great white

Great White Attack Caught on GoPro!

Not a single girlish squeal to be heard. Hard as fucking nails.

It’s been a heavy few days. Death and crazy Brazilians and surf media moguls latching onto nonsense hype pieces I wrote because I couldn’t think of anything good.

Which is amusing, right?

I’m not rubbed raw that certain circles snagged our stuff. I know it bugs Chas, but I think he’s overreacting a bit. After all, we are the TMZ of surfing. I’m proud of that label. TMZ makes a ton of money. I want money. Real money. Ruin-your-life money. Not surf industry money.

So when “legitimate” outlets borrow my empty hype I can’t help but smile. Really lays bare the state of the media. Hopefully it’ll make people expect more.

Not from me, of course. What you see is what you get. I’m totally into slow news day low effort “borrowing.” We’re all livin’ in glass houses!

I’m doing it today.

Because yesterday was heavy, today I want something soft. Too much existential weirdness on my plate. I want something easy to swallow.

Not that a shark attack is light fare, usually. Gore and blood and maimed limbs fucking suck. But near misses are damn neat.

Homeboy gets hammered from behind by a Great White. Fucking thing eats his fin! Then he fends off another two attacks and escapes to safety.

Not a single girlish squeal to be heard. Hard as fucking nails. Kept his shit together, made the right choices, got away unscathed.

Just needs a new set of fins. I’m sure there’s a company that’ll toss him a pair gratis.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
guest
18 Comments
Newest
Oldest Most Voted
Vicente Fictício Cruz
Vicente Fictício Cruz
10 years ago

If the guy didn’t have a pair of humongous balls he would’ve paddled faster!!!

Shark week is every week
Shark week is every week
10 years ago

Really coulda edited his video to about 20 seconds… waste my time watchin a man swim backwards with one fin!

Darghh
Darghh
10 years ago

That’s what got me, he was so calm. I think I’d have died of shock!

Captain Clark
Captain Clark
10 years ago

Balls, shear balls. The long fins definitely saved his leg, maybe even his life. That and his calm approach. I probably would have shot that sucker in the head and panicked when it didn’t work.

Ghostface Braddah
Ghostface Braddah
10 years ago

A little bit of fight and a little bit of flight – that’s how you survive.

Badger
Badger
10 years ago

Fuck. That.

DrunkenAngel
DrunkenAngel
10 years ago

#sharkswantgoproselfiestoo

#notallsharks

SayNoToGoPro
SayNoToGoPro
10 years ago

Finally a use of the gopro I can get behind. And he can have my fins too, I dont think I’ll be using them this winter.
https://uploads.disquscdn.c…

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago
Reply to  SayNoToGoPro

Agreed, this is justifiable GoPro footage. Beats the filipino guy surfcasting for striper with the mouth mount cam… a sight to behold, truly.

SayNoToGoPro
SayNoToGoPro
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

mouth mount and surf are words that dont belong in the same sentence… whoops I just did it.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago
Reply to  SayNoToGoPro

mouth mount is the technical translation of what i say to girls in Prague

janeausten
janeausten
10 years ago
Reply to  SayNoToGoPro

Gimping can be compulsory or discretionary…

Tommy Stellar
Tommy Stellar
10 years ago
Reply to  SayNoToGoPro

nice swallow tail!

Abscessed Llama
Abscessed Llama
10 years ago

Amazing to see how well that fish blended into its environment. Which encounter was gnarlier this guy’s or Mick’s?

david fffff
david fffff
10 years ago

Tell me where this is so I never fucking go there, ever.

Smidge
Smidge
10 years ago

Geeze this is from Refugio an area I frequent. Glad he was ok.

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago

and a spear gun vs a great white is like a blowdart against an elephant

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

Looked like it helped though.


18
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x