Is surfing behind the best in the world something you should complain about?
You want a fast-track to good surf technique? Surf behind someone better than you.
It always amazed me, still does, how very good surfers seem to control the wave. They are rarely more than a metre away from the pocket and turn on parts of the wave that would have most hunch-backing for the tube. I hanker, therefore, for pro drop-ins. The cheapest coach money can’t buy. I watch their feet. I watch the motion of their torsos. I watch the swinging of the arms.
Which is why it perplexes me when average surfers hair-out in the lineup and, a, either hassle maybe the best surfer alive off a wave or, b, weep when they gotta share.
As Dane Reynolds once told the chocolate-nippled Morgan Maassen in an interview I commissioned , “Every single day I get dropped in on. It’s super backward compared to other sports. Tom Curren should be able to paddle out at Rincon and get any wave he wants. But he doesn’t get a break from anyone. He grovels around on the inside like a grom while guys that look like they’ve been surfing for four months catch bombs. It’s unbelievable.”
What do you think of the behaviour of the longboarding man in the clip below, who is angry when he splits a wave with Kelly Slater?
“Maybe I owe a wave to at Surf Ranch,” says Kelly. “I was on the wave about 5-10 seconds before he took off and I went past him. That’s where this edit begins. He didn’t have a leash and his board washed up next to my gf but he didn’t know she was my gf. He had a few choice words about me to the guy sitting next to her on the beach. So yeah, maybe we should just ride it out all the way together next time!”
Comments on the post, 881 at last count, are roughly two-to-one in favour of Kelly.
(Note: If you’re on a laptop, you might just get the top-thirds of the clip. Click on “kelly slater” and navigate to the clip.)
While you’re here, how about we relive the time the wonderful Chucky Rigano fell like pennies from heaven onto Dane Reynolds at the very same wave. Read, “Barneys Act Like I Spat on Dane’s Baby!” here.
patiently waiting for someone to slap kelly in the lineup..anyone..?
i must admit. i have always had daddy issues. this could work.
Honestly, Kelly’s turning into a very unlikeable champ.
As a side note, I’d bet the logger thought Slater’s girlfriend was a teenage boy. How about a story on why Kelly hasn’t gotten married yet?
The clip’s from 2008 😉
The full vid is here, https://www.youtube.com/wat…
In all fairness it was kind of a burn fest all around out there that night. Just really good, clean, low tide and everyone on the planet showed up for it.
Really? Taking a swing at the girlfriend? Wow.
And while we are on the topic, can anyone recommend a surf coach? because coaches and surfing go together like jelly and peanut butter now! Coach must like baby oil.
Kelly will sign all sycophant brodown tin foil hats!
“Love, Kelly aka the messiah”
…don’t know a developer who can solve the glitch do you?
It’s got something to do with the CSS in here:
http://beachgrit.com/wp-con…
Which is overriding the height and setting it to auto. Which should be fine? whatever cbf looking into it more
Would you be interested in an exciting (but unpaid) intern position at Beach Grit?
any real css properties override html attributes so the css style height:auto overrides the height attribute of the iframe height=”495″. https://www.w3.org/TR/CSS2/… Don’t know anything about wordpress or how instagram embed plugins work though.
Yeah, I saw. Just tried to call the champ. Didn’t pick up.
Flick me his number, I’ll try until I get through.
wow. you have kelly’s direct number! auction it off to the highest bidder. BG will be funded for the next ten years, with minimum wage for all!
I don’t care if you are flash-fucking-Gordon you don’t drop in on me. Yes, I am a kook but that wave belongs to me you greedy surfed everywhere on planet with a million waves prick.
What part about Kelly was “riding the wave for 5-10 seconds” before the Barney took off behind him didn’t you understand?
Dyslexia FTW!
Anyway, I’m all about knee-jerk and outrage and sensationalism and kelly-hating!
used vw wagon, converted to diesel = $10,000
patagonia plant based 4/3 wetsuit = $900
resin tinted retro singlefin made in 2015 = $850
growing your hair and beard out = free
getting burned twice by slater twice – once in public at your homebreak, then again in front of 1.7 million followers on social media = priceless – except maybe the part about you not wearing a leash at a pointbreak lined with rocks on a solid day which probably resulted in a couple cracks in your resin tinted board which sucks extra bad since fixing a ding and matching the color is a giant pain in the asshole
p.s.
kelly wave = rincon
dane wave = sandspit
…mmmm, Sandspit, yup. I’m a novice sometimes.
As opposed to slaters SUV or whatever he drives, and the resin and fiberglass on his board. Never ceases to amaze me that surfers care what boards etc. other surfers use, or that ability with a fundamentally pointless activity is a barometer of social worth. Also I’ll bet deep down Kelly wishes he had some hair.
its not a barometer of social worth, they’re in the fucking way. paddling out at premier surf spots and blowing drops or sticking the front 3 feet of that resin tint fish out of the lip hoping somebody doesn’t make a section
My barometer of social worth indicates that when barometric pressure rises on the coast and falls in the Aleutians, those with the least ability and greatest sense of surfing self are often at the beach. Just toggle your NOAA radio and you’ll find the frequency a few clicks up.
well Ben, what the hell are surfers supposed to care about. Of course we give a fuck about what boards other people ride! We constantly type cast based on all sorts of shit. Including baldness.
You can care about whatever you want Nick. Just like I can think it’s ridiculous to disparage someone for riding a log, single fin, blow-up pool toy or whatever.
Oh it’s ridiculous! I should know, I am bald. But I bet you do ridiculous things too Ben. Come on, you do! Like it can’t really amaze you on a constant basis that surfers typecast each other based on equipment.
Slap the cuffs on and tickle me pink cause I’m guilty as charged!!
How does him taking off behind Slater = getting burned by Slater?
Kelly Wave = Sebastian Inlet
It’s like Slater’s legs have a mind of their own; “shimmy” and boom, old guy goes flying; hilarious. Dane’s video: he manhandled that wave to get in the barrel and then boom! Old dork falls from the sky! Haha; that sucks.
I didn’t see Parko once. Took off. He went past me like Brocky used to drive past my ugly mum.
Fuck man, where you been my whole existence?!