Just in: Medina threatens lawsuit?

Is world number 3-ish on the warpath against your very own BeachGrit?

Did you know BeachGrit is just over two years old? We are! And thank you for coming. Thank you so very much for paying us daily visits. Oh we know there is so much we both could and should do better but we is what we is. And as of today we is the most ever!

Ex-champion Gabriel Medina, current world number three-ish, just threatened, through a maybe third party, to maybe sue because our own, wonderful, Rory Parker posted a direct translation of his Instagram post!

Do you remember?

Of course you do! Medina took to Twitter, shortly after losing a close heat and wrote:

Hora de ir pra casa. Muito triste, eu dedico ou dediquei minha vida pra isso…to cansado, cansei!

Rory Parker picked it up from there:

What does that mean? I don’t speak Portuguese. Only English. And Spanish, sorta.

Yippee for Google’s translation magic!

Time to go home. Very sad, I dedicate or have dedicated my life to it … so tired, tired!

Is this the end for Gabby? Past tense reference to his competitive career!

Crazy, so crazy.

Sure, it’s probably nothing. Just letting off some steam. Upset he got handed the short end of the stick.

Simple and not very insightful but still good. And true. Just Gabriel Medina’s own words translated into English. But then, glory of all glories, miracles straight from the heavens, an email came shooting through subjected law against beach grit. The author, a probable Brazilian surf photographer with big time legal aspirations wrote:

Medina treat to law process who lie about his future!

His email linked to this story. 

Throw it into Google Translate and it reads:

The world champion of surfing Gabriel Medina and his team , hereby clarify that there is a false statement being issued on his behalf by social and Whatsapp networks.

At no time , Gabriel or someone from his staff commented on any decisions related to their future in the World Tour .

Legal measures will be taken to ensure the integrity of the athlete and find the person responsible for false communication.

We ask , please , that ignore this absurd statement , which affects the athlete , his family, his team, his sponsors and surfing the institution.

At the moment, Gabriel Medina will not comment on the matter and is reunited with his family .

Have you ever read more delicious words? Have you?

I haven’t and am planning on getting them tattooed where Gabriel Medina has his family crest tattooed, right below where he shaves his armpit.

Featt56

And this, officially, represents the high-water mark of your BeachGrit. Thank you for putting up with us. Thank you for laughing Gabriel Medina straight back into the totally shorn cave from whence he first came.

Obrigado to all!

P.S. If any of Medina’s other third parties feel like threatening hollow legal action maybe take a look around. Rip Curl doesn’t advertise here! Threaten Stab instead! They’re super sissies and cower under desks!

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Dumbth Chronicles
Dumbth Chronicles
10 years ago

Stab ‘super sissies’? That’s a complement considering they are unlikely to have desks.

Tio Sam
Tio Sam
10 years ago

I finally got it. The WSL has implemented its own affirmative action policy. They got quotas for the elder and the mentally challenged. And since we’re near Camp Pendleton, they borrowed the “leave no men behind” from the Corps. KS, JJF: pls catch up in France so we can get the ball rolling again.

Student8888
Student8888
10 years ago

Ask Mariano… White Irishman vs Brazilian? “I only need a total of 13 seconds and a single punch to Aldo’s noggin to prove your theories otherwise.” Lololo.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

Don’t get me started! That jawline alone…

slater thenewdonkey
slater thenewdonkey
10 years ago

Mind. Blown. Best thing I’ve ever read.

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

One-off. Numbers over the decades would still support it: don’t bet on the white guy. Unless it’s to make it out of police interaction unscathed or get financed for that nice house in the suburbs.

Zach Makki
Zach Makki
10 years ago

Guess who fuck auto correct *

Zach Makki
Zach Makki
10 years ago

Medina vs slater feud! Saw Kelly’s last post so I thought I’d look through the comments and guess you commented on it. Fucking medina he just said “hahaha” but that’s obviously condensing. Is that good enough for a blood feud ?

david fffff
david fffff
10 years ago
Reply to  Zach Makki

Blood Feud: Brazilian Fans vs Decency!

Where is the logic on getting mad at Kelly for not voicing an opinion on something that doesn’t involve him. Fuck people need to get a life

Zach Makki
Zach Makki
10 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

There on every post to its wild. It’s like the whole dam country is talking shit on Instagram. I thought the country was to poor to even have that many Instagram users

david fffff
david fffff
10 years ago
Reply to  Zach Makki

I’m just super unclear on how Kelly went from legend to ‘cheat’ in all this?

Zach Makki
Zach Makki
10 years ago
Reply to  david fffff

Idk lol who is more hated in Brazil today Richie porta or Ryan lochte that’s the real question

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
10 years ago
Reply to  Zach Makki

lochte is just a spoiled fool, no brazzo hating at all, beautiful stories happening in paralympics just now, why to give even a nanofuck for this gold medalist loser … maybe his sponsors are sporting some hatred, due his 8 months suspension that’ll pull him from next world championship…

Robbo
Robbo
10 years ago
Reply to  Zach Makki

Except for the fact that Instagram was invented by a brazilian guy.

toofattosurf
toofattosurf
10 years ago
Reply to  Robbo

300.000.000 cellphones, 1,5 for each countryman, just sayin’…

Zach Makki
Zach Makki
10 years ago
Reply to  Robbo

It was a joke

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

I know it’s not the point, it merely provided an opportunity to comment on the fact that he’s a legitimate physical specimen (a thoroughbred amongst Chas’s racehorses, if you will).

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

Never bet on the white guy. Unless he’s Russian/former USSR.

Badger
Badger
10 years ago

I went surfing. What did I miss?

Stiffin Cuckoldildo
Stiffin Cuckoldildo
10 years ago

can I point out the email is obvs referring to whomever wrote the statements on medinas instagram and not this site..

Neah Kah Nie Pirate
Neah Kah Nie Pirate
10 years ago

It’s all so true!

Know what else is true about Gabe? He’s gay!!!! Lololololol!

Can you believe?!

Me either.

But, I also read about a surf journalist raping another surfer and that was totes uncool to talk about. No blood feud there.

Kennypowersmullet
Kennypowersmullet
10 years ago

Sarge at large

jimbome
jimbome
10 years ago

cut scene from pickles beach short

A$AP Honky
A$AP Honky
10 years ago

time for the big fella to grow a set and ditch the clingons. Andy didn’t bring mummy and Daddy on tour.

Professor Ski Lodge
Professor Ski Lodge
10 years ago
Reply to  A$AP Honky

And now he’s dead. Maybe he should have brought the family unit to every event and every after party to deliver him from temptation (excluding Bruce of course). But I take your point, and will discuss with Charlie the concept of him fucking off and practicing his smiling at home in his own time. I’d be doing myself out of a job, but the needs of the many outweigh the need of the few.

Jocks
Jocks
10 years ago

Jesus christ

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

He would have fucked Glen Hall up. I still think Gabby would have been a hell of a fighter…maybe one of the toughest athletes in performance surfing, even if he is a pretty boy.

Professor Ski Lodge
Professor Ski Lodge
10 years ago
Reply to  Mariano Landa

Yeah beating up midgets is awesome. Sorry you didn’t get to witness that. Maybe next time…

Mariano Landa
Mariano Landa
10 years ago

If Glen Hall had as many apologists among the judges as he does here, he’d still be on tour.

Audit In Progress
Audit In Progress
10 years ago

Oh lord, this IS absolutely delicious!

Larvell Jones
Larvell Jones
10 years ago

Hey Chas, you might got one side of it or you are lying. Medina threatenned to sue another thing, a false statement saying he would come back only in 2017 and talking directly about retirement and shit. But, as you can’t miss the oporttunity, you receive a unofficial email from someone you cant even mention who and come up with this shit to please your readers……All right to make jokes, to be racist, to do whatever makes you happy. But try not to lie like this. The kid had been doing enough to destroy his image, you dont need to lie.

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Larvell Jones

Larvell… I am a Brazil apologist…I love everything about! But Gab threatening through a third party deserves all the jokes in the world. Don’t you agree?

Larvell Jones
Larvell Jones
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

I do if it’s true. Why don’t you say the name of the third party? What i saw today was a tsunami of bullshit of some of mine stupid countrymen saying things Medina did not say. And because of this he needed to make an official statement telling that were all lies (by the way, the translation was correct and true).

Chas Smith
Chas Smith
10 years ago
Reply to  Larvell Jones

I want to love Medina…I totally do…but this behavior seems par for the course for him….

Larvell Jones
Larvell Jones
10 years ago
Reply to  Chas Smith

Yes, he needs a brainwash and a better PR. But he is not a bad guy at all. There are and were much worst in the ct.
Anyway, can you publish the name of the one who threatened the site? Maybe he will get a lawsuit himself.

Mustard Tiger
Mustard Tiger
10 years ago
Reply to  Larvell Jones

Are you his mother?

Larvell Jones
Larvell Jones
10 years ago
Reply to  Mustard Tiger

fuck off mustard

Matos Surf Shop
Matos Surf Shop
10 years ago
Reply to  Larvell Jones

Casio Cabuagunga Monteiro do Nacimento Jr.

Larvell Jones
Larvell Jones
10 years ago

???

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago
Reply to  Larvell Jones

that’s his nickname

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago
Reply to  Larvell Jones

you think Charlie will let him hire PR consultants?

Larvell Jones
Larvell Jones
10 years ago
Reply to  bitter guy

he should

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago
Reply to  Larvell Jones

he really should

J H
J H
10 years ago
Reply to  Larvell Jones

Larvelle…take your “you bunch of racists!!!” bullshit and shove it up your ass. Oh…and have a nice day.

Larvell Jones
Larvell Jones
10 years ago
Reply to  J H

does not fit…..sorry

Ashton's Yellow Hat
Ashton's Yellow Hat
10 years ago

Rackin up more fans. This is why gabby is so disliked. Waste of talent

bitter guy
bitter guy
10 years ago

did he really lose any though? nobody outside Brasil has liked him since the Portugal walk-off, and he could rape 10 year old boys and not lose a single supporter among his countrymen


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