got a 9 foot longboard and went to less crowded spots; then a mini Simms, then a high perf longboard, then a fish, then 10 foot single fin nose rider, then a 7 4′ single fin, (still had various shortboards but hardly ever rode them), now I’m back to shortboarding part time and whatever boarding the rest of the time – I’m 35 (all my boards are based on friends boards or random people I saw surfing and thought: I want to surf like that; I’d ask to see their board and then buy one). Currently I’m trying to get a Malcom bros Bonzer and hopefully an olo – a long ass finless wooden surfboard, the kind King Kamehameha and Queen Liluokalani used to ride. Nowadays I alternate between all kinds of boards and waves and I keep adding new boards and I keep going to different countries to check out their surf culture/etc. If you only ride shortboards, that’s your problem; expand your horizon and you’ll be stoked again.
Ride a lot of boards! Craigslist is your friend. Buy, sell, buy, sell, buy, sell, don’t spend more than $200 and have fun! Keep the ones that are good!
hey ss, as a super ripper fit old dude I will politely gainsay shootsthen’s call about age not meaning shit. Age means a great deal; age changes the condition of both your body and your mind. As a surfer – as a human being – I think it is a good idea to be open to these changes; it is possible to turn them to your advantage in many ways, rather than have them fuck you up through inattention. You’re 42 years of age, which is a classic turning point for a man, not so much physically as psychologically — you know, the whole “mid life crisis” shtick. But you seem pretty self aware and intelligent and you’re still doing the things you enjoy. Men often seem to fuck things up by over-action at such times, but surfing is full of good stuff, much of which you won’t have yet discovered; I suggest not doing very much at all other than keep surfing and remain aware of the changes occurring inside you, and let opportunities for re-discovery come to you.
I know it may have verged on being a full time, thankless, time wasting chore. But the Real Surf “Ask Carroll” thread has so much more to offer to confused 42 year old boy men like Seaman and I.
Yeah it’s hard to get the point across without sounding overtly new age or bitter at the aging process. I believe I’m neither of those things but like you say far more self aware, when I look back to my youth I had no self awareness, I just was. There was surf you surfed, everything else be damned, you build a life around it and now I’ve reached the dreaded middle age you ask the question “was it all worth it?”, I like to think yes but part of me mourns the opportunities lost in the single minded pursuit of surf along the way.
So maybe there is some kind of opportunity in that question, Pardon me for this — but I will assert on your behalf that yes, it was (and is) worth a great deal to you.
Yeah you are right, it was/is a hell of a ride and the life I have had is a pretty good one thanks in no small part to being a surfer, on the other hand I’m also thankful that I did have enough discipline and latterly self awareness to stop it from becoming all consuming. The line is fine one we tread that’s for sure.
I felt a similar way in my early 30’s. Lost interest after surfing religiously most of my life and got in a bit of a rut probably surfed twice a month for a few years and always felt off. I was making good money gained weight did drugs drank a lot wasted money and had what seemed like fun at the time. Then just like that I snapped out of it got back in shape got new boards and have been so pumped on surfing again! Im almost 40 and feel like I’m surfing just as good as I was 10 years ago its been a major turning point in my life. Sometimes you just need a break.
Amen! I had an epiphany taxiing down runway after chasing a solid swell abroad few years ago. During that swell I got “One” and when I finished the ride remember sitting on my board so pleased with realization i still could surf at a high level. Sitting in the seat my body was tight from paddling hard and eating little during the pursuit. Right then it hit me hard I had not thought of my kids and wife for those couple days and i felt so selfish at that moment. I was choked up.. As those feelings cleared I realized I had spent more time in the ocean than in any meaningful relationship my entire life. And if i was going to continue my focus had to change. What I’m trying to say is your relationships, work etc. have to have the same focus as being in the moment like riding a wave. This may sound silly but the same goes for being in the ocean. Its a disservice to to the energy of mother nature not to be completely in the present giving 100%. Anything less you should be doing something else. Easier said than done as I type this my relationship of 20 plus is falling apart.. Wish i could go back give 100%
This has been a very interesting thread and you spot on above. There is definitely a degree of selfishness in what we pursue. I too know guys who rip who have then pissed away everything to surf – family work everything else has fallen apart.
I have luckily snowboarded and surfed the globe through my 20s and 30s largely due to free flights and lots of mates. I now have 3 kids and a job that is flexible enough for me to still surf a lot – I am blessed on those fronts. I stay fit and think I do both at pretty good level. Its a mindset and being physically fit!!
I do surf a variety of equipment including foamies and one of the best things I read on beachgrit was from Gerlach saying “don’t expect too much surfing wise” – so if I go out there with that mindset generally have best session every time, because you usually get at least one!!
Today my wife said to me to paraphrase ” fuck work – life is about your experiences” shit yeah I said as long as we can give our kids those experiences then I still get to live my dream!! So its epic.
Wish you well with your relationship scenario because for all the shit that gets posted here that’s a whole new level – good luck!!! And Llama talk about this relationship with your mates because my best mate took his life 5 years ago and not day goes by I don’t think about him
Sounds like you found a good balance; cool.
Yeah I have very lucky – now I just need to find a way to get my kids into snowboarding and surfing a little more then my “little selfishness” is more acceptable. But balance is good
Thanks for the honesty mate, hope it all works out for ya.
the older i’ve gotten (pushing 40), the more surfing has simply become but one of the many outdoorsy things i do in life. i no longer stress over missing good surf, and often do other things even when the surf is good and i’ve got ample time for it.
now every session is fun because it’s something i’m choosing to do right then. i’m not surfing from some kind of obligation.
point is: surfing is more fun when it’s not a single minded pursuit. ain’t too late.
I totally agree; age does affect Everything. I guess I’m only 35, and have been super fit my entire life, so, I haven’t really experienced the handicaps of age yet, aside from injuries taking longer to heal, and needing more motivation to get at it.
well more power to ya shoots, it,s a great time to be a surfer!
fishing. freshwater fishing.
love green bass
amp out on Mason edits before you surf, draw weird lines. don’t ride shit boards to make decent waves more challenging.
While I generally agree with Rory’s sentiment, there is an old guy at my local (60+, at least), who fucking rips on a high-perf shortboard. I can’t understand it.
I would guess he wasted his youth. Spent more time surfing than anything, and grooved in style and technique so they fit like a dovetail joint. Surfing good for guys in that state is effortless.
You are spot on with the older guys that still absolutely rip, the argument over whether it’s youth wasted or well spent is one for the ages, I know guys like this but you dig a little deeper and you’ll often find a life spent close to poverty, failed relationships and a sense they are s till hanging on to a perceived higher social standing.
Theres a propensity for bitterness from those who worked too much and those like you mention.
Yep and if you find the balance you’re doing alright.
try hanging at the golf course, people have dedicated themselves to far shallower pursuits
Great discussion here guys. Two extremes, everybody trying to find their balance in it. Life is hard and long!
Reality is only a small percentage will rip into their 60s. Trick is making the transition appropriately and gracefully. Painful to see the old guy trying to ride a shortboard past his day. Getting old sucks.
anyone with proper technique in the first place will rip as long as they can walk up stairs two at a time. look at Curren, he’d flog half the tour at JBay right now
I love Curren, but no he wouldn’t.
maybe not half the field but put him on a normal board, maybe Julian or Parko’s and he’d definitely smoke Jadson, Banting, Keanu, Kanoa, and Caio
“Leave that to the amped and agile boiling cauldrons of testosterone with decades of crushing defeats in front of them.”
Sage wisdom.
That was a great sentence.
maybe if we didn’t tell them all to go enter NSSAs cause they’re “really advanced for their age” as soon as they can wiggle
try being minus 7 years then.
I’m with ya there – every time I say I feel 25 again it all falls apart
I’m going to choke out the next silver fox I see sporting a hood, booties and a step up out at two foot Jan Juc. The same goes for the next grom on a DHD. We’re not in fucken Queensland!
I am in Queensland however, and saw some dude surfing a currently very crowded bank at dbah on what could only be described as a “rhino chaser” suitable for very big paddle in Mavericks. It was 2 -3 foot at the time. I also wanted to choke the dude out, however – fuck he was getting alot of waves!
I’ve seen those guys, there’s a couple that ride them at crowded Snapper but fuck they catch some waves and who’s got the balls to try and fade them on their six one JS?
It’d be the same guy for sure. he just appeared yesterday. I think he might have paddled out via the tweed river! Good way to avoid car vandalism I suppose!
Why don’t you ride a log yourself? At 1 foot Snapper, why would you ride anything else? Something nice & thick, with low rocker. Fun as.
I hear ya Nick Dee, it’s just I’ve thrown so much criticism of that particular pursuit (mainly in my head) that I’m not sure I could live with myself laying down that much hypocrisy in one go.
I get where your coming from on the logs, but I got into them a few years back and fuck they are fun. When the waves are knee high and winding down the point they cant be beat. Any bigger than that I get back on my shortboards though!
We’re all hypocrites, which is why we all hate hypocrites. Just do it and fuck the rest. I had a log once. It was fun. Then I sold it to an old guy across the way and just went back to my shortboards. Nothing in life is permanent.
On the weekend it was tiny here and a guy on a mal was taking the lions share of waist high bi-hourly gems. One finally came and he asked if I was going. I said yes and he went anyway. Nearly took my head off as he crawled up to his knees. Cunt went straight in and ran up the stairs to the car park as I sat there screaming at the sky. Any witnesses know where this bloke lives? I’m still pissed off.
It was nice of him to add the personal touch to your burning.
I’m going to touch up his wife’s taint.
shit that was me, I thought you wanted to share with me?
I already know where you live Morry. It wasn’t you buddy boy.
It was me. And I’ll do it again.
Fuck now the ghost of Miki Dora is haunting me too!? You’re dead, cunt. I can’t eat your ghost chips mate.
I’ve always been confused by the miki dora Facebook page that actually seems like it’s him, he scolded me once but i thought “fuck you’re dead?” so who cares?
Jan Juc?
So what you are saying is don’t buy the hood?
Just the front zip vest with it undone – that will match your beard
The open vest provides adequate sun protection for cunts who can’t sit on their board or stand up.
ha ha yes I could not believe how many of these pricks rocked up at cloudbreak like I mentioned before
mate, was on the surf coast last weekend surfed southside beachies… started off solo man then 20 silver foxes wanna come surf closeouts with me.
Cheers Rory, I think you’ve nailed it, it’s kind of hard to let go when you don’t feel as old as you are, I just need to face the fact that nobody actually gives a fuck about what I’m riding unless it’s a SUP.
Surfing’s over after you hit 35… I’d suggest quitting your job, telling the family to get lost, a kilo of coke, a Harley {complete with nasty stripper on the back} An American flag bandana to cover your bald spot… and hit the Highway!
https://www.youtube.com/wat…
Amen, maybe move to Florida with neg’s kit, you’ll fit right in and have great excuses for not being able to surf the two days a year it’s good.
Neg, so spot on. My best years of surfing were 25-35. Health, energy, time, all on my side.
Fuck, so you mean by doing that at 25 I was a decade early to the game? The nasty strippers do look SO much better than those of a decade ago.
Any given session with unknown surfers at my local – I couldn’t tell you what surfboards they were riding if you paid me. I’m the same age as yourself and struggling more with the inconsistent, middle-aged fumbling surfing bit mentioned. I just need to train and stretch more
Stay clear of horrible fluoro wetties, surf hats and hypto kryptos though
Oh shit I’m not shy of a bit of colour both on boards and wetsuits, I don’t have a surf hat but fuck do they go out of their way to make them extra ugly or what?
Apparently they do.
You know, if a guy rocked up in a fluoro orange wettie, a bizarrely-designed surfboard with 70’s psychedelic artwork, wearing a fuck ugly surf hat but was flaring with I-dont-give-a-fuck attitude and was ripping? Well played sir