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Mainstream media loses ever loving mind over “bada bing bada boom biggest ever New Jersey surf!”

Would you look at that, Tony.

I’ll tell you what, I love New Jersey. Love it from its Cape Mike May all the way up to the Red Bank. The affair began, in earnest, when I traveled to the Garden State for BeachGrit‘s second annual wetsuit review starring Tommy Ihnken, an instant classic of a man. It was set in Asbury Park and I wandered around in Bruce Springsteen’s footsteps thinking “Where have you been all my life?”

A New Jersey Wetsuit Fairytale

In any case, the glorious place was just hit with a historic run of swell dubbed “biggest ever” by the gobsmacked mainstream media. The local CBS affiliate interviewed the acclaimed photographer Ryan Simalchik who declared, “I think the general consensus on what the size of the waves were Monday was in the 15-to-20-foot range, with some sets up to 25 feet.”

Other acclaimed photographer Ryan Mack added, “It was the most surreal because you’re sitting there and you’re like, there’s 20 foot waves coming in, but I’m five minutes from my house. This should be something that happens in Hawaii or Portugal, you know? But it was happening in our backyard.”

Anchors, stunned, described surfers falling more than two storeys.

Surfer Magazine’s artificial intelligence became amazed, as well, oddly calling the scene as a “Ben Graveyard.”

The Inertia dropped an F-bomb. As in “freaking.”

Watch here.

Biggest Waves Ever in New Jersey (Raw footage)

David Lee Scales and I did not, anyhow, discuss monstrous New Jersey surf during our weekly chat but I did go off on multiple unhinged, barely intelligible rants. One about the aforementioned Surfer and ‘Nertia sucking hard.

Enjoy with friends.

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18 Comments
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tim_nelsen

white picket fences…

tim_nelsen

please distribute amongs y’all selves…niggas

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….

tim_nelsen

sympathy card from Hallmark…we feel you bu’

https://scontent-sjc3-1.xx….

Durban Poison

Solid 8 to 10 but 20, what a joke! Great wetsuits vid though.

Dogsnuts

Claims 30ft during the vid! Just awful!
Xox

License to ill

Cute that the LGBTQ+ community are getting in on filming surf in New Jersey

V3 Rocket

Ohhhwwwwww. Mmmmwwhhy. Godddd!

Dogsnuts

Itssssss sooooooo fwuuucked!
Xox

Sean Connery

Jesus! There should be a warning label in that heading telling us to put on mute

tim_nelsen

no cc, but could see and hear pattygonia no solvents, fuc= trump, put it on my tab…Ashbury Park, Tommy…tom. “How the fuc= do I get into dat ting…” 3/4, 5/4, 6/4, hut. hike!

Sean Connery

When they take the remaining 74% off I will pick some up to wipe the wax off my board after leaving it in the sun. Running out of old drawers.

deeks

And then use it as a kill rag. I hope

Dogsnuts

Why the fuck do American’s exclaim “Ohhhwwwwww. Mmmmwwhhy. Godddd!” in surf edits. If you do this please stop. If you hear others doing this, please stop them.
Xox

Sean Connery

Hearing surfers voices is such a turn off.

Dogsnuts

Look, when I watch this it will not be twenty foot. It’s fucken bullshit already. 20ft fucken New Jersey scale. Pffft.
Xox

Firelipe Torpedo

Ayyy you from jersey? Next thing I know jersey party in sizzler

Stick man

Ehhh yo! What Exit?

Sup Braj

poop


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