Dear Brazil: Obrigado very much!

American swimmer Ryan Lochte robbed at gunpoint! Forced to pay the public back for bad TV!

American swimmer Ryan Lochte is a bummer that comes around once every four years.

After London people thought his cray cray handsome cray was too hot to handle and so he got his own television show What Would Ryan Lochte Do? that might have been the worst thing to ever appear on the small screen. Let’s watch highlights!

Thankfully it failed quickly.

But there was no other punishment for him and he got to continue living without fear, without consequence.

Until he went to Brazil! Last night after his final swim event he was held up at gunpoint by robbers. Let’s read about it in The New York Times!

Four American swimmers, including the six-time gold medalist Ryan Lochte, were held up at gunpoint early Sunday morning, according to the United States Olympic Committee.

The other United States swimmers robbed, according to a statement from the committee, were Gunnar Bentz, Jack Conger and Jimmy Feigen.

“Their taxi was stopped by individuals posing as armed police officers who demanded the athletes’ money and other personal belongings,” a spokesman for the United States Olympic Committee said.

“All four athletes are safe and cooperating with authorities.”

Lochte told NBC News that one of the men put a cocked gun to his head.

“We got pulled over, in the taxi, and these guys came out with a badge, a police badge, no lights, no nothing just a police badge and they pulled us over,” Lochte said. “They pulled out their guns, they told the other swimmers to get down on the ground — they got down on the ground. I refused, I was like we didn’t do anything wrong, so — I’m not getting down on the ground.

“And then the guy pulled out his gun, he cocked it, put it to my forehead and he said, “Get down,” and I put my hands up, I was like ‘whatever.’ He took our money, he took my wallet — he left my cell phone, he left my credentials.”

“I was like whatever”…I suppose he is still living without fear. Too cool! Too sexy and I take it all back! Please gimme What Would Ryan Lochte Do II: The “Do You Feel Lucky Punk?” Years!

Global warming: Let’s surf volcanoes!

An adventure for our hot new earth!

Global warming is real and upon us. Islands are sinking, world temperatures soaring, etc. And does it scare you? Are you worried for your own future? The future of your children?

Well don’t be!

Let’s watch Alison Teal surf a volcano!

That is what the Daily Mirror headline screamed and to be very fair she didn’t actually “surf” but rather bobbed on her board near a volcano. Still, brave! And picturesque! An accurate vision of our shared future maybe even! Let’s read about it!

A daredevil adventurer has become the first person to surf the base of an erupting volcano and swim within feet of flowing lava – and she did it in a bikini.

Amazing shots of the extreme surf session show Alison Teal riding her pink surfboard up to Kilauea Volcano in Hawaii as it erupted into the ocean.

Underwater photographer Perrin James snapped the brave explorer during the volcano’s first eruption since 2011, on August 3 2016.

Alison, 30, said: “This was a lifelong dream. It was humbling and breathtaking and hot.

“I was hoping to catch a wave, however, when I got in close I was hit by a spatter of hardening rock spray and I quickly ducked under water.

“I looked back and noticed a wave was coming and I paddled for my life to get out of the danger zone.

“Afterwards I was exhilarated and exhausted at the same time.

“It was absolute endorphin high, but also terrifying.

“Anything could have happened.”

The Olympics unites us all! Or wait...does it?
The Olympics unites us all! Or wait...does it?

Olympics: “We’re too cool for you!”

The debate as to whether surfing belongs or not has reached the pages of our most cherished newspaper!

Oh the surfing x olympics debate is priceless! It is wonderful! And the debate gets to rage for another four full years before Kanoa Igarashi paddles out in Japanese beach suck to compete for …. Japan? The United States? Who knows! And Cork Carroll doesn’t care!

Let’s read from today’s Wall Street Journal (a newspaper I love)!

After failing to win admittance to the last five Summer Olympics, surfing on Wednesday could be anointed a new sport at the 2020 Tokyo Games.

But don’t expect surfers of the world to unite in celebration. “Surfing is too cool for the Olympics,” said former professional surfer Corky Carroll, arguing that surfers don’t belong in any club that includes the likes of synchronized swimmers.

Any time a new sport enters the Olympics there are naysayers. But as the International Olympic Committee prepares on Wednesday to approve five new sports to debut at the Tokyo Games, an extraordinary degree of ambivalence, even hostility, is brewing within two of them—surfing and skateboarding.

“Skateboarding is not a ‘sport’ and we do not want skateboarding exploited and transformed to fit into the Olympic program,” says an online petition addressed to Thomas Bach, president of the IOC. The petition has gained nearly 7,000 of 10,000 hoped-for signatures.




Read the rest here! Unless this debate bores you. Does it bore you?

How adorable is Corky Carroll?

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RIP | Photo: Derek Dunfee

Yikes: Is this your greatest ever fear?

Derek Dunfee and a gorgeous cold water slam!

What is your greatest fear in surfing? Is it sharks? That you are sitting out there in the lineup and things go quiet…a swirl maybe, a brush. No, it is your imagination. There is nothing beneath you. Sharks don’t kill people, people do…and then you see his eyes and his gaping mouth! ARGH!

Or what about this… You are locked deep into a grand barrel, your last wave of the day in a far away 3rd world land. The tide has been dropping steadily and you should have taken one in 30 minutes ago but the ocean went completely flat. But now there is this gem and you are steezy and style and ARGH! A patch of dry reef ahead! Stitches for sure! In a far away 3rd world land!

Or what about this… You are out at Mavericks and you put your head down and paddle so hard, popping to your feet and ready to set your rail… But you can’t set your rail. The wind. That damned wind! And now you are falling, falling, falling, bouncing off the icy cement northern Californians call “water” and the wave is landing on top of you and ouch and tombstone tombstone not breathing.


Let’s watch the very handsome Derek Dunfee live your nightmare!

Tombstoning: A demonstration by Derek Dunfee from Derek Dunfee on Vimeo.

But what is my greatest fear in surfing? Oh. Easy. Walking out on some rocks during a mid-sized day, preparing to jump and accidentally slipping. Getting rolled around for a few minutes while those on the shore film. Having it posted to Instagram.

Worse than losing an arm to shark, a back to reef or a life to drown.

Just in: Barack Obama loves surf reads!

President Barack Obama can't get enough high shred!

Bill Finnegan’s book Barbarian Days has torn up the charts winning every imaginable award, including the Pulitzer Prize. It is a beautifully written memoir detailing a life spent wearing the surf yoke. Shall we read just one small section?

We rented a room in town from a crazy old man named Harry Kobatake. One hundred dollars a month for a roach-infested sweatbox with a toilet down the hall. We cooked our meals on a hot plate on the floor. The rent was high, but Lahaina had a housing shortage. Also, Kobatake’s rooming house was directly across Front Street from the harbour, where two of the best local waves broke. Bryan had been right — the good summer waves were all in or near town. One spot, called Breakwall, needed real swell to be rideable. Over four feet, it could produce sweet lefts and rights on a jagged reef straight off a rocky breakwater that ran parallel to shore. The other spot, known as Harbor Mouth, was a crisp, ultraconsistent peak on the west side of the harbour entrance channel. It was good even at one foot, crowded, and picked up every hint of south swell. The crowd was largely haole, not local. That became my bread-and-butter spot.


And you know who else thinks so? President of the United States of America Barack Obama! He just released his summer reading list and you know which book was number 1.

Barbarian Days!

Surf Spendor’s David Lee Scales sent this information along. Did you know he was named after David Lee Roth? His parents must have also been living barbarian days.

Listen here as David Lee and William chat! Your sixth favorite surf tabloid even gets a shout out! Barack may love Bill but Bill loves us!